Page 152 of Love Me

“For what?”

“Because if you thought you knew what pain was, you’re about to get a wake-up call. I will come for you. I swear I will get you out of there. Both of you.”

I shove at his chest but he’s an unmovable stone. “I hate you for this. You just turned me into your accomplice.”

“They’ll forgive you.”

“You don’t fucking get it, do you? We’re family, all of us. What was in your damn mind? We would have found a solution.”

“I don’t expect you to understand.”

I turn my back to him. While I’m on the brink of emotional mayhem, he is the definition of composed.

“Whenever I could sneak there, I told your mother about you. She might appear weak, but she will recover. She’s strong. Now, let’s go back.”

Heartache clenches its crawls around my heart, making it bleed for my mom.

A headache throbs behind my temples, and I rub at them in a circular motion to ease the pressure.

Blake starts the engine. “I wish there was a different way.”

“We would have found one. Now we’ll never know.”

I can’t even look at him right now. I hate that I can understand his thought process. When we think we know the best solution to solve something, we become opaque.

Blake parks the car, and I stare out the window. I have a few more hours with Kaden. That’s why I prefer plans. They give you a sense of security, as shallow as it might be.

“I need to ask something else of you.”

“Oh, another thing? Please, I’m not stopping you.”

“We need to keep the pretense alive.”

I shut the door behind me and tiptoe into my room. I scream on the inside as I go to the bathroom and slide down the door. My ass hits the floor, and I throw my head against it.

But feeling sorry for myself is not an option. I stand, deciding to take an even bigger risk.

I go to my desk, pull a paper and a pen out of the drawer, and write.

Dear Grandmother, you can’t imagine how I feel having to look you in the eyes and act as if it means something. It doesn’t when it should have.

By the time you read this, I will be held captive in the laboratory. I heard it's quite the fun experience, but you seem to thrive on our fears and weaknesses so I hope you don’t choke on it. (That’s a lie.)

I smirk while writing this. I won because I made you believe I was the subdued, behaved, and brainless soldier you wanted. Newsflash, I am not. I came back to avenge my father and get my mother back. Oh, didn’t I tell you? My father is alive and has done what you couldn’t: search for my mother.

I bet you want to know where she is? Right under your nose, literally. I guess your little soldiers have run amok. Hmm, Grandmother, Grandmother, did you turn soft? Or just blind? I think the coup is going to hit you right in your condescending face.

What was it? Fear breeds respect and loyalty? Imagine me throwing my head back and laughing at your credo. Love breeds loyalty, but you wouldn’t know that.

Let me tell you a story. I didn’t cause my parents’ accident. The brakes were tampered with. Your little soldier turned traitor, Felix, was still obsessed with my mom. I guess that’s what happens when you don’t let people screw on their own. I despise him even more than I do you. But I understand the pain, the rage, and the injustice. And when we take it in our hands, we turn justice sour. Felix erased my memories, quite a brilliant move. Are you proud of him? Because you should be. He’s even more ruthless than you are. Mom was alive then. She is alive now. You blamed me, but guess what, it never was my fault.

And I don’t care. You are nothing to me, anyway.

Do with this whatever you want. But my mother’s last words were to tell you she was loyal, but her love for me demanded she take me away. She knew you’d eventually see her loving me as a weakness. My parents left with me because they didn’t want to live their lives in cages under your tyranny.

I place the pen down and read it, feeling vindicated. The only thing I regret is not seeing her face while she reads my letter.

The little girl who wanted love and comfort will never get the satisfaction of having it.

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