Page 44 of Saint Baptiste 2

CHAPTER 10

SAINT

One month later

“Keep me updated,” I said into the phone.

“You know I will,” Tasha reassured with a sigh. “Are you still coming over tomorrow?”

“Yeah,” I said before shifting my car into park. “Of course. I’ll be there around ten. How’s ma?”

Samuel was transitioning and had been for weeks. However, the last few days had been the roughest. On all of us. Well, not all of us. Jah’s feelings toward it hadn’t changed and they wouldn’t. Since the sit down with Jah, the way I felt about everything had indeed shifted. To be honest, the only person I gave a fuck about in this whole process was my ma. She was the one who would hurt the most. If there was ever a reason I would want him to come around it would be for her—not Samuel. But, I refused to revisit a dead conversation with the nigga. The only place that could go was left. But, I’d be lying if I said her asking for him every day didn’t fuck with me. That shit ate at me.

“The same. She’s been in the room all day.”

I brushed my hand over the top of my head and hit the send button. Leaning my head back against the headrest, I sighed. “Aight. Make sure she eats, Tasha.”

“I will,” She paused and took a deep breath. “Listen, fré... Try to have a little fun, alright? And be nice.”

I grunted and shifted my eyes up at the two-story house I was parked in front of. I would be nice. Didn’t have any choice but to be. The fun shit? Nah, I couldn’t imagine that happening.

“Yeah, I hear you,” I responded, brushing my head over my waves. Love you, sé.”

She sighed. “Love you too, fré. Call me when it’s over.”

It was the night of The Black Effect event, and I was picking my date up. Her name was Dion, and I didn’t know shit about her. The only thing I did know was that she was nice looking and knew how to carry herself. The agency Jacqueline found her through was very distinguished. The ‘escorts’ at ‘The Colony’ went through a vigorous screening process. They took etiquette classes and shit like that. That was good enough for me. I skimmed through the profile a little, took a away a few key details, and that was it. As long as she was classy, I was cool. The only purpose she would play for me would be that of an accessory. A nice ass lil’ cufflink. That was it. Nothing more nothing less.

The event started at seven. I was scheduled to pick her up then and pulled up ten minutes early. Baptiste men had a reputation for chivalry and charm. So, despite not wanting to do any of this shit, I played the role. I always played the role, didn’t I? Against my will with a fucking smile. Would rather be Saint Baptiste with her. Would have rather pulled up with her on my arm as my date. She wouldn’t have been an accessory. She would’ve been mine. I would’ve been proud to wear her. She?—

I was tweaking.

Naoki was still in the front of my fuckin’ mind. The last time I saw her was at Jah’s house a little over a month ago. I told her how I felt, she received it how I expected her to receive it and I walked away... with a ton of hope and a little less pride. Fuck it. I said I was wearing my heart on my sleeve from now on, didn’t I? Fuck pride.

There wasn’t a day that went by that I didn’t think of her, however, today she’d been on my mind a lot more than usual. All day she was there… lingering. I faced about five blunts trying to chill. But... I couldn’t. Tonight was a reminder of just how far I’d fallen off. I had a limitless amount of money sitting in my bank account. Thriving businesses. Was in good health. But, I fell off. Fell off because I had to go out and get a fuckin’ date. I had nothing against arranged dating. In my opinion it was convenient, and genius. Perfect for niggas like Blaise and Simon. Sad for men like me.

I took a deep breath and got out of the car, deciding I’d spent enough time wallowing. I wouldn’t be the best Baptiste I could be if I sat in this bitch full of regret, now would I? I couldn’t disappoint the family, could I?

I climbed the stairs, knocked on the door, and waited... full of nothing. I didn’t anticipate the smell of her perfume. Wasn’t excited to see what she would look like in her dress. Didn’t give a fuck about ‘stealing pieces of her’ through wavering eye contact. I just... stood there and waited. Bored out of my muthafuckin mind.

I flicked my wrist to check the time. 6:55PM. A couple of seconds later, she opened the door, and I was greeted with a big smile.

“Good evening,” I greeted with my hand extended. “Saint Baptiste.”

She looked up at me with a smile. She was straight. Shit, a nigga was in his feelings a lil’ bit. I couldn’t front. Shorty was more than straight; she was beautiful with deep dark chocolate skin and slanted brown eyes that all but closed when her full pouty lips curled up into a smile. If I had a preference outside of anybody other than Naoki, Dion would have worked. She would have worked very well.

“Good evening, Mr. Baptiste,” She placed her dainty hand in mine, and I shook it. “Dior.”

I nodded and led her to my car.

She was beautiful. However, she wasn’t her. Dion didn’t have that walk. She smelled nice. Too fruity. Childish almost. She didn’t have a scent that would be cemented into my memory at the end of the night. I didn’t get lost in her eyes. Didn’t want to stay there to steal bits and pieces of her. There was no mystery. She didn’t have feeble walls to maneuver around. She was beautiful. But beautiful, only.

I really, truly didn’t want to compare. However, that’s what I did. That’s all I’d done for thirty-six days. I compared. I waited, patiently, and compared. When the silence at home was too loud, when I was tired of sitting alone in misery, stuck inside of a fantasy I’d never be able to live out again, I posted up at bars, and people watched, compared, and suffered. While the rest of the world carried on without me, I suffered. That wasn’t me. That wasn’t how Saint Baptiste rocked. But shit... that’s who I’d turned into. That’s what she did to me. I didn’t want to think about her. Hated thinking about her ass.

But damn I loved it.

I could sit up all night thinking about her,

Getting lost in the thought of her was my favorite thing to do.

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