Page 125 of Our Radiant Embers

“Come on,” I managed. The words damn near caught in my throat, but I could blame it on the sweet twist of his fingers inside me. Choking on arousal rather than the raw, aching mess of my emotions. “I’m ready.”

Liam exhaled warm air over the tip of my cock. “But where’s my engraved invitation?” he asked then, a smile colouring his voice.

I needed a moment to place the words. Oh—my office, so many weeks ago, a lifetime ago. Me on my knees, Liam looking down at me with a smug curl to the corners of his mouth. ‘Are you waiting for an engraved invitation?’ he’d asked, and I’d wanted him to choke on his arrogance.

Not anymore. But I still wanted him to look at me like I was all he could see.

“Baby,” I said. “You’re on the ‘always welcome’ list.”

A true lie, disguised as a joke. We didn’t have forever.

Something might have shown in my tone because he stilled for a beat, features veiled by the dim light. Don’t let on. I drew him up for a harsh kiss, his fingers slipping out of me as our mouths caught. My focus narrowed to hot breath and the slick glide of our tongues, to Liam, this, us.

When he pushed into me, I almost wished it would hurt. It didn’t, though—not physically. He’d prepped me too well and I’d grown used to the way our bodies fit together. So I clung to him instead, my fingers digging into his shoulders and my legs wrapped around his waist, holding on like we stood a chance.

Soft gasps and deep kisses. Shadows pressed in on us, the summer night heavy with the nauseatingly sweet scent of blossoms, or maybe that was all in my mind. Each thrust brought us closer to an end that only I could see, time running out when he was all I’d ever wanted for myself. It wasn’t fucking fair, was it? But such was the fucking tragedy of reality landing a punch that had me just about down for the count because somehow, somehow, I’d convinced myself I could have this. What a bloody fool I’d been.

I was a Harrington. My life had never been mine.

“Hey.” Liam’s lips brushed the corner of my mouth and brought me back to the present. His voice was low. “You with me?”

My rib cage was an open wound, but I smiled through it. “Of course. Always, if I could.”

“I’m going to hold you to that,” he said.

I love you.

“See that you do,” I told him, light and easy when my heart was anything but. Words felt dangerous right now, everything too close to the surface, so I clenched around him and swallowed his groan. I made to circle my own cock just as he reached between us as well, our fingers bumping before they slotted together, his still slick with lube.

Notes I would never write got tangled up in my head—you’re my first thought in the morning and my last thought at night and I’m only truly me when I’m with you and you’re the realest thing I’ve ever felt. I stayed silent and dug my nails into his skin. Something to remember me by.

Too soon, liquid heat coiled at the base of my spine. No. Not yet. I wasn’t ready for the end, and so I forced our joined hands away from my cock. Above me, Liam stilled, buried deep inside of me.

“What’s wrong?” His question came with a breathless edge, faint traces of moonlight catching in his voice and hair.

“Nothing.” Everything. “Just…” I cupped a hand around his jaw. “Want you to come first—fill me up. Give me something real.”

I hadn’t meant to say that last part. For a moment, Liam didn’t move. Then he curved down to claim my mouth just as he withdrew nearly all the way—and pushed back in, hard enough to make me slide up the bed a little. I raised my hips and met his next thrust and the one after, our kisses growing shallow and sloppy until we were simply sharing breath, gasping with each twist of his hips.

My eyes stung.

I love you.

For a single heartbeat, we were a universe.

Then he came apart in my arms, our bodies pressed together, his muscles trembling as I held him through the aftershocks. I didn’t want to follow him down. I wanted to stay balanced on the edge of this sweet, raw ache, defying gravity, only Liam didn’t know that, couldn’t know that, couldn’t know why, so he brought a hand between us and worked my cock with quick, short strokes, just how I liked it because he knew me.

He knew me. If he asked me to stay, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to leave.

I squeezed my eyes shut and sought his mouth for a kiss that silenced all the words I couldn’t say. Shadows wrapped me up as I finally shattered, his taste on my tongue and his hands in my hair. I love you so fucking much. Oh God.

Tomorrow, he might come to hate me.

But not tonight. Tonight, he snuck out of his bedroom to get a warm, damp cloth, then cleaned me up with gentle care, oblivious to the way it made my throat close up. He dropped off soon after, one arm slung over my chest like it was any other night. I counted his breaths until the darkness behind my lids threatened to overwhelm me, pinpricks of pressure that I fought until I couldn’t.

I didn’t sleep as now turned into never again.

23

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