Page 53 of Saint Baptiste 2

I mean... leaving, leaving. Not leaving with the intentions to come back. Not leaving because I was running. I was leaving because it was time. And most of the memories I had here were traumatic as hell. I couldn’t grow here. I’d always find myself drowning, no matter how much healing I did. That was a choice I made on my own. After ending things with Chase, I went home, sat at my kitchen island and did some serious thinking. I didn’t want the house. didn’t have any family here... besides Sienna. Just... there was no reason for me to stay. So, I decided to start new someplace else. Not because I wanted to become someone else, but because I wanted a fair chance.

With the corners of my mouth turned up, I shook my head. “Nah. I think it’s best if I don’t. I mean… there is nothing left for either of us to say. I’m honestly ready to just… go. I’m sure he’s sick of my bullshit.”

It was Friday and we were having Ladies Night. On a Friday because tomorrow was Samuel’s funeral. Not the typical Ladies Night. It was just us. On purpose. We were at her house instead of mine. It was being renovated. Just updated to boost the chances of a good sell. Yeah, I decided to let it go. I got it for the wrong reasons anyway.

“Besides, I might get over there, slip and fall on some dick and decide to change my mind,” I joked.

Sienna dragged her top teeth over her bottom lip and lightly smiled. “You know what KiKi? I really don’t think you will.”

I drew back, surprised. “What?” I jokingly sang. “Sienna got faith in a bitch! Okay! Ain’t never believed me when it came to a dick I couldn’t stay off of.”

We laughed together and she shrugged. “Because with Saint, it’s not just dick.. It’s not all toxic. Besides, fuck the niggas. It’s about you. You’re different KiKi. Been different and I’m not talking about in a bad way. Saint brought something out of you. I don’t know what but... he did. The beautiful part about it is the changes you want to make aren’t for anybody but you.”

With my head slightly cocked over to the side, I smiled. Tears grew behind my eyes, and I just looked at my best friend. I mean, really looked at us, together, as a unit. We’d grown so much individually, but together, too. If there was one thing the last few months showed me it was that neither of us were going anywhere. The only thing that could separate us was death. And even then... a bitch would probably jump in the casket with her. It had always been KiKi and SiSi. She was such a huge blessing in my life. Like, God gave me her and her family when I didn’t have my own. She was truly the yin to my yang. We were literally night and day, but we worked. We’ve always worked.

“I’m going to miss you, Si,” I sadly said. “I mean... I’m really going to fucking miss you.”

She stuck her bottom lip out and reached over to hug me. I wrapped my arms around her in return. “You act like we can’t hop on planes, bitch. We got money!”

I laughed. “I know. Still.” Swiping a tear from my eye I shrugged. “I’m really about to be alone out there?—”

“I thought we were working on changing your language. You’re never alone, Ki. As long as you got me.... you’re never alone. And even then.” she paused and winked. “We’re never truly alone. Like... ever. There is always?—”

“I know, I know,” I interrupted. “I’ve been trying not to think about that. I do not want to be playing in my pussy thinking about angels watch?—”

“Alright bitch!” She quickly cut me off with a laugh. “Only you!”

“I know,” I smirked. “Seriously, though... I’m trying Si. I’m really trying. It’s hard. Sometimes I forget.”

“That’s alright. When you forget, I’ll be here to remind you,” She winked. “Changing your mindset will just take some time. That’s all,” She told me with a shrug. “Who we are... that didn’t happen overnight. We learn. You just have to unlearn and learn again.”

I nodded and tossed my head back against the couch cushion, letting it all sink in. “So basically, this is my rebirth.”

“That’s exactly what it is, boo. The rebirth.”

“Naoki 2.0,” I stated with a laugh.

“2.0! Period, bitch!” she yelled. “I can’t wait to meet her!”

I sat up and looked over at her with a smile. I couldn’t believe I was afraid of showing her ‘me’. I couldn’t believe I had made her out to be one of them. A basic bitch who only loved that ‘fun’ part of me. Sienna wasn’t that. She wasn’t like them. We had gone through so much together. Had I been paying attention, I would have realized that she had already embraced every part of me. The problem was, I hadn’t learned to embrace me.

“I can’t wait neither,” I said through a smile.

Naoki 2.0. The rebirth.

“Heyyy,” Sage sang as we embraced. “I’m still setting up. You came early as hell.”

The next day, I woke up and decided that today would be the day that I jumpstarted the rebirth. In order to become a new bitch—no... a better bitch. Better woman. I first had to pick the weeds. Couldn’t blossom into the beautiful sunflower I wanted to be with weeds in my garden.

We pulled away from the hug and I looked around for my nephew. “I know. Where is Jordan?”

She giggled and waved me off. “With his other grandma. Shit, this is an adults only party.”

I squinted and pulled my lips into my mouth to keep my emotions in check. “Oh.”

But, she wanted to bring him to Ladies Night though?

“Momma is going to be so happy to see you,” Sage said with a smile, as she busied around her house, setting up for the party. His Welcome Home party. Mr. Bill’s. William’s. The one she just had to invite me to.

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