Page 58 of Saint Baptiste 2

Less than a minute later, I was outside on the pavement, waiting. Think she could tell how excited I was to see her? Nah. Hell nah. Probably not. I brushed my hand over the top of my head and walked over to greet her at her car.

She got out and immediately stated to apologize about shit that didn’t matter.

“Do you have company? I should have called first I?—”

“You didn’t need to call,” I interrupted. “Company? I do now.”

She pulled her lips into her mouth and nodded. “Hi.”

I lightly chuckled. “Wassup, cheri?”

Without notice, she immediately wrapped her arms around me, and caught me off guard. Kept me stuck a little. Took a couple of seconds for me to settle, with her in my arms...because She wanted to be there. Not because I’d forced her to be.

It didn’t take long for that scent to ignite my senses. Decided not to read too much into it though. Couldn’t assume that just because she had it on, that she connected the scent with me. Maybe it was her favorite too. But then again... maybe it was what I thought. Shit. I was just that out of my body about shorty. Felt like a little ass kid. Had never in my life experienced anything like this before. Accepting what I felt. I mean... leaning all the way in it, without the reservations of looking like a bitch. Fuck it. If expressing what I felt made me a bitch... I’d be a bitch. I didn’t give a fuck about any of that shit. That’s not what I felt like though. Not at all.

If I could put the feeling into the perfect set of words, I would describe it as running through the field as a young nigga around six, during recess, without a care in the world. Excited, with that freedom to just be. Didn’t have to worry about shit. There, I didn’t have to worry about my smile being too wide.

School was freedom.

Coasting was freedom.

Let a nigga coast.

“I’ve wanted to do that for days,” she said through a deep breath. “Since Sienna told me, all I could think about was doing this.”

Condolences. She pulled up on me to offer condolences.

Could have complained about it not being what I would have loved for it to be. Realization. A revelation. Time. But it wasn’t that. So, it wasn’t that. In the back of my mind, I heard Jah. Heard his short speech about some shit requiring more patience than others. I wanted to believe that was true. But, as time continued to pass without what I needed, the more I began to believe that a nigga would have to settle. Not for anyone else. But for that illusion. Would rather do that for the rest of my life than to settle with a bitch.

Shit was smooth there. Shit was perfect there.

She pulled away from the hug, and I nodded. “’Preciate you driving all the way out here to hug me at one o’clock in the morning, shorty. It couldn’t wait ‘til morning?”

The only problem I had was her driving out here after midnight. We didn’t live next door to one another. The drive from her place to mine was a good twenty-five, thirty minutes. Didn’t give a fuck about not getting a courtesy call. She didn’t need to give me one of those. I understood why she thought she needed to. But... there was a shift and the shit I used to care about... stopped caring about most of it a while ago.

She sucked her teeth and playfully rolled her eyes. “I didn’t drive all the way out here at one in the morning just to give you a hug. And... no, it couldn’t wait until the morning.” Her face softened and something in her eyes changed. “Can we talk? If you were getting ready to go to bed, I can leave. I mean... I know you probably don’t even have time for?—”

“We can talk, Naoki,” I interrupted before grabbing her hand to lead her into the house.

Five minutes later, we were in the living room. We were seated on the sectional, in the very spot I ate her pussy in the last time she was here. Tried not to think about it... but I couldn’t help it. Even fully clothed in pajamas and fluffy house shoes, she was appetizing. She was right beside me. I wondered if it’d crossed her mind, too.

The thing she wanted to talk about, she had yet to mention. I didn’t push her. Just sat beside her, waiting. Didn’t watch her. Couldn’t. Whatever she wanted, was heavy. I wanted to give her space to be free and vulnerable. And me, with my eyes on her, always made her go scrabbling for them walls. Well, not always. Mostly. However, tonight didn’t feel like a night that she’d let me in. So, I stayed out.

Fridayy, When It Comes to You, played at a low level from the speakers. Couldn’t imagine sitting in silence again. The last time we did that, the silence was suffocating. At least now, we had a lil’ background noise to fill the space.

“How’ve you been, Oki?” I asked, deciding to be the one to break the ice.

Whatever prompted her to drive twenty-five minutes at one o’clock in the morning wasn’t easy for her to talk about. I could feel the hesitation radiating off her skin.

Finally she turned to face me. “Miserable.”

Our eyes met and I said, “Humph... You too, huh, amou?”

She nodded. “Mmhmm,” she mumbled.

Resistance was thick and heavy in the air. Between the both of us. It didn’t take long for either of us to give into it though. She surrendered to that vulnerability and cried, and I gave into the urge I had to grab her since we sat down. Pulled her into my arms and held her. The same way I’d held her every chance I got since Pandora’s. In a way that said I didn’t want to let go. I wondered if she knew. Wondered if she could feel just how much I didn’t want to let go. If she knew... if she could translate it through the way I held her, then she had to know... and if she knew, she understood just how hard it had been for me to let her be.

For me to give her time and space. For me to leave her in that fuckin’ building with another nigga. For me to allow time to do what I needed time to do. Bring her back to me. The right way. When what I really could’ve done was the opposite. Could’ve used the power I knew I had over her. Even with her resistance, I knew what I was capable of. I could break down walls and force her out of boxes. I could see her.

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