Page 63 of Loved By You

“Stop that, stop that shit. You are the strongest woman I know. Don't you dare talk about yourself like that.” It comes out angrier than I intend, but it cuts me deep hearing her talk about herself like that.

“Oh, my God and then I come here and expect you to have sex with me.” She laughs manically. “I really am an embarrassment. I need to go” She goes to get up from the couch and I pull her back, pressing our foreheads together.

“Listen to me,” I demand. “I’m not letting you run. You have no idea how much I want you, all of you, every fucking inch of you in my bed right now, but this isn't how I want it to be. You deserve more than a drunk fuck and I wanna know that, when it happens, it’s happening because you want it, and not to get back at your shit bag ex. Because once I have you Ri, I know I’m not gonna be able to let you go.”

I see my words register, but her eyes still look haunted. “Jack,” my name barely a whisper from her lips. “I’m sorry. I just—” Her words break into a gut-wrenching sob.

I hold her so tightly I think I might squeeze the air from her. “I know, baby. I’m sorry too.”

We stay like that for what feels like a lifetime as she draws circles on my chest with her index finger and I nuzzle my nose into her hair.

“Am I hard to love?” she whispers eventually.

Her words hurt my heart. “No, sweetheart, of course you’re not. You just chose the wrong person to love you.”

“I really want to be happy, but every time I start to feel it, something inside me tells me that I don't deserve it, so I panic and…” Another sob escapes her lips.

“Ri, you deserve all the happiness in this world. You just got to believe that and let people in… let me in.”

“I’m scared to lose you if I let you in fully. I don't think I’d ever recover if I lost you,” she sniffs.

Her confession hits me square in the chest. Knowing that she may feel just as deeply for me as I do for her.

“Sweetheart, you are well and truly buried in my heart to ever lose me. You deserve someone who isn't okay with losing you, someone who will love you the way you deserve to be loved, and you won't have to question it or fight for it.”

Her breathing slows, her body feeling heavier against my chest. I tighten my hold on her, letting her know I've got her.

“And if you let me, I want to be the one to show you.” It's barely a whisper and I don't know if she heard me, but when she doesn't speak, I lift my head ever so slightly to find her sleeping peacefully in my arms.

Chapter Twenty-Five

Ria

I have done just about everything I can to keep my mind busy and not think about last night—how I completely embarrassed myself in front of Jack. Threw myself at him and then acted like I did when he rejected me.

Don’t be dramatic, Ria, he didn’t reject you.

I get it, even respect him for it. I was intoxicated and he didn't want to take advantage, but now I fear I have not only ruined any chance for us, but our friendship too. I’ve texted him to apologize but had no response. He was sleeping when I snuck out of his apartment this morning. I left a note promising I wasn't running, but that I needed to get home and clear my head.

Anne and Steve still have the girls this weekend and even though I'm off, and they told me to relax.What’s relaxing?I’ve been batch cooking, cleaning, and randomly started labeling myspice jars, because what else does one do when they're low-key freaking out about life?

After a long shower, I'm in my comfiest clothes, “Luke Coombs” is singing to me over the speaker system and I am on the sofa, eyeballing the Chinese takeout menu just when there is a knock at the door.

I make my way there and open it to find Jack dressed in gray sweatpants and a white t-shirt that shows his biceps off to perfection. He’s got a backward cap and is holding a bag of takeout in one hand and scrabble in the other.

Fuck me sideways. Why does the universe hate me?

"Jack, you're here?"

He smiles, and my heart jumps at the sight.

“I am. I bought Chinese food and Scrabble. Hope you're ready to lose a game or two.”

I grin, nodding as he pushes past me like he's comfortable enough to do that. Maybe I didn't make that much of an idiot out of myself last night after all.

I follow him into the kitchen, watching as he unloads the food while he tells me he ordered one of everything, which is a lot.

"Jack, about last night. I'm sor—"

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