Page 162 of Love Unwritten

My next step is unsteady. “I’m your boss.”

“What if you weren’t anymore?”

I look over my shoulder. “That’s not an option.”

“What if it was?” She drags her eyes down my body, lingering on the area throbbing with need.

A flush of warmth spreads through my body before I shake my head. “It isn’t.” And neither is she.

“I can’t be his nanny forever.” Something flickers in her eyes, but I can’t make sense of it.

The idea of her walking away—of her leaving—is unbearable, and not only because it would affect Nico. I want her to stay, even if it means putting my own needs aside to keep her.

I’m not sure how long we can keep this platonic sham of a relationship going, but I just need her to give me time.

Time to sort through my issues.

Time to figure out what I want in life and who I really am.

But most of all, time to come to grips with the idea of not only letting my walls down but also the possibility of opening up my heart.

I never thought I could fall in love with someone after everything that happened with my marriage. Never even entertained the idea.

I was ready to spend the rest of my life raising my son alone, but throughout this vacation, I’ve been put in situations that have me questioning my stance. Ones that make me wonder if a life of solitude is really what I want after all. Sure, it is the safe choice, but it is also the loneliest one.

Nico keeps me company, and my family is a huge presence in my life, but I’m starting to wonder if that will be enough.

“Rafa?” Ellie asks.

“Just…give me time.”

She looks at me with an expression I can’t quite place.

“Please, Elle?”

She glances away and nods.

I should be relieved, but something about the look on her face makes me question just how much time I have left.

The next morning, I wake up to find Nico already dressed in his swimsuit for today’s snorkeling trip. Neither he nor Ellie have noticed me yet, so I watch her rubbing sunscreen onto his skin with a grin.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come?” he asks.

Her smile falters. “Yup.”

The strain in her voice makes me pause.

“But you love sea turtles,” he whines.

“I know.” Her long exhale adds to my growing suspicion.

“Then why won’t you come?”

She stays quiet as I walk into the living room.

“Do you want to join us?” I ask.

Her eyes fall to her lap. “I can’t.”

---