Page 38 of Saint Baptiste 2

Sienna spoke. I chucked my chin. Jahad asked if I needed water. Blaise said something. Another joke. I ignored them. Eventually, they faded to the back. Couldn’t hear them niggas at all. My eyes never left Naoki. They couldn’t. The minute I heard her laugh, she stole every bit of my attention. All of it. As soon as I heard that laugh, I couldn’t hear anything else. I didn’t give a fuck about we had going on. Mercy was back where it belonged—in the pits of fuckin’ hell. Nothing mattered. She was the focus. It was like that. She was like that. She had me gone. I was more out of my body now than I was in that fuckin’ room in Pandora’s.

I couldn’t help but to run my tongue over my bottom lip as my mind was flooded with memories of the last time I ran it along her bottom lips. With a low grunt, I slowly took in the rest of her. She was dressed casually in a pair of black leggings and a tight V-neck shirt that showed just enough titty meat to make my dick swell. The fuck was I talkin’ about? Dick bricked the minute I heard her laugh. On God it was like that. I didn’t need to see her... didn’t need to smell her... didn’t need to touch her... or any of that shit to be aroused by her. All she had to do was ignite one of my senses and I was immediately enthralled. It was just her.

“Hey,” Naoki spoke.

I lightly smiled, nodded and approached her. “Oki. How’ve you been, amou?”

I lowered my eyes to her slender neck and watched as it moved up and down with a swallow. She missed me just as much as I had missed her. I honestly didn’t need to see her swallow to know it. Just put my eyes there because I wanted to see it happen.

“I’ve been,” she responded through a labored breath before pausing. “I’ve been good. You?”

She hadn’t been good. That sadness living in her eyes told me the truth. I wondered if she could see the misery living in mine?

“Miserable,” I honestly answered with my eyes locked on her browns, standing before her.

I wore my heart on my sleeve. I was aight with wearing something other than cufflinks for a change. It suit me well. I didn’t give a fuck anymore. Running and hiding hadn’t done shit but cause ruin. I was done with that. If she wanted to know how I felt, I would tell her the truth. I missed her. Missed her so muthafuckin’ much that instead of trying to fill an unfillable void with useless bitches with mediocre pussy, I laid awake in bed every fucking night, stuck in a daydream. Dreamt with my eyes opened, replaying our last moments together in my mind. Was it weak? Did that make me a pussy? Fuck it. I played the role of a nigga who didn’t give a fuck for far too long. That shit was exhausting. Surrendering... taking the path of least resistance... I enjoyed it more. There wasn’t any turbulence here. Just coasting.

Let a nigga coast.

CHAPTER 9

NAOKI

“Humph,” I grunted, with my eyes locked on his.

I was stuck... locked on the only set of eyes I could ever get stuck in. Against my will of course. Saint’s. I wanted nothing more than to look away. Just… couldn’t. I had been at Sienna’s house for three days and today I run into him. On today of all days. A good ass day. We had just come back from the spa. I was in a good mood. I had a fresh wax. Got a massage, a pedicure, and manicure. Felt like Kiki. Laughed more than I had in… shit, months. Just to walk in and find him. Just to walk in and get lost here. In a place I didn’t need to be. Just for him to take one look at me and see the lie I told about being okay. Just for him to look at me and tell me he’d been miserable when nothing in his actions told me he had been.

“Liar,” I said with a smirk before finally snatching away from that captivating ass gaze.

Saint hadn’t been miserable. Not once had he called me. Not once had he pulled up on me. How long had it been since Pandora’s? I didn’t know. I did. I couldn’t lie here. Couldn’t pretend I hadn’t been counting the days waiting for him to call. Today marked eight. Couldn’t lie like I didn’t take him off the block list to see if he’d even try to call me. I unblocked him the same day I blocked him. My phone hadn’t rung once with a call from him.

How did I feel about that? Useless, of course. How else was I supposed to feel? Did I fault him? No, of course I didn’t fault him. I was supposed to be used. That’s what men did. That’s what girls like me got from men like him. Used and lied to. It was my fault for giving a fuck. My fault for letting my walls down. My fault for falling. I knew I couldn’t fall here. I knew it wasn’t safe to fall but I did. I was stupid.

I turned to leave and as expected, he grabbed me by the arm to stop me from walking away. I snatched away from him and looked up at him like he was crazy. Not for too long, though. I couldn’t. Not because I was afraid of getting stuck there. But because the talk at the river walk had left me fragile as fuck. If he did that thing... if he looked into me the way only he could... I would crumble. It would take next to nothing for me to fucking crumble. And I couldn’t do that. Not now. Not in front of them. Not in front of anybody, but God... I really couldn’t give him the satisfaction of seeing just how much I cared. And I cared so got damn much. I hated that I did. Hated to care more than he did.

“Ki,” Sienna called out. “You o?—“

“She’s good, sis. I got her,” Saint quickly interrupted before I could protest.

“—What?” I snapped. “Nigga?—“

“Please,” he pled. “Five minutes, Oki.”

With a frown, I looked at him. His eyes softened and for some stupid ass reason other than delusion… love delusion… mine did too. He put his hands together and said, “Tanpri.”

“Okay.”

He glanced over his shoulder at everyone before grabbing my hand. I tried again to snatch away but he didn’t let me. He interlocked his fingers with mine and led me out of the office. I followed. Let him lead me out like a fucking idiot. Once we made it out into the hallway, he closed the door behind us. We continued down the hallway in silence. His grip on my hand tightened. Reminded me if the night at Pandora’s. Held on to it in a way that said he never wanted to let go.

“You left.”

“Was I not supposed to?” I asked.

He looked down at me.

I looked up at him. “The sun was rising.”

“Rising. I made it back right before dawn. You left. Fucked me up. Really fucked me up.”

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