Page 25 of Omega's Bears

Chapter Fifteen

I wake up the nextmorning to the sound of howling wind echoing through the entrance to our cavern, spectral and terrible, like a ghost. Ryan is already sitting up beside me and staring at the tunnel, concern written across his face, and the others are beginning to stir too. It’s a little alarming. We’ve heard wind through the tunnel before, of course, but never so loud, so forceful. I want to retreat away from it, as little sense as I know that makes. For the first time since my very early days with the Hell’s Bears, I wish we had a house that could protect us from the elements.

Jack wakes up and detaches from the rest of us, making his way over to the tunnel without a word. He disappears inside. Luka, Ryan, and I remain huddled together by the fire. I can feel the tension coming off of both of them, and it only serves to heighten my own anxiety. They’ve been living like this a lot longer than I have. If they’re nervous, that means there’s really something to worry about. I want to ask them what might be happening, what they’re thinking, but I’m too afraid, somehow. It’s as if saying it out loud would make it real.

Jack returns and I know, right away, what he must have found by the snow in his hair. I’m still not prepared, though, for the stress in his voice when he speaks. “It’s snowing,” he says grimly. “Storming, actually. There’s already several feet on the ground. I couldn’t even get out of the tunnel. We’ll have to dig.”

“We can dig,” Luka says. “That’s not a problem.”

“But I don’t think we should go anywhere today,” Jack says. “There’s no visibility. I couldn’t see more than a few feet in front of me. The snowfall is very thick, and the wind’s blowing it everywhere. And if we get lost out in this, it could be fatal.”

“We won’t get lost,” Ryan says, as if the very idea is an insult to him. “Come on. We’ve been here long enough. We know these woods. I’m not going to let a little snow keep me inside.” To my surprise, I feel a deep ache when he says it. I don’t want Ryan to go out there, I realize. I want him to stay here, where it’s safe, and not take any chances. I know he’s probably right, that he’ll probably be fine, but I don’t want to risk it.

Have I developed feelings for Ryan?

I remember how it felt to ride on the back of his motorcycle. How steady and secure he made me feel. I remember the moment he imprinted and think about how I’ve been preoccupied ever since. He’s been avoiding me, and I don’t know why. I want us to fix our relationship. I want things between us to be good.

And yet, I’ve been sleeping with Jack and Luka, and I don’t want to stop doing it. How do I square these things?

Jack’s face is hard. “It’s an order, Ryan. Nobody goes out today. I’m not risking a member of this clan. We need everybody here.”

Ryan turns to Luka. “You can’t possibly think this is a good idea,” he says. “If the snow’s already building up over the entrance to the cave, we’re going to be completely buried by tomorrow. We need to dig our way out while we can, or else who knows how long we’ll be trapped in here?”

Luka is already making his way over to the alcove where our food supply is kept. “There’s plenty here for a few days,” he says. “As long as we keep replenishing the snow, it shouldn’t go bad. I think we’ll be okay.”

“And we can always dig out the snow around the entrance periodically,” Jack points out. “We’ll send someone down the tunnel every few hours to clear it. I’ll go first.”

This all sounds perfectly reasonable to me. Jack, as usual, has made the best and smartest choice for the group as a whole. Luka seems to think so too—his relief is obvious. But Ryan still seems agitated. “I can’t spend the whole day sitting around here, Jack. I can’t.”

Why can’t he, though? I don’t understand.

Then his eyes flick to me, and with a sinking feeling, I realize I do.

All this time, he’s been avoiding me. Ever since Ryan imprinted, we’ve never really been alone together. We’ve never even been in each other’s company, except for functional things, like dinner and sleep. Now there’s going to be a whole day with nothing to do except sit around and talk to each other, and like it or not, Ryan and I are going to have to share close quarters.

Jack seems to understand this too. He places a hand on Ryan’s shoulder and lowers his voice. “You’ll just have to find a way,” he says. “Take a nap if you’d like. You don’t have to do anything. But I can’t let you go out today. It’s just too much of a risk. I’m sorry.”

Have the two of them talked about me? Does Jack know why Ryan’s avoiding me, despite having imprinted? Maybe that’s why Jack thought it would be okay to take me for himself. And, for all I know, maybe it is okay! Maybe Jack and Ryan have discussed what happened. Maybe Ryan really just doesn’t want me at all, and gave Jack his blessing.

I need to get some answers about this stuff soon.

But the morning is surprisingly busy, so no one has time for a conversation, even if I was prepared to start it. Ryan goes down the tunnel to take the first shift digging out the entrance. Not much snow is threading its way into the hole at the top of our cavern, but Jack sets up a tarp in the middle anyway, so we can catch what does fall and pack it around the food. Luka moves our fire to a sheltered spot—not ideal, since the smoke can’t escape straight up like it ordinarily does, but as long as we all sit far enough back from it, it’s very warm and easy to avoid smoke inhalation.

By midafternoon, though, there’s nothing left to do. Luka scratches at the dusty floor of the cave with a stick, making patterns and then wiping them away. Jack does crunches, fast and seemingly inexhaustible, one of our furs spread beneath him as a mat. Ryan stares into the fire, quiet and brooding, unmoving. He hasn’t spoken a word to anyone all day.

I muster my courage. Something has to be done. The tension hasn’t dissipated between us, and it will only continue to grow until one of us diffuses it. It’s clear now that that person isn’t going to be him. We can’t keep avoiding each other forever. I cross the room and sit down beside him, half expecting him to get up and walk away the moment he sees me.

He doesn’t, though. He slides over a little bit, which could be either a sign of welcome—making a space for me—or a sign that he wants to distance himself. Ryan is always hard to read.

“Hey,” I say.

“Mmm.”

“What’s on your mind?”

“Just want to go out and get some fresh air.”

“Ryan,” I say, “I’m not stupid.”

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