Page 120 of Love Me

“I’d be okay with trying. But we have to be careful, Kaden.”

“I know, but how when the mere thought of keeping our distance makes me boil.”

“We still have people we love to think about. Our love should never be the reason we put them in danger.”

“I love you so fucking much.”

We stay wrapped in each other, and I send a small prayer to the universe. Let the odds be on our side. I have made vows, God. I must keep them.

When we get inside our bedroom, he eyes the empty bed, a questioning look in his eyes.

“The letters are for safekeeping. When you make me crazy, they will remind me you’re not that bad.”

He points at himself. “What about when you make me go crazy?”

“Remind yourself I am the only one for you.”

I love the playfulness between us, and I need to drag it out a bit longer to gather strength.

“You are.”

“Good. Now tell me something.”

We climb into bed, and I cuddle myself to him.

“There was this one time. I was slowly losing myself. When the pain morphed into numbness, and my love felt like a play in my mind, for a while, I didn’t care if I lived or died.”

I gulp. His confessions have a way of rattling my heart, and I feel the cracks.

“What changed?”

“I found this place. I needed some space and just drove away. My survival instinct finally kicked in when I stopped the car before the edge of the cliff. I stumbled out of the car, and I felt your presence. I don’t know how to explain this, but everything I bottled up came to the surface.”

“Kaden?”

His eyes find mine, those endless blues, the color of the summer sky and frozen lake coming together, is my all-time favorite image.

“You have been strong for a hundred people. I love your protective side, but baby, that won’t get us anywhere if you don’t share the burden. I was this small girl you coddled until I realized it was a handicap.”

“I’m sorry. That never was my intention.”

I love how he doesn’t excuse himself, he just respects how I feel.

My heart chose well.

“Of course not. I don’t doubt that. We are the world to each other, and I wouldn’t change that for anything but just a bit of a balance.”

“You’ve been this version of yourself all along. I loved you like a boy as if it was my role to protect you even if I clipped your wings. It was hell without you, but it was worth it if that meant we both have come to accept the less innocent, less perfect versions of ourselves. I love you as my equal, as my partner, as the woman you have become: strong, independent, but still mine.”

I kiss him with all the love I have for him.

He is right.

I am his.

Entangled in each other, her leg is draped around mine and my face is buried in her hair. Inhaling her sweet scent, my insides lighten instantly.

An entire range of emotions settles on my chest, making it more full. Waking up to Celine is incredible, but the sun peeks through the blinds, and my good mood threatens to dip, knowing we must return.

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