“The guy you were talking about… I was the one who was there when we got shot at. You’re right. I’ll never know who they were firing at, but the bullets found Heather that night.” I take a deep breath, then admit in a stoic voice, “I held her as she died.”
“Oh, Royce… that’s fucking awful.” She lays her hand on my thigh. “I didn’t know… they only mentioned the Josh—the Jake guy. But it was you… Shit. That must have hurt so bad. You must have really loved her.”
If only I had.
I shake my head. “I barely knew her.”
She blinks. “I… I don’t understand.”
“Part of what you said is right. Jake… he was obsessed with this woman he met at college. He followed her here, discovered she was the sister of a Dragonfly, and decided to pursue her anyway. She wasn’t interested. She wanted nothing to do with him, but Jake… he’s different. He didn’t understand. He wanted her, and he did everything he could to take her. But before he could wear her down, she came to me to get him to stop.”
“Because you’re the Sinners’ underboss?”
“Because Jake is my younger cousin.”
Nicolette’s mouth parts.
Yeah. I know.
“She had no idea I was in the life when she found me at the Playground. To her, I think it was a perk. When she saw me, she saw her way out. Heather thought I could get Jake to leave her alone and get her overprotective brother off her back. I’m a fixer, right? She wanted me to fix her. She told me she loved me. She wanted me to love her, too.”
Nic rubs my thigh with her palm. She’s not drawing away from me, which is a plus, though her face has shadowed over. “Did you?”
“No.”
“Oh.”
“I’m sorry. I know I’m an asshole. When I say I couldn’t care less about this woman I didn’t know… it was my responsibility as family to keep an eye on Jake. Once I learned she had Dragonfly ties, I got him to back off. He’s not in the life. I didn’t want him getting involved. But, somehow, she convinced herself she was in love with me instead… and it got back to her brother anyway. Like me with my cousin, he had eyes on her. When she called me and begged me to meet her that night, I did because I was going to tell her there couldn’t be anything between us. If she didn’t want one McIntyre, she didn’t get to trade him for another. But then… she died.”
And I’ve spent the last six years wondering if I’d shut her down sooner, if I hadn’t felt bad and gone to meet her on neutral territory that night, if she’d still be alive.
It was a Dragonfly who killed her. I was still shot at, though I’ll never know if I was a target. The only way we avoided full-out war was because it was neutral territory, and the triggerman confessed to Damien that he took out a fellow Dragonfly’s property.
Because, like Nic, that’s all Heather Valiant was.
She moves closer, so close that she actually is almost on my lap. “Why are you telling me this?”
Good question.
“Because you trust me,” I tell her honestly. “And I need you to know what kind of man you think you do.”
“Oh, I know what kind of man you are.”
“And what’s that?”
“The one who brought me to see one of my favorites shows, and who made it an evening to remember before Kieran tried to fucking ruin it. But I won’t let him. I was his property once. I’m not now.” Nicolette reaches for my belt. “I’m yours.”
I’m struck speechless as her nimble fingers start to undo it.
I don’t normally wear a belt. Our syndicate doesn’t have an exact dress code. Link insists that the face of the Sinners—guys like me, him, Luca, Killian—we all have to wear suits so that we can go against our early, thuggish reputation. Pressed pants, button-downs, and a jacket are common, though some guys wear ties and belts, some don’t. No tie for me, but I’m hit or miss, usually more miss, with the belt.
And then, a couple of nights ago, Nicolette bought me one.
She noticed that some of the crew at the Playground used them. Though she knows damn well it’s not because I can’t afford it, she still took money of her own—money that she’s determined to earn and keep—and bought me a belt in case I needed one.
I’ve worn it since, and the hungry look on her face whenever I start to unbuckle it these last few nights makes me wonder if she bought it more for me or for her. It doesn’t matter. I’ll do anything if it excites my Nic, including fiddling with the fucking thing whenever I get dressed.
Luckily, it’s a lot easier getting it off than on, something Nicolette proves as she easily undoes it for me right now.