I swirl the liquid in my glass, wondering how much to say. Tegan and I are close, but I’ve always held back talking to her about my issues with Oliver. Ever since the end of Year 12 when he wanted to take a break and she became captain of team ‘I-hate-Oliver’.
Suddenly, I regret calling. I don’t want to make this a big deal. With Tegan everything is always a big deal. “Oh, I’m being silly. It’s nothing. How’s your weekend? Are you up to anything fun tonight?”
“Mia! You can’t call me and ask me a question like that, and then claim it’s nothing. Spill the beans! Or else!”
I sigh. Nothing for it. “I think it’s just a case of cold feet.”
“Mmmm.” Tegan’s tone is low and serious and I almost wish she’d joke about this. “What’s he done?”
“No. Nothing. It’s probably just me. It’s just that he’s been so busy lately and then we talked on the phone just now, and it occurred to me we don’t even say I love you anymore. Isn’t that weird?”
In a rush, all my little niggling fears come spilling out. All the nights Oliver worked late and the times he was too busy to do things with me on the weekends. The way he doesn’t seem very interested in planning the wedding and the way he hardly ever talks to me when we’re home together. Tegan listens quietly until I’m done.
“But it’s not like I’ve been that excited about planning the wedding either, you know? We’re both just tired.”
“Hmmm,” Tegan says again. “Maybe it’s your heart telling you this is all wrong.”
I knew she’d do this. “Or maybe I just don’t want to plan a wedding and we should just elope!”
Rather than laugh, Tegan is silent for a long moment. “And he’s been working late a lot?”
“Yeah.”
“And you’re sure he’s at the office the whole time?”
I pause. I mean, I assume that’s where he’s been. Except when I know he’s been visiting with witnesses or dining with clients. “Well, not every time.”
“Hmmm.”
OK, I’m getting a little sick of that little noise. “What?”
“Well, it’s just that these would be the classic signs of a guy who was up to no good.”
My mouth falls open and I have to put down my glass of wine before I spill it. “No.” I’m shaking my head even though she can’t see me. “Not Oliver. There’s no way he’s cheating. It’s just not him. Besides, he hasn’t even wanted to have sex recently...”
Then I hear myself.
For a really long moment neither Tegan nor I say anything at all. There’s a whirring in my ears and my head spins while I try to stop all those little fears from doing a victory dance in my brain. “Do you...do you think he’s cheating?”
The question hangs in the air between us for another few seconds. Tegan says nothing.
“He was very persistent asking me when I was coming home...” I say.
Another pause.
“And it’s weird that he would work today as well...”
Tegan’s voice is suddenly loud on the other end of the phone. “I’m going to go find out!”
“What?” I launch out of my chair, knocking the pizza box to the floor. “You can’t do that! What are you going to do? Ask him?”
“No. But I’m going round there. I still have your key after I house sat for you guys.”
“No! You can’t.”
“Oh, yes, I can.”
“Tegan!”