Page 171 of Little Sunshine

And again.

I wanted to give in to it, but I couldn’t let myself.

Ash had done so much for me. He let me stay with him. Supported me. Showed me what it was like to be wanted for once. Made me feel like my neediness wasn’t a flaw because it was something he couldn’t live without.

True to his promise, he’d taken care of me.

I needed to do the same. “But what about the news?”

His fingers squeezed until they dug in. “Anything I did to them, they had?—”

“I don’t care about that. What if you get caught?”

He froze again. “What?”

“I watched a segment on the news, and they think it was an overdose. So if they do an autopsy or whatever, and it comes back not drugs, they’ll start looking into it more.” When I’d seen the news and realized what Ash’s version of deal with them entailed, panic had seized me. It grew at the possibility of everything imploding around us. “You could get caught.”

“You’re worried about me?”

I nodded.

The world was filled with bad people. I wasn’t going to get in a moral outrage that there were two less of them walking around, trying to assault women in alleys. I didn’t have to wonder what kind of person it made me because I already knew it made me a shitty one. I also didn’t care about that.

Ash grinned at me like I was adorable.

“I’m serious. What if it traces back to you? Are the police or FBI or whoever going to bang that door down to haul the man I love off to prison?”

Ash’s smile fell. His body went so rigid, it might as well have been etched from marble. His hands clenched my thighs tight enough that I could see the veins popping out under the tattooed skin. I wasn’t even sure he breathed. “Say it again.”

“Prison?”

“Camila…”

It was fast. Illogical. Insane.

That didn’t make it not true.

I knew without a doubt that I loved Ash.

I wasn’t confused, like having never experienced love meant I didn’t know how it felt.

I was certain because I’d never experienced love. There was no mistaking that untainted beauty for anything else.

“I love you,” I said, my words ending in a moan.

I thought I’d seen him desperate.

Wild.

Unhinged.

But I hadn’t actually seen Ash lose control. Not until right then, with his mask of civility gone to show me the ruthless monster that hid behind nice suits and charming smiles.

My monster.

My protector.

My Daddy.

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