Page 62 of His to Break

If I had the guts, I’d go back inside, fall to my knees at her feet, and beg her to forgive me. I’ve had guns pointed at me, but I’m scared to look into her eyes and find them filled with disgust. After I fucked her like an animal and told her I doubted her word, I’d understand if she never wanted to see me again.

With no plan in mind, I get into my car and just drive. In a strange sort of daze, I navigate the city streets until I find myself pulling into the parking lot behind Aphrodite’s. Fuck knows why I came to the place I hate most in the world. Perhaps it’s because this is where I first met Vinnie. I want to remember the moment I first glimpsed the fiery spirit I left extinguished on that cold, hard bed.

I get out of the car and type in the security code to get through the employee entrance. This early in the morning, only the manager is here, stocking the bar before opening. I can’t remember the guy’s name, but like everyone who works here, he’s a lowlife. Tall and skinny, he has a permanently sour expression on his face.

“Mr. Volante.” He’s unsurprisingly shocked to see me as I approach.

“Get out.”

“But I have to…”

“Out!” I yell, leaving no doubt this time that it’s an order.

He scrambles away and a few seconds later, a door slams. I go behind the bar and grab the best bottle of scotch I can find in this dump. It’s a Macallan, a cheaper blend than I would usually drink, but that hardly matters right now. I grab a glass and go to a booth in the corner. I pour a glass and drink it in one go, chasing it with another.

The alcohol dulls the twisting pain but doesn’t make it disappear altogether. Everything’s so fucked up, I can’t think straight. When I agreed to marry Vinnie, I didn’t expect to fall for her so hard, so fast. I intended to be a good husband while remaining emotionally detached. Now I realize I was kidding myself.

From the moment I first saw her, I knew she was special. She’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever been with, but that’s not what draws me to her. It’s her spirit. Vinnie has this spark inside her, a vitality I can’t help being attracted to. When she says she didn’t betray me, I think she’s being genuine, but I’m worried my feelings for her are blinding me. I’ve never been in love before. It’s messing with my head. Do I trust my gut or listen to the worries nagging at the back of my mind?

As I fill my glass for a third time, my cellphone rings. Though I don’t want to speak to anyone right now, I have to take the call. It’s Matteo. He might have news about Gio.

“How is he?” I ask as soon as I answer.

“Still the same.”

“Fuck!” I guess it is too early for him to be awake. “How’s Mamma?”

“Antonio tried to send her home, but she’s refusing to leave. She’s asking where you disappeared to. You know how she is. She thinks something’s going on.”

Shit. My mother can be tenacious when she senses we’re keeping things from her. I don’t want her to know I’ve got my wife locked away in the warehouse where we dispose of threats to the family.

“I can’t come back yet. I don’t have proof of who shot Gio.”

“We already know,” Matteo says, “The cops did their job for once.”

“What?” Why was that not the first thing he said to me? “Who was it?”

“Gino di Santo.”

I rack my brain, trying to remember where I know that name from. Nothing comes to mind. “Who?”

“The chef from Roma.”

My heart sinks. “The one I fired?”

“Yeah. Cops responded to shots fired at his apartment. He left a note saying he’s sorry he hurt the wrong brother, and the guilt was too much to live with.”

I take a moment to absorb what he’s saying. Gio’s shooting was a case of mistaken identity. Gino meant to kill me.

“So, this is my fault.”

I worried I was to blame because I’d let Vinnie into our lives and she’d betrayed us. Now I know it’s a business decision I made that led to my brother being hurt.

“No, fratello. You did what any of us would have done. Nobody could have predicted this would happen.”

Although he’s probably right, I can’t let myself off the hook, not when I was the one who fired the guy. I didn’t take him seriously when he threatened me and when I heard no more about it, I assumed he’d accepted his situation. It’s a damned shame I didn’t know about this a couple of hours ago, before I went to the warehouse.

“Fuck, Vinnie!”

---