Page 14 of My Shy Alpha

I burst out laughing. The sound breaks Noah’s red face free from his palm, but an eagerness in his stare steals my breath. I’m bombarded with a hug, his head rubbing into my shoulder until I laugh even harder.

“Is this because I called you my Alpha?”

“Y-yes. I never thought someone would call me that.”

“Never? But I thought that meant you were my pack leader, so to speak. Aren’t Alphas the dominant wolf?”

Noah was already shaking his head “no” before I finished talking. “Not always. Traditional wolves act like it’s a hard-wired wolf sex based on reproductive organs - that wolves with balls are dominant Alphas and wolves with a uterus are submissive Omegas.”

My stomach churns. Wolves sound as sexist as humans.

But Noah, an Alpha likely steeped in patriarchal belief systems since birth, rolls his eyes. “I’ve met plenty of wolves, and trust me, it’s way more complex. It’s more like our inner wolf’s personality trait, except our personalities boost the smell we give off. I mainly give off Alpha pheromones, meaning I’m more impulsive and protective about everything I care about. There are also Betas with blended pheromones. They tend to be resilient mediators. But you smell more like an Omega, most likely making you more calculated and aware of the whole picture. Thoughtful, warm, and comforting, by instinct.”

I’m surprised by how much this prompted Noah to speak. Not only speak, but also speak from his heart. I can hear it in his steadied voice.

But Noah’s brows pinch, his stare dropping to his knees. “Some people want to call Omegas docile, but I think that’s unfair. I think they’re forced to be scared of Alphas to survive, and unfortunately, a lot of Alphas want to keep it that way. So no, I’m not your leader. That’s not what this is.”

I understand what he means about Alphas forcing Omegas into survival mode. Human men like Steven used the same concepts against me, a human woman.

But today feels different. Noah isn’t telling me what he thinks I want to hear to win over my trust; he knows nothing of my history, and his thoughts on Omegas were unprompted. He could’ve easily said yes, he’s the dominant one, and I’m required to submit to him in the wolf world. But he told me the truth – many Alphas assume dominance over Omegas, and he’s aware of our implied power imbalance. He’s been actively combatting that imbalance since we met, even when I knew nothing about it.

Trust unlocks a new chamber in my heart. One I never thought I’d let a man see.

“Are wolves just as homophobic as humans too?” I mutter.

My eyes widen. I didn’t think that one through before blurting it out. What if he has no idea what I mean?

But Noah breathes out an airy chuckle. “Now you sound like me. It’s hard to say, though. Our pack seems more open compared to what I’ve heard about most human societies, but there’s still a social expectation for Alphas and Omegas to be mated.” He glances at me warily. “B-but I– I never pictured myself as an Omega’s Alpha. Just someone’s Alpha.”

I can’t contain my smile. “Now you sound like me too. I’m bisexual.”

His shoulders loosen, allowing him to sink deeper into my couch like I just offloaded a boulder from his arms.

My heart stings at how relieved he seems. I can only imagine he’s had years of painful misunderstandings around disclosing his sexuality, just like me.

I huddle in closer, hoping it soothes his heart. “So you’re my Alpha, as in my Alpha mate? You never thought you’d find your mate?”

“Not after e-everyone else I grew up with found their mates, and I’m already 31. Especially not a mate anywhere close to–” He dares to peek at me for a mere second. “To someone gorgeous, like you.”

The second he says it, I know he means more than my body. I’ve never felt such a rush of adoring yet soothing emotions, every atom of me whispering, You’re safe. He’s safe.

I grip his hand, whispering raw truths before I hide them away again. “Noah, how much I want you scares me. After the life experiences I’ve had, it’s hard for me to open up. But something about you makes me want to be vulnerable... With my shy Alpha.”

Noah’s sweet, flustered stare flips my heart.

“But I’m not used to these feelings,” I blurt out. “To the point where it’s safer to believe you’ll hurt me. Because then, I won’t be disappointed if you use your power to take advantage of me too. If you walk out that door when you’re done with me, knowing it’ll leave me behind with nothing.”

Noah lets out a pained breath, stroking my cheek.

I can’t believe I just said all that. Even weirder, that was surprisingly easy to confess. Noah is fully listening, focused on every word with furrowed eyebrows.

“You don’t have to trust me yet,” he says. “I’m here now, either way. You’re safe.”

Tears slip down Noah’s thumb on my cheek. But my smile bursts across my face just the same.

I feel it. I don’t understand how it’s possible, but I feel it, nonetheless. I feel safe.

Noah kisses my forehead before drawing me lower on the couch to lie beside him. “Let’s j-just hold each other for tonight.”

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