Page 30 of Loved By You

Thankfully, I have only seen Alex a couple of times to hand the girls over. We do the exchanges with his parents and they supervise the visits. I expressed my concerns to my lawyer about his drinking and how he’s never really had the girls alone, sountil he proves he can manage, he will see the girls at his parents’ house.

Alex keeps asking where we live, and I just don’t want to tell him. Yes, you could argue that as their dad he has a right to know, because if the shoe was on the other foot I'd expect to know, but I know him. He doesn't want to know out of safety or concern; he wants control. He would have something to say about the house I've chosen, the area, how I've decorated and I just don't need that negativity in my life. I’ve come too far to let him back into my headspace.

He has asked me back numerous times, tells me he regrets what he did, begging for another chance. He tells me he's changed. All the usual bullshit. I admire his parents for remaining neutral throughout all this. Not once have they asked me to forgive their son or shared their opinion on the situation. I know they don't approve of what he's done and how he's treated me and the girls, and I know it breaks them watching me hand the girls over and driving away, and truthfully, I feel like I leave a piece of my heart every time I drop them off. There are no more Sunday dinners at their house, no more family weekends at the lake. All of that stopped because he couldn't keep his dick in his pants and treated me like I was an option rather than a priority. We all have a breaking point and four months ago, I reached mine.

The sun beams down on my face as I push Elle on a swing. "Wheeeee!" Lexi squeals as she bombs down the slide, landing on her butt with a laugh. I shake my head. These girls are crazy. Or maybe I'm the crazy one? I couldn't say no to Lexi when she saw the ice cream truck earlier, which is probably why she's so full of energy right now. I live for days like these. Me and my girls.

“Mommy, can I go on the swing too?” Lexi asks.

“Sure, baby.” She skips over to the free swing and I lift her in and begin to push.

“When is Jack coming to our house? I like Jack, Mommy and so does Nugget.”

I let out a little laugh. “Soon, sweetie. He's very busy with work.”

Jack has been over a couple of times since he turned up that day and to be honest, I'm surprised he's come around after Lexi’s performance and the M&M’s moment.

True to his word, he has been there for me and kept our relationship completely platonic, and I know it's messed up, but there is a part of me that is disappointed. Why is he so perfect and respectful? He’s at the club most weekends and the amount of times my mind drifts off when I look at him, thinking about the way his lips felt on mine and his firm grip on my ass as he pulled me into him.

But I can't be mad. He's doing exactly what I said I wanted. I wanted a friend, not a relationship, but after our encounter, I didn't realize how much I missed that kind of affection and intimacy and now I’m craving it.

Mine and Alex’s sex life was anything but passionate. In the early days, sure it was fun, but after we got married, it became one-sided. My pleasure was never a priority. If he wanted it, and I didn't, he would make me feel guilty and grind me down till I gave in. Sometimes it was easier just to sleep with him than turn him down. I can't remember the last time I had an orgasm. I am a twenty-nine-year-old, single mom of two and I can't remember the last time I climaxed.

Well, shit, that’s just depressed the hell out of me.

My pity party is interrupted by my phone ringing in my diaper bag. I rifle through, trying to find it before it rings out. I can't help but smile when I find it and see Jack’s name on the phone.

“Hello,” I answer.

“Ri, it's Jack.”

I giggle. “I know. Everything okay?”

“Ermm, yeah, kinda. We've had a few of the girls call in sick tonight. They went out to a seafood restaurant, and it seems they got food poisoning.”

Thank God I didn't go out with them in the end.

“Me and Harry will be working behind the bar tonight. I know you have the girls, and I wouldn't ask unless we were desperate, but is there any chance you could come in tonight?”

“Oh, Jack. I really wanna help, but Anne and Steve are out of town. I guess I could see if Ali or Gabs could have them.”

Do I want to work tonight? Not really, but do I want to spend the evening with Jack? Absolutely.A flutter in my belly forms at the thought of being around him.

“I'll pay you double time for the inconvenience.”

“Well, now, you’re talking.” I laugh. “Let me speak to the girls and I'll call you back.”

“Thanks, sweetheart.” He sighs, ending the call.

I type a text out to the girls in our group chat asking if either of them are free tonight to babysit.

Ali replies straight away, telling me she can, and gets off work at six.

“Lexi, how do you fancy seeing Auntie Ali tonight?”

“Yaaaayyyy,” she squeals as I push her a little higher.

I call Jack back and he answers after two rings.

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