Page 2 of Loved By You

He turns to face me. “Ria, this isn’t…” he stutters.

“Save your excuses for someone who gives a shit, Alex. I’m done. I should have left your pathetic ass the day I found the first shirt, but I didn’t because of our girls. I wanted to try, and God, have I tried, but I’m done. I can’t do this anymore.” My eyes burn with tears that threaten to fall, but I refuse to let them. Relief floods my body at saying the words I've tried to say for so long, but I’ve been too terrified to let out.

“Ria, please let’s talk about this. It's really not what you think, it’s—”

“Not what I think,” I scream before he can finish his sentence. “What I think, Alex, is you, for whatever reason, can’t seem to keep your dick in your pants, and rather than come home to me, you’d rather stick it in whoever’s open and offering.” I suck in a breath before I continue, “I deserve better. I can’t spend another day wondering where you are or who you’re with. It’s killing me, piece by piece, Alex. I am done. Pick up your crap and leave.” My voice cracks on the last word.

His eyebrows pinch, his face reddening with anger. “This is my fucking house, Ria. If you are done, you leave.”

“I don’t have a job and I have the girls to look after. Where am I supposed to go?” I say shakily, shocked that he’s telling me to leave.

He steps closer, invading my personal space, the stench of bourbon filling my nostrils, a smug smile forming as he stands inches away from my face. “Well, you should have thought about that, shouldn’t you? And probably before you started launching my shit across the front lawn in a tantrum. Maybe if you calmed the fuck down and stopped being a drama queen, you’d see just how fucking good you have it, shut your mouth, and get on with it. You’re making this more than what it is.”

“More than what it is, Alex,” I shout, my earlier rage bubbling to the surface again. my muscles quivering and my heart pounding in my chest. “You’ve been sleeping with other women. We’re married. That is not okay.”

“For fuck's sake. Show me a man that hasn’t dipped his dick in his secretary or a bar slut. Don’t take it personally. We all do it.”

My mouth gapes. I have no words. The man I fell in love with at nineteen, who saved me, who gave me the two most precious gifts—my darling girls—has just stood in front of me and brushed his affairs off as if they are normal; something every man does, something I just need to accept.

I’m not sure where the strength comes from, but the words leave my mouth before I have time to process them. “Fine, then me and the girls will leave.”

“What?” he scoffs. “Where the hell do you think are you going to go? You have no one, Ria. Your car crash of a mother is off fucking anything with a pulse. Your daddy doesn’t want you,” he mocks. “And your brother pissed off and joined the Marines just to get the hell away from you and your mom.”

“Oh, and…” he adds as he throws back his head and lets out a demonic laugh. “I fucked your friend from college. Granted, notthe best sex of my life, but fuck me, that girl could ride a dick like I was her personal show pony.”

My stomach lurches at the reminder of his affair with my college friend, bile threatening to escape.Why is he trying to hurt me more than he already has?He hasn’t apologized or even tried to.

“So, Maria Kennedy. Where the fuck are you going to go?” A slow, unkind smile spreads across his face.

The use of my full name feels like a stab to my heart.It won't be my full name anymore.Realization of how different things are going to be hits me, knocking the air from my lungs.

I take in my husband of six years. His baby blue eyes, chiseled jaw, the little scar on the left side of his top lip he got playing soccer as a teenager. His sandy blonde hair with the patch at the front that’s a touch lighter than the rest. The five o’clock shadow that I always found insanely attractive. I wonder at what point the man of my dreams turned into the man of my nightmares.

“I don’t know, Alex, but as long as it’s away from you, that’s all I care about.”

He looks me up and down like he can’t stand the sight of me. “Yeah, well, all the best with that. You need to clean up this shit show before you go.” And with that, he storms past me; out of our room and out of my life.

Chapter One

Ria

“I think that's everything off the van now. Anything else you need before we go?”

“No thanks, Gary. You’ve been great,” I say with a smile.

“You take care and say hi to your mom when you see her,” he chuckles.

“I will,” I tell him with an eye roll. Gary is an old family friend who knows just how much of a hot mess my mother is. When he found out I was leaving Alex, he offered to help me move.

I stand in the small entrance hall of my new home feeling like I can finally breathe for the first time in a really long time. A sense of pride floods me as I look round the small space.I’ve done this.I hung the gold pendant light myself. I've built the white wooden entry table with my bare hands and a rusty screwdriver I found in the previous owner's tool box. It's full of moving boxes andbubble wrapped photographs of the girls that I wasn't prepared to leave. They lean against the wall, making it like an obstacle course in here.

I can do this, I did this,I tell myself as I close the front door and step further inside.

My phone vibrates in my back pocket, and I reach inside and pull it free, seeing two text messages.

Noah

Hey, baby sis. I'm sorry I couldn't be there to help you move. I’m so proud of you. Off on deployment now. I don't know how long, but I'll call when I can. Look after those nieces of mine. Love you x

---