Page 25 of Love is Blind

Will I even be a good mother? I won’t be like other mothers; I won’t ever be able to see my child. I won’t be able to watch them run around and play. Not only that, but I won’t get to watch a dance recital or a football game. I won’t be able to tell if they have mine or their father’s eyes. I’m going to be a terrible mother. I can’t do this.

“Wren? Wren! Wren damn it!” I feel my body being jerked as Abby gives me a shake by my shoulders. When I focus on the here and now, I realize my face is wet. I’m crying. Arms wrap around me in a tight and firm hug as I just let it all out. Abby lets me as, I’m pretty sure, I’ve soaked her shirt with all my tears. “Talk to me. What’s going through your head? Aren’t you excited?” I shake my head no before nodding yes, then shaking my head again.

“Abby, I have no idea. I always wanted to be a mother; I love kids, but after I lost my sight, I didn’t think I could. I mean, I know I can, but I didn’t think I wanted to anymore. I’ll never get to experience motherhood like other mothers. And what if the guys don’t want a kid?” Abby lets out an audible snort at that. “What? It’s true. We haven’t talked about it, but what guy, let alone three, wants to be told one of them might be a father two months into a relationship. That’s insane. What if they think I did it on purpose? That I’m trying to trap one of them.” Another snort.

“Oh Sweetheart. I know you’re blind, but I can see and the way those guys look at you are men obsessed. You practically hung the moon and stars to them. There could be a hundred beautiful supermodel type women in a room, and they would only have eyes for you.” She lets out a giggle. “I bet you that super cute Coach purse I just got you last week, that the moment you tell them, they are going to be excited.” I shake my head at that because it’s so hard to believe, but Abby sounds so sure of it.

“Miss Wren, I know this probably isn’t the best timing in the world, but I think your friend is right. Those boys have been so protective of you since the day I met you. It might not have been the best of terms, but I think you love them back now.” Doc places his hand on my shoulder, squeezing just a bit to show support. “Would you like to hear the little heartbeat and maybe get an image to show your men?” My heart skips a beat at the thought, but I slowly nod my head. I suppose it won’t be 100% real until I have proof. “Okay. Go ahead and lie back for me while I grab what I need.”

I do as he asks and lie back, my mind still racing, but not in crazy directions anymore. No, now, my mind is going over everything I could possibly need for a child. Doctor’s appointments I might need, vitamins I need to take, foods I should be eating or avoiding. There is so much to think about, I’m starting to get a headache.

“Alright, let’s listen to the heartbeat first. Go ahead and lift your gown.” I raise the gown up to my breast and rest my hands on top of it. I’m glad I kept on my underwear. “This is going to feel cold.” A splash of cold gel lands on my belly, making me jump. “Okay, let's see here.” I feel the pressure of the device Doc is using as he moves around my stomach in search of a solid thumping. It takes a minute or two before I hear it. “There we go.” Thump, thump, thump, thump, thump. Like the little flapping of hummingbird wings. “Well, I wasn’t sure if I would be able to hear it this way, but since I can, I’m guessing you are roughly eight weeks along, dear. I’ll run your blood work to be sure, but the heartbeat sounds good.” I smile at that. “But I think it will be too early for an image right now, so let’s schedule an appointment for in a few weeks. Okay?” I nod, cleaning off my stomach and sitting up. “Alright, I’ll write you a prescription for some nausea medication, but it’s completely normal. I want you to start taking some prenatal vitamins every morning as well.” All I can do is continue to nod as Doc continues to talk. The thumping of my baby’s heartbeat is the only thing I can process.

“I will make sure everything gets taken care of, Doc.” Abby tells him. They exchange a few more words as I quickly dress, still in a bit of a daze. I heard a heartbeat. I’m going to be growing into a human being. The thump, thump of a heartbeat just made it so surreal. I come to at the sound of the door closing.

“So Wren, how are you feeling?” Abby sounds cautious, and I don’t blame her. When I first heard the words, you’re pregnant, I spiraled but now…

“I’m pregnant. I’m having a baby, Abby.” I turn to her, giving her a huge smile as my hands drift back down to my flat tummy. I try to imagine myself all big and swollen, and it's hard not to laugh. “I’m going to look ridiculous once I gain weight. I’m going to look as if I swallowed a watermelon.” Abby lets out her own laugh at my description.

“I bet that still won’t stop the guys from rubbing up against you. I bet it will only get worse. They won’t be able to keep their hands off you.” I sigh at that. Abby might be right, if the news doesn’t freak them out first.

“I think we should go home instead of the shop. This changes a lot, and I think the guys should know sooner rather than later.” Abby agrees, as we gather our things and say a quick bye to Doc on the way out. Taking a deep breath of fresh air, we climb into the SUV and tell the driver to head home instead.

We’re ten minutes into our ride home, and I’ve gone over a hundred and one ways to tell the guys the news. From putting buns in the oven and telling them to check it to yelling “surprise I’m pregnant” as they walk through the door. But nothing sounds right.

“So, have you thought about what you might want? A boy or a girl?” Abby’s innocent question sends my mind whirling.

If it’s a girl, I’ll have to worry about when she gets older and her father killing a boyfriend or two if he doesn’t like him or, worse, he breaks her heart. If it’s a boy, I’ll have to worry about him learning to kill before learning to do anything else. The guys and I will have to go over a lot of ground rules for raising a child together if they stick around. Not that I don’t think they won’t anymore, but I still have a small fear of them finding out the actual father and the others not wanting to be involved anymore.

I give Abby a shrug. “Honestly, I don’t mind either, as long as they’re healthy and happy.”

“I get that. So will I be like an unofficial official auntie because I have so many outfit ideas, with little itty bitty shoes.” I giggle at that.

“Absolutely. I need you; I’ll even baptize you as Auntie Abby.” She squeaks with excitement.

“I’m really glad we met Wren. As you know, I don’t have any family, and just the couple of weeks working for you made me feel not so alone anymore. I have no idea how I will ever repay you, but I’ll find a way.” She reaches over to hug me when the screech of tires then metal scraping against metal sound behind us.

My heart skips a beat as Abby’s grip tightens around, and I reach for Ares in my lap. “Ladies, hang on!” One man yells from the front. I scream when our SUV gets hit from behind, causing us to swerve all over the road. I grip Ares tighter as Abby yells. “Get us out of here.”

What is going on? Was there a car accident, and we were just in the wrong place at the wrong time?

I’m proving wrong when we’re rammed from behind again. “Fuck, I can’t shake him. Shit. Hang on!” Another hit, but this one was from the side, causing our driver to lose control.

“Wren!” Abby screams as the SUV rolls. I don’t know how many times we roll, but when we finally stop, we’ve turned upside down. My head is pounding as I try to shake away the sudden fog.

“Abby? Ares? Hello?” I hear a soft whine, then a low groan from next to me. “Abby?” I ask again. Once again, I can hear Ares whining from under me. I need to get down. I need to get us out of here. I can hear what sounds like gunshots just outside. Reality comes crashing back. Adrian.

“W-Wren? Are you okay?” Abby’s okay. I hear a loud thump as she releases herself. “Hold on, let me get you down.”

“Abby, we need to hurry. It’s Adrian. I know it.” I hear her curse before shuffling closer.

“Okay, this is going to hurt.” I give her a nod and she releases my seatbelt. I drop like a brick, landing hard on my shoulder.

The gunshot sounds closer now, and I know if Abby is caught with me, he will torture her or, worse, kill her. Swallowing the fear and pain I’m currently feeling, I tell Abby to run.

“Abby, I need you to run. Take Ares and run. Please.” I beg, shifting the weight off my shoulder.

“What?! No! I’m not leaving you. We can run together.” She begs back.

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