Page 82 of Our Radiant Embers

Adam didn’t immediately respond. “You’re one of the smartest people I know. Me, I’m…I’ve always been more interested in the practice than in the theory. I got good grades, yeah, but I had to work for them.”

“Stop selling yourself short,” I told him. “You’re smart.”

”Not compared to Gale. Or you.”

”You are,” I insisted. “Also, you’re people-smart. Like, you get people in a way I don’t. Frankly, you like people in a way I don’t.”

“Most people,” he corrected with a quirk of a grin. “I didn’t like you very much, for a while there.”

I shot him a full smile. “Oh, honey—it was mutual.”

“The sex was good, though,” he said thoughtfully, an impish gleam in his eyes. For a fragmented second, my mind flashed to the two of us on my bed, his magic caressing my inner thighs. I’d already liked him then.

“Or maybe your standards are low.” I didn’t quite achieve the deadpan tone I aimed for.

“Burn.” He brought a hand to his chest. “I was educated by the best of what the porn industry had to offer, just so we’re clear.”

“Thought you prefer the practice?”

His quiet laugh dissolved the tension that stretched between us. “Beggars can’t be choosers.”

“If you walk into a gay bar looking like that?” I indicated his general being. “Trust me—lack of choice will be the least of your problems.”

“I have,” he said. “A couple of times. Only, you know, sticking to the shadows and hiding my face. Could hardly be open about it, right? Just, though…I don’t think it’s really my scene. Grinding up against strangers in the dark, music so loud you have to shout at each other.”

“People aren’t really there for the stellar conversation,” I said.

“Yeah.” He studied me, fingers absently playing with his fork. “So that’s what you do, then? Hit a bar, find some guy to hook up with?”

“Not in a while.” This felt dangerous—too raw, too close to how I hadn’t even thought about anyone else since that day in his office. “Been rather busy, as you know.”

He nodded slowly, a twist to the curve of his mouth that I couldn’t quite read. “Yeah, I guess we both have been. It won’t always be like this, though. Things should settle down for us once construction is really underway, so you’ll have more time.”

“I wasn’t complaining,” I told him gently.

His eyes found mine. “So you don’t miss it?”

“No.”

He didn’t reply—just looked at me as though he’d run out of words.

I glanced away first. Took another sip of coffee and let my gaze drift to the horizon even as my attention stayed with Adam. The brightest thing in my mind, always.

* * *

We went for a lunchtime run along the shoreline to get in some movement. The boat tour started at four, the sea a canvas of shimmering silk as we left the harbour. Ten minutes later, we reached a sheltered river, home to a colony of seals in an unusual array of coppers and browns. They were basking on the mudflats or feeding on fish—a tough life, clearly, but someone had to live it.

“Excuse you,” Adam said when I shared the thought, laughter swinging in his voice. “Cassandra made me work hard for this body. I’m not going to envy a bunch of floppy, blubbery water creatures just because they get to lounge in the mud all day.”

All right, that was fair.

After the tour, we wandered around the harbour area, weekend visitors and art stalls creating a lively vibe. Many of the wares were geared towards tourists like us, London escapees who might fall prey to impulse purchases in the form of kitschy sunset depictions and hand-painted tea mugs with seagulls perched on the handles. A tiny dog in a life jacket was barking at the waves while a street musician serenaded a small crowd that included a lobster held aloft from a seafood stall.

At one of the booths, Adam deliberated over a simple, elegant leather bracelet. I talked him out of it only to double back when he was taking a pee. It didn’t occur to me until halfway through our dinner at a low-key Italian place, the bracelet weighing in my pocket, that I’d never done anything like this for my exes. I’d never wanted to.

For an instant only, the aroma of garlic and tomatoes turned my stomach. Then everything settled.

Okay. Okay. I was done fighting this.

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