Page 33 of Until Forever

He sits back with his bottom lip between his teeth and continuously shakes his head. “I’m not going to. You’ll need to trust me.”

“I am not trying to be difficult about this, Jasper, I’m not. But youdidleave, and I get that you’re here now and you’re making promises, but it’s not that simple. You can’t expect me to trust you on a whim.”

“I get it. I fucked up and I’m man enough to own up to that. But, Latoya, I meant everything I said to you at that party. I’m sorry, and I’ll apologize a hundred times if that’s what you need. I recognize that no amount ofI’m sorriescan change what happened. All I can promise you is now. I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere, not unless you’re both with me. When I told you I’ve changed, I meant that shit. And you’ll see that for yourself. You don’t trust me right now? Fine. But get used to seeing me.”

I nibble on my bottom lip, my chest rising and falling from my heavy breaths. It all sounds good, and a part of me wants to go with it. Then the part of me that’s still heartbroken wants to shut it down. I can’t do that, though, they deserve to know each other.

“He’s mine, and I’m helping him prepare for that game.” He reaches for my hand, squeezing it tightly. “And while I know it’s going to takeyousome time to get back to where we were, Ineverstopped loving you.”

All I can do is stare, his confession hitting me like a ton of bricks. Can I trust his words? I want to, because the fact of the matter is, I’ve never stopped loving him either. But how’s a girl supposed to erase years of disappointment in a person?

“If you’re here to stay, then I’d love for you two to bond. But you’ll need to let me figure out how to handle this.”

“He’ll have questions you shouldn’t have to answer on your own. If you’re comfortable with it, can we do it together? I can take you both out for pizza tonight.”

I nod. “That might actually be okay. He gets out of school at three forty-five. We can meet you at CiCi’s around four.”

“I’d love that,” he adds gratefully.

“Okay. Well, I guess we’ll see you later.” I stand and pull my purse up on my shoulder.

Jasper hops to his feet, awkwardly adjusting his clothes. I can sense he’s not sure what to do with himself. He moves as if he wants to hug me but thinks twice about it.

“Bye, and thank you for this,” he says on my way to the register.

I give him a tight-lipped smile, holding in a breath. After paying for my drinks, I chance a look back at him before slipping out of the café in a mad dash to my car.

* * *

JJ and I make it to CiCi’s a few minutes before Jasper does. After I left the coffee shop, I sat for hours with the idea of telling my son who Jasper is to him. Every nerve in my body feels raw from the anticipation.

There’s no way to tell how this will go, but I’m hoping for the best. They deserve to know each other. So here we are with my heart pounding out of my chest and sweat coating my palms while my son moves about without a care in the world.

“Mom, who are we waiting for again? I’m ready to eat,” JJ announces with his shoulders slumped. “Why can’t I just get one slice? They won’t even know,” he pleads.

I chuckle and pick a piece of lint from his curls. “They will know because you’re a messy eater.”

He sighs. “I’ll wipe my mouth.”

I shake my head, my smile still lingering. It’s just like him, always negotiating. “We’re waiting.”

“Okay,” he drags out.

“Here, do your activity book,” I direct and slide the page they gave us when we arrived in front of him.

He picks up the three crayons they supplied and gets to work. A moment later, I look out the window to find Jasper approaching the door. It’s one-way glass, the inside shielded from those on the opposite side. He’s nervous, I can tell by the way he stops and checks his reflection in the glass, pulling on his clothes as if it’ll make any kind of difference.

At least I’m not alone in this, I think.

Jasper sucks in a breath, straightens his spine, and opens the door. He scans the room in search of us, and his body seems to relax when we make eye contact.

I try to imagine what it would be like to return home after so many years, thinking the only thing to worry about is facing your father and running into your ex, only to find out you’re a parent. It can’t be easy. When I saw him in the hospital that first night, I wanted to scream, kick, or punch him, but I couldn’t. All I could think about was JJ and what this would mean going forward.

No, I didn’t choose to be a single mom, but I’m not bitter. The only thing that matters to me is my son and his happiness. I’ve done the best I can to provide for him with the help of friends and family, but it doesn’t stop the shock of seeing Jasper after so long.

I stare at JJ, watching as he colors away. His whole world is about to change, and that rattles me. The last thing I want is to confuse my baby, but it needs to be done—right?

The closer Jas gets to our table, the harder my heart pumps. I breathe in through my nose, telling myself that it’s all going to be okay. Yes, he may be confused at first, but he’ll be happy—I hope.

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