Page 85 of Love Me

“If you say I needed her, I will lose my shit.”

His body tenses, and I try to bring some order in my disarrayed thoughts. “I was all you saw, but it’s like she gave you strength to do so.”

He squeezes his eyes, anger flexing his toned body.

“I swear, Celine, at times, I think you went through a damn brain transplant to spew so much bullshit. Jealousy, I get that. Fuck knows I am livid, blind with it. But to fucking look at me while being in my arms with all the love that we share and say that… That hurts the most.”

He hops off the bed and paces around. I pull the blanket to my chin, suddenly cold.

“Abi understands me… you were loved by your parents. We didn’t even get scraps. That fucks with your head. I wonder if you’ll ever understand how deep my love runs for you.”

He turns his back to me, looking outside.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

My heart races, and he peers at me over his shoulder. Dejection paints his face.

“You returned for whatever reason, and I made a promise to them. Yet here I am with you, possibly knocking you the hell up. You bewitch me and I embrace the madness. Still, I wonder if you just want me to fall…fail.”

What is happening right now?

I whisper, “You don’t trust me.”

“Why would I? Do you think I’m stupid? Mia is working on Blake. I hope you can fucking sleep well at night knowing that guy is already fucked up in the head.”

“Then we have Hunter and Bailey. That leaves you to cover me.”

Betrayal stares back at me. I am proud of how smart he is, affected that my feelings for him would always impede me from doing what he accuses me of.

“You think so highly of me.”

“You got what you came for. My cum is still inside of you. Do you want a piece of me so badly?”

Yes. I can’t get pregnant, though I hope it will happen.

I am not delusional. I have a plan, including going away the moment this all ends. Starting over, becoming someone without a legacy strapped around her ankles.

I don’t want to be this angry person anymore. I don’t want to be this sick-in-love girl who needs to inflict pain on the one she loves to make her own pain feel tolerable. Provoking and taunting him to get a reaction so my stupid heart is justified in having loved him. I am exhausted.

“Don’t you want a piece of us? We’re…”

“Say it, and maybe then you will act accordingly.”

“What’s that supposed to mean? It’s not even legal…”

“I swear to god, if you say our marriage is not valid, I will blow a gasket.”

“Then act like my husband.”

I crave you, you moron. I am desperate for you. I burn in the hell of my need for you.

“I wish I could.”

I urge my heart to stop loving him.

He drags a hand down his face and props his ass against the windowsill.

In the silence, his heavy breaths exude despair.

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