Page 53 of Until Forever

JJ’s little nose twists up, and I chuckle.

“He doesn’t like ’em,” I admit and load breakfast meat, grits, and pancakes on my plate.

“What?” Jasper pretends to be shocked. “You’re missing out, man.” He continues while taking a large spoonful and letting it splat next to his eggs.

Bits of grits fly onto JJ’s knuckle, and he laughs. “I’ll pass.” He cleans it away with a paper towel.

Jasper grins and pops a piece of bacon into his mouth. I shake my head, trying to wrap my mind around the moment. Just a month ago, I would have never thought we’d be under the same roof, let alone having breakfast together like a family. When I exited my room, I had every intention of telling Jasper that what happened last night cannot happen again and that him living here is probably just as bad of an idea as any.

I heard his pleas, and they were very valid points. The help would be great, and I’m sure my parents could get used to having more time for themselves. Not that they ever complained, they love JJ and he loves them, though lately, he hasn’t wanted to visit them.

But now, sitting here together, the smile on both of their faces feels right. I can’t explain it, and every time I try to make sense of it all, I come back to this perfect picture of us. It’s nice, seeing the happiness on both of their faces, especially Jasper. He didn’t smile much before, only in my presence. It wasn’t like he had much to be cheerful about back then, given how he was raised.

And now I find myself wondering how many times he’s smiled or laughed and what—or who—was the reason?

Shoving a forkful of eggs into my mouth, I hum. “These are good?”

Jasper takes a bite. “Someone taught me well.” He grins, his voice hinting at the fact that I am indeed the person who taught him how to make eggs the way I like them.

I smile and continue eating.

“So, I was wondering if it’ll be okay with you if JJ and I went to the park to practice for the game?” Jasper asks in between chews.

I look at him for a moment, not sure exactly what to say. Yes, I allowed him to stay with JJ alone for three days while I worked, and I probably could have said no, but I needed to get to work, and him being here was convenient. I don’t regret it because the two of them had a really good time together. But I’m not sure if that means that I’m ready for him to just go off with him.

A part of me worries if it’s all too fast, but then I see them together, playing and smiling at one another. Jasper has been nothing but great to JJ and me, almost like a natural fit into our lives. This seems normal, the way it should have always been.

Deep down I know if he’d known, this story—our lives—would be so different. We’d probably be married by now, and JJ would have had years with Jasper, instead of these few short months.

My heart swells at the recollection of how easy this all feels. The only thing that has mattered to me in eight years is the joy my son feels, and in the last month alone, Jasper has brought more of that to his life. How can I ignore that?

“Please, Mommy, can we?” JJ begs.

I look between the two of them, but I can’t seem to find words. I don’t want to say no, but am I ready for that?

Jasper notices my hesitation and cuts in to save me from being the bearer of bad news. “How about we throw the ball around out back and then afterwards, the three of us can go get ice cream?” He juts his chin in JJ’s direction, but his eyes are on me.

“Thank you,” I mouth.

Jasper nods and focuses on JJ for an answer. “What do you say?”

“Yes,” JJ responds with a hard nod, then inhales a mouthful of pancakes.

Over the next few minutes, we eat until there isn’t room left for anything else. JJ is saying something to Jasper, but I’ve tuned them out, this entire moment feeling surreal. They’re happy, and I don’t want to get in the way of that.

After we finish eating, JJ gets to work on clearing the table. A trait he’s never possessed before. You wouldn’t believe the amount of times I have to remind him to put his dishes away, and the fight he always gives me. But not today. Today he’s moving about like a little man, emptying the scraps into the garbage and putting the dishes in the sink.

JJ catches me looking at him. “Why are you staring at me like that?”

With my brows raised and my lips pinched into a half-smile, I shake my head. “I’m just wondering where my son went.”

“I’m right here.” He waves his hands at his sides.

Pulling him into a hug, I kiss the top of his head then pat him on his bottom. “Go get dressed.”

“Then can I play my game?” he asks with wide eyes.

I stare at him for a beat, still not sure I recognize the kid in front of me. “Yes, then you can play your game.”

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