Page 27 of Until Forever

“Mom, you weren’t supposed to make a noise. You almost got us caught,” he curls up to her and whispers.

I smirk, then my face morphs into a smile as I watch the two of them. My mind empties of any thought that isn’t of them. JJ stabs his plate, silencing his cheer with a mouthful of eggs.

My heart drums and warmth floods my veins. I can feel the adrenaline building, the aching need to know everything she’s never told me. She kept me from this. Seven years I’ve missed—no first steps, his first fall, or whether he learned to say mama before dada. I don’t know things like what’s his favorite show, or food, though now I’m pretty sure it’s chocolate chip pancakes.

He’s already grown up, and I’ve missed the chance to witness it. I zero in on his face, locking every light-brown freckle into my memory bank. Most people will have stories about their kid as an infant, but this is all I have. My earliest memory will be of the time he nearly got eggs on a stranger’s shoe.

Almost like nothing happened, he picks up his crayons and continues working on the activity sheet they gave him. My mouth is suddenly dry, every swallow scraping like sandpaper. I reach for the water on my left and take a slow drag from the straw. Latoya makes eye contact with me, her shoulders hanging low, and the once-fun demeanor is instantly replaced by dread.

She shies away, looking everywhere but at me. I know she’d want me to stop staring, and I don’t mean to, but I can’t help it. She fakes at helping JJ work on his sheet, and as I breathe in through my nose, I study her. For the first time tonight, I can see how tired she is, the same expression she wore when she got the call from JJ’s school.

A piece of me wants to be upset that she never told me about him, but then the other half imagines how tough it had to be to raise him alone. From the sound of things, she’s still very close with her parents, and he seems to have a great relationship with them. It’s a small thing to notice and is probably the most natural thing where a healthy family dynamic is concerned. Knowing that she at least had them makes me feel a little better. But even with help, it couldn’t have been easy raising him without his father in the picture.

She meets my eye again, and it’s like she can read my mind. Latoya exhales and presses her lips together. “Later,” she whispers, then turns her attention back to JJ, removing a piece of lint from his curly fade.

I nod and finish off my water, respecting her silent request. As much as I want answers, I have no idea what he knows about me. And considering he was unfazed by the fact we share a name, it tells me she probably never talks about me. Then I wonder what story she told him. Surely he’s asked about who his father is at some point. Or maybe she raised him with such happiness that he didn’t have a care in the world about it.

He’s happy, and that makes my heart swell even more. She’s a great mom, something that was immediately evident. My sweet baby, she’s had to be strong without me, and I hate myself for it. Can I really be pissed? I missed out, so yeah, I feel some sort of way about that. But I was the one who left her, and the realization of that hits harder, kicking me where it already hurts.

She plants her hands on the table, bringing me back to the present. “Okay, JJ, Mommy needs to use the bathroom.”

Jasper nods but doesn’t stop what he’s doing.

“Do you mind watching him?” she asks and pushes off the table when I agree.

Acting on instinct, I lean into the aisle, getting an eyeful of her ass. I was right. She has filled out and in all the places that matter. She disappears around a curve, and I stuff a cold piece of bacon into my mouth. JJ is looking at me, his stare blank, and I clear my throat then shift in my seat, immediately feeling like I’ve been caught with my hand in the cookie jar.

Sitting here with him feels strange. I want to say so much to him, but nothing comes out anytime I open my mouth. A second passes, and I try again.

“What’s your favorite show?” I choke out.

“I like to watch YouTube. I used to like Power Rangers.” He shrugs.

I inhale. “What’s on YouTube?” I ask while squaring my shoulders.

“Kids playing Fortnite and Roblox.” He switches crayons and paints the frog green with yellow spots. “Do you like games?” He glances up at me.

“I haven’t really had time to play,” I admit.

“Maybe you can come to my house and play with me. Mom lets me play for an hour every night.”

I chuckle at his excitement.Are kids always this animated?

“Whew.” Latoya rejoins us, wiping her hands on the front of her jeans as she sits. “What are you two talking about?”

“He was telling me how you let him play his game for an hour each night.” I grip my empty coffee cup, lazily tapping my fingers against it.

“Yeah.” She meets my eyes but this time doesn’t glance away.

She’s so beautiful, and I fight the desire to tell her that. This whole situation already has her on edge. The last thing I want to do is make it awkward in front of JJ.

My gaze falls to her lips, and she notices. I watch her wet them, but I can’t be sure if it’s because I make her nervous or if she’s thinking about our kiss, too. And almost as if it just happened, I feel her mouth on mine. At first, I was certain it was a bad idea, but now I think otherwise. She enjoyed it as much as I did.

“So, Mr. Jasper, how do you know my mom?”

She and I stare at him. I wait to see what she’ll say, but she doesn’t speak.

“We used to be friends,” I answer.

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