Page 54 of Margins

“I am, yeah. Promise. See you there?”

There’s a moment in which Alex wonders whether Elijah will steal a quick kiss before he turns away, but just as with his hand, he never gets quite close enough, and this time Alex is sure it’s better this way. His entire body tingles with all the ways he wants to be touched, and there’s no reason for him to get a hint of that relief now.

When they close Elijah’s front door behind them though, relief happens everywhere, all at once, even while Alex just wants and wants and wants and can’t begin to know how to chase each new thing.

“You should’ve never come to the bar tonight,” Elijah says, his mouth hot at Alex’s neck, Alex’s body slammed tight against the door. “I just wanted to quit my job and do this instead.”

“Glad you didn’t quit. And now you’ve got all night to do this.”

“Gonna make me do all the work?” Elijah teases.

Alex’s hand fists around Elijah’s hair until he can tug him away and kiss him, splitting the difference between reverent and obscene in a way he wouldn’t have thought possible. Elijah’s hands seem to land in one place, then another, and another, Alex distracted with the need for him to stay still, even while he wants Elijah to keep moving.

Alex scrapes his teeth against Elijah’s lower lip. “Fuck, I—I still don’t really know what I’m doing. I’ve touched you, but that wasn’t—you knew, but I—I’m gonna need—”

“Patience.”

“Yeah.”

“We’re doing a terrible job with that right now.”

“Yeah,” Alex whimpers, Elijah’s thigh so solid and exactly where he didn’t know he needed it to be.

“Can I take you to my bedroom?”

It means all of this will stop long enough for them to move away from the door and down the short hallway, but there’s a bed there, and maybe no need for clothes, and Elijah will be so damn patient, and Alex will learn. In the end, he supposes the question is entirely rhetorical, but he answers anyway.

“Please.”

They don’t end up letting go of each other all that well, which has them tripping over Poe a little, and apologizing with loads of promises of long walks and treats in the morning, but they make it into Elijah’s room and Alex is pushed against that door too, Elijah so much gentler this time around. He leans in for a kiss, slow enough for the rhythm of it to carry Alex far, far away, only to bring him back when Elijah’s fingers catch the hem of Alex’s sweater and he begins to pull it over his head. Once it’s gone, Elijah’s lips crawl along Alex’s jawline, his breath warm at Alex’s ear.

“Now it’s your turn,” he murmurs.

Alex nods when their heads are still close enough for him to feel the scrape of Elijah’s cheek against his, and he shivers with it, taking another second or two before he manages to untuck Elijah’s shirt and fumble his way to the top button, nervous as he works his way back down. He makes it there though, focused when he pushes the material over Elijah’s shoulders and pulls it free from each arm, trembling as his fingers trail over one tattoo and then another. Then it’s Elijah who reaches forward, fingertips almost painfully light as they dance over Alex’s bare skin, chasing goosebumps an impossible task when more appear than he could ever touch, Alex finally taking the cue and brushing his hands over Elijah until he knows what his goosebumps feel like too.

It's so different, somehow, from when they’d kicked everything aside in Alex’s bed, all of that on a whim and everything so intentional about the way they’re exploring now. They continue to kiss while they begin to map each other’s bodies, learning about a dozen unspoken wishes while they swallow the sounds that get passed between them. Then Elijah’s fingers trace the skin just above the waistband of Alex’s jeans, and he catches Alex’s moan before he smiles against his mouth.

Alex pulls just far enough away to pout. “You can’t laugh at me. You already know what I sound like when you touch me like that.”

“Oh, I am definitely not laughing at you, sweetheart. And I don’t care what we’ve done before, that noise you just made might be the best thing I’ve ever heard,” Elijah says, unfastening Alex’s belt before he works his way past the button, then the zipper, his knuckles dragging against the length of Alex’s cock on the way down, another damn moan impossible to hide. “Should I keep going, or do you want to catch up?”

Words get caught in his throat, but Alex knocks Elijah’s hand away and returns the favor, clumsy and unpracticed, and going one step further when he pushes the pants all the way down, leaving Elijah in nothing but his boxers, something he’s already seen in his own bedroom, but even more stunning when he’s been given more explicit permission to look tonight. And they’re still standing so close, helping themselves to as many kisses as they can while they undress, everything almost unbearably slow around them by the time Alex’s jeans join Elijah’s on the floor.

“You’re so—” Alex trails off because he doesn’t know what he was going to say anyway, but when he wraps his arms around Elijah and meets his open mouth for something tender and intimate, Elijah seems to know.

“So are you,” Elijah tells him. “And I want you to remember we can always stop. It doesn’t matter what we did or didn’t do the other night, okay? We’ll keep going slow and I’ll keep being patient, but if it’s ever—it won’t change how much we both want this if you ever need to stop.”

“You too?”

Elijah’s hand slides over the side of Alex’s face and into his hair, holding him still while he smiles. “Yeah, me too. I can always stop this, too.”

He walks them over to the bed then, pulling the covers back and encouraging Alex to lie down before he crawls over him, Elijah’s weight pushing him so perfectly into the mattress, their bodies quick to shift against each other, and the cotton of their boxers a wonderful, terrible tease. Without thinking, Alex’s arms wrap around Elijah’s body, one of his legs curling over the back of Elijah’s too, wanting him impossibly closer while Elijah sucks at his neck and makes Alex squirm, everything inside him ready to claw its way out.

“M'not gonna stop. I never knew it could be like this—didn’t know I could have this,” Alex confesses. “Please, I—please show me everything. I want to feel everything.”

Elijah kisses Alex deeply, grinding against him just enough to relieve and ramp up the tension between them at the same time, and when he eases away again, his blue eyes are dark and honest and curious.

“Have you thought about this?”

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