Page 95 of Our Radiant Embers

A nauseating kind of softness washed through me. I sat down on the edge of my mattress, staring down at the words, rereading them. They slid into the empty gaps between my ribs, a heaviness to them, my throat tight as I imagined Adam writing this message and slipping it into my bag so I’d find it later.

‘That’s on me, and I’m sorry.’

I didn’t want him to be sorry. I wanted him here, right here, so I could look him in the eye and tell him he was worth it. My pride didn’t matter—I wanted him for as long as I could have him. I dug out my phone to call him, then remembered that he’d still be stuck at the dinner hosted in his honour. Even if he picked up, he wouldn’t be able to talk freely.

Typing a message was not the same, so I locked my phone and set it on the bedside table.

I’d see him tomorrow.

18

ADAM

Building things had brought my family into power. Oh, we dabbled in related areas, but ask anyone what we did? The answer would be construction. It was our brand ever since an ancestor had brought the sweeping iron-and-steel structure of the Crystal Palace to fruition.

As such, I was used to the sight of hard hats and clipboards, to portable toilets and safety footwear. The residential area of the Green Horizon Initiative was not so different, if larger in scale than anything I’d publicly fronted before. Now that the ground had settled, earth mages were gearing up to stabilise the soil before construction would start in earnest.

Gale had arrived just before me, already in a discussion with the site manager as I walked up. The man, a wiry guy in his late forties with a take-no-prisoners attitude, had worked for us before. He greeted me with a respectful nod, yet none of the nervous deference I detected on the faces of some men and women who’d witnessed me clearing this very site just under a week ago. Many people enjoyed the theory of watching a Nova in action while the practice turned weaker stomachs.

As Gale and the site manager wrapped up their discussion, I reminded the man about CDM Regulations just as Liam joined us, drawing up next to me. Even just looking at him hurt a little. He seemed tired too, muted light catching the shadows under his eyes, but the smile he shot me was genuine. I smiled back and wished I could touch him.

God.

“How was the party?” he asked once the site manager strode off to assemble his crew.

I glanced around to make sure no one other than Gale could hear us. “About as fun as expected.”

“That bad, huh?”

Three people asking Cassandra and me when we’d get married. Her father delivering a speech about the virtue of strong alliances. Christian joking about how our social gatherings may soon turn into live episodes of Guess Who Isn’t Pregnant?

I lowered my voice. “It would have been far more bearable with you there.”

Gale’s attention flicked from me to Liam and then back to me with a tiny smile. I’d had very little unobserved time with him since my return, just enough to tell him that yes, something had happened, but no, I wasn’t sure what it meant. (A lot. A lot.) We’d arrived separately because he’d stay to oversee this site, so I also hadn’t asked him yet about the idea of someone’s magic growing stronger during adulthood.

“Hey, well.” Liam lifted one shoulder, his eyes soft. “I did invite you to have dinner with my family. Not my fault you preferred the shark tank.”

“Since when does it matter what I prefer?” It came out rather bitter. Liam raised a hand as though to touch my shoulder, seemed to remember our audience, and combed back his own hair instead.

“And here I thought...” He stopped for a glance at Gale, who shot him a quirked grin. I tilted my head at Liam to continue. “And here I thought,” he repeated, “that the weekend was all about exploring your preferences.”

“Should I leave?” Gale asked, voice wryly amused, and I liked that he was comfortable enough with Liam to be just a tad cheeky. I liked that Liam fit.

I couldn’t afford to think in those terms.

“Nah,” Liam said. “This is about as explicit as it’s going to get.”

“Oh.” I let the corners of my mouth tilt down. “Now that’s disappointing.”

“Well,” Liam said with a wave at our surroundings. “People, yeah?”

Right, yeah. We weren’t alone anymore.

Had he found my note? Briefly, our eyes met, and something about the way he inclined his head told me that yes, he had. I’m sorry.

It was Gale who steered the discussion towards what we were actually here for, namely the status and plan for the site. We’d start by laying the base for the underground car park, the waste recycling chamber, and the energy tower that rooted deep in the soil. The rest of the site would spiral out from there, a puzzle that was clear in Gale’s mind. Thinking in three dimensions came easily to him, always had—even when we’d been younger, he’d effortlessly beaten Christian and me at Jenga, never the one who made the tower of wooden blocks collapse.

In addition, this area was his baby. He’d worked with other architects, of course, but the overarching vision was his. For all that my brother was the quiet type, he held strong opinions on aesthetics and construction quality. I saw no issue with leaving the oversight of this area largely to him.

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