“Wait, what?—”
“I’ll need a date. Don’t bother sending a list. Pick whoever looks good, Jack. Aight? I?—”
“You haven’t needed a date in?—”
“I’m aware of how long it’s been, Jackie.”
Needing a date fucked with me. I had to attend The Black Effect, a formal event that celebrated thriving black business owners, created by a local organization called the Motor City Black Business Alliance. The only reason I didn’t decline was because I couldn’t. They were honoring me with an award, and it would be bad business not to show up. Keeping up appearances was important in the Baptiste family. If you were at the head, you had to have someone on your arm at events. It was non-negotiable. Since I’d been in position, if there was an event for me to attend, she was on my arm. I didn’t go out often, but when I did, she was there. For three years straight, I didn’t need a date. Didn’t have to be set up. Hadn’t been set up since high school prom.
Jacqueline was quiet again. I could almost hear the questions swimming around her big ass head. Questions that were better in her head than out of it.
“Well,” Jackie said though a sigh, breaking the awkward silence. “In that case, I really wish you had gone over it when I sent it. Last week. Do you need me to send you email remind?—
“No I do not need you to send me email reminders, Jackie. My phone does a pretty good job already?—"
“Tone sou Tét. Apparently not. It is imperative that we stay on course, Saint.”
It was too early.
Too fuckin’ early. I hadn’t slept. Couldn’t remember the last time I slept a full night... yes I could. I could remember the last time I slept very fucking well. I was next to her and it damn sure wasn’t last night. So yeah, my patience was thin. Too thin to be lectured by my older cousin at seven o’clock in the morning.
Zeroing in on the ceiling, I massaged my temples and closed my eyes. The minute I closed them, I saw her. Every time I closed them, I saw her. I couldn’t escape her. I couldn’t focus. Needed to. But shit. How was I supposed to focus? If I couldn’t sleep? I was losing it. I thought she’d only take the best part of me when she left, but apparently, she took everything.
“Listen. I’ve been a little busy this week and for that, I do apologize. I can assure you that going forward I will be on top of things, aight?”
That silence lingered a little longer before Jacquline finally said something. “Saint?”
“Yeah?”
“You okay? Sick? Should I bring you some bouyon?—?”
I lightly chuckled and shook my head. “Nah, I’m good. I appreciate you and again... I apologize. Going forward, you will get my best.”
“Okay, now. I’m just saying. You’re not sounding like yourself. First you answer my call without manners, tell me you need a date, then you’re apologizing. Seems like you’re all over the place. I’m trying to make sure you’re doing alright. That’s all.. I?—“
“I promise I’m good, Jack,” I interrupted, shaking my head.
“If you say so, I believe you,” she paused. “As far as the date. I’m going to look around and?—“
“Do not send me a list. Pick whoever, Jackie. I mean it.”
I didn’t need to see a list. It would’ve matter who was on it if she wasn’t. I didn’t give a fuck. Whoever I took would be nothing more than an accessory. A nice lil’ arm piece. That was it. The only thing I needed was for her to look good.
“Okay.,” she somberly replied with a sigh. “You know... They doubted you. The elders. They said you would fail. Do you know what happens if you fail? Samuel’s descendants then appears unsuitable. Everything will be handed off to Emu. it will not go down to Blaise. Do you understand what that means? You lose rank. You have no idea what it means to be ranked below where you sit now.”
With that, we ended the call. Tossing the phone aside I interlocked my fingers behind my head and put my eyes back on the ceiling. And there she was... again. Eyes wide open, she was there. Always there. I didn’t need to close my eyes to see her. Somehow, I had to find a balance between living inside of that hazy little illusion, and reality. That’s what I’d been doing. Slipping and living in that fantasy we created five days ago. When I could... in those tiny cracks in time where I was allowed to... I slipped. Slipping was easy, it was finding my way out that was the problem. Shit was warm and peaceful there.
With a deep breath, I shook the thought away and finally sat up on side of the bed. Clasping my hands together, I looked to the floor and moved my head from side to side, to crack my neck. In all the years I’d been fucking, I’d never had a woman do me the way she did. I was completely out of my element. I had to shake back though. I had too much weight to carry as is. As much as I’d love to carry another one hundred and something pounds on my shoulders, I couldn’t. I had to let her go. The promise I made to Jackie was peanuts; I made a promise to the family. I couldn’t drop the ball.
“The meeting with the lawyer on the 24th,” she paused to take a sip of her coffee. “I won’t be… I won’t be able to make it. Is there any way?—“
“Why won’t you be able to make it Tash?” I interrupted, with my head tossed back against the couch, eyes closed, just listening.
We were having our weekly family meeting. After a while, I realized that the easiest way to handle juggling all of the shit I had in my hands would be by giving some of it off to Tasha and Blaise. That was the only way both the family and the business would be taken care of efficiently. There was only so much I could do on my own. The meeting was finally coming to an end but in true Natasha fashion, she stalled and waited until the very end to finally speak up about whatever had her antsy since she walked in the crib. That was the last thing I needed, since Blaise was late, and we didn’t start on time. He had a new bitch.
Ari didn’t like her. She didn’t care for any of the ho’s in his lil’ cult, for real. But there was something about the new one that really got under her skin. She hated shorty and threatened to keep Bebe away from him if he didn’t agree to keep his lifestyle away from their daughter. She was getting older and asked too many questions. The nigga went on about the shit for a good fifteen minutes before we got down to business.
“Um.”