Page 127 of Our Radiant Embers

Too bitter.

“Honestly.” Across from me, Nan Jean shook her head. “The way that boy looked at you, I’m surprised he knew how to walk away.”

I waited for the sick flutter in my chest to subside. “He was never going to choose me over his family.”

“I’m not so sure about that,” she said, her clear gaze resting on me. I looked away and shrugged. Passing by behind me, my dad touched my shoulder, a quietly supportive shadow.

The sunny day stood in stark contrast to the bleakness in my mind. ‘Fuck you.’ I’d sent it over two hours ago, and still there was no response—but then I hadn’t expected one. Reality felt washed out around the edges, a constant weight in my lungs as though there wasn’t enough air in the world to fill it, thoughts scattered like dust motes. I ate a few tasteless bites of egg mostly to appease my family.

“Do you want to tell them about the gala?” I asked Laurie, a topic change so transparent I expected to be called on it. No one did, which meant I looked about as terrible as I felt. After a second’s delay, Laurie jumped into a lively description of Summers’ manor and the gathered bigwigs.

“And then”—she paused for drama—“Gale and I ran into Jasper Ashton and his sister. Delightful human beings, wish I could marry them both.” She shot me a covert glance right after. Rather than rat her out for going off on her own, I tried for a tiny smile that weighed a ton before I focused on my coffee.

That had been the moment, hadn’t it? The moment when Adam had decided to leave me.

Yeah, he’d been the one to suggest we sneak away. But I knew him, and I knew his nightmares. Gale, caught out on his own without Adam to defend him, was one of them. Adam would do whatever it took, remove whatever distractions necessary, to ensure it didn’t happen again.

And I was a distraction.

After breakfast, I retreated to my room and lay down on my bed, staring at the ceiling until its marred spots began to blur in front of my eyes. I wasn’t sure how long I’d been there when Laurie came in without knocking and threw herself down next to me, hugging me around the middle. She didn’t say a word, just held on, and I wasn’t sure why it had me blinking back tears.

“I’m in love with him, you know?” It barely sounded like my voice, too frayed and thin.

“I know.” Laurie rested her head on my shoulder, her words thick. “I’m sorry for…I just wanted to see the greenhouse. But I think it triggered this, and…And I should have been more responsible. I guess actions have consequences.”

“It’s okay.” It wasn’t, but none of that was her fault—not really. I wrapped my own arms around her shoulders and closed my eyes. “It would have happened sooner or later. I guess this is sooner.”

“It’s not fair,” she whispered, and I managed a wet laugh.

“No. But that’s life, Shortcake.”

“I refuse to accept that.” In spite of the words, she sounded sad rather than combative. I tightened my arms around her and stayed silent.

* * *

I spent the afternoon with George, sharing just enough to fill him in, before I asked him to tell me about his girl.

“You sure you want to hear this?” he asked, concern clouding his face. “I mean, right now?”

“Yeah. I could use a reminder that it doesn’t have to feel like…” Like getting my intestines removed without anaesthesia. I cleared my throat. “That it doesn’t have to be heavy.”

He pressed his lips together, studying me for a few beats before he nodded. “All right.”

And so I followed him around his family’s herb garden while he talked, something soothing in the rhythm of his voice and the way he moved between plants. The fresh, spicy aromas of oregano and rosemary and thyme wrapped around us. With my earth magic now strong enough to rival his, I felt the plants in a way I hadn’t before, could sense which one needed water or better drainage. I kept it to myself, my grandmother’s instructions to tell no one too deeply ingrained in me.

Yet somehow, Adam had crashed right through all my walls.

Later, I went for an evening run—slow loops through a nearby park as I cast my magic out like a net and lost myself in the rush of incoming impressions. The faint crackle of latent heat emanating from sun-warmed stones. Invisible footpaths of thermal currents that guided birds in flight. The subtle energy of a perennial’s roots as they wove deeper into the soil.

I returned home and found Cassandra at our kitchen table. As soon as I entered, Jack made himself scarce, open relief on his face. Et tu, Brute?

Sweaty and tired, dressed in a pair of shorts and a sleeveless running top, I was the polar opposite to her prim silk blouse and perfect hair. My capacity for giving a fuck was exhausted, so I walked right past her to get a glass of water from the sink. “Cassandra. What brings you here?”

“I thought we had an understanding.” Her voice was sharp enough to cut glass, and God, I wasn’t up for a verbal sparring session. I’d lose anyway.

I chugged some water before I sighed and levelled her with a flat look. “Yeah, we did. Make your point, Cassandra—I’m not in the mood for beating around the bush.”

“Good.” She returned my stare. “We agreed that his happiness comes first. So why the hell did you walk away from him?”

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