Page 1 of The Worst Pucking Deal

Lucia

“Ahhh, I needed that,” my best friend and roommate, Gail, declares. She brings the bottle of red wine to her lips and takes another large swig. “And that. Fuck, Luce. You won’t believe how insane today’s been.” She dramatically sweeps her free hand through her light brown hair and scrunches up her face.

I arch an eyebrow, amused by her theatrics. “What did the little brats do to make you this thirsty?” I ask, hinting at the kids she teaches.

Gail huffs. “Hey now. You know I love them…” She trails off, waiting for me to react, and I dutifully nod. “But man. The twins drove me crazy. All day they’ve tested my limits. One of them even…” She trails off and twirls a brown lock of hair around her finger. “…put a painted hand on my ass.”

I burst out laughing at the admission that a little boy got to second base with her. “Well damn. The twins have game,” I cackle. When she pouts, I cluck at her. “Come on, Gail. Don’t be like that. Just the other day, you told me that no one has touched you in two months. Now you can’t say that anymore.”

Her facial expression twists into pure horror. “What the fuck’s the matter with you, Luce? This isn’t funny.”

Refusing to let her drag me down, I shrug. “It’s a little funny.”

“You think joking about… that with a kid is funny?”

I roll my eyes. “Obviously not. That’s sick, Gail. I think the fact you’re so bent out of shape and have lost the ability to see the funny in the situation calls for immediate intervention. So spill it. Why are you so stressed?”

She stretches her legs, kicking the empty Chinese containers away and clutching the wine bottle tighter. “The district is cutting back and has fired three teachers already this week,” she admits. I nod while she shares her fear of being the next one to go. “I know I complain a lot, but I love my job, Luce. The kids are incredible, and it’s… well, it’s hard to explain.”

“Hey now, none of that. We have a pact, Gail. On Fridays, we complain about the world while getting shit-faced. And on Saturday we—”

She laughs. “I know, I know. It’s just hard not knowing where I stand. But enough about me, how was your week? I feel like I haven’t seen you at all.”

That’s the sucky thing about my job as an account executive for the Minneapolis Sabertooths PR team. Where my hours are crazy, Gail’s are normal. Sometimes we can go days without seeing each other. If we didn’t live together, it would be close to impossible to spend time with each other, which is why we’ve continued to share an apartment even though we both have successful jobs and could afford our own places.

“It’s been okay,” I say, snatching the bottle from Gail instead of reaching for mine. “Jo’s been acting weird.”

“Weird how?”

I take a moment, searching for the words to best describe it. “She’s kept me out of a few meetings.” Though it annoyed me when it happened, I’m grateful now. Because if my boss hadn’t removed me from tonight’s meeting, I might not have been home yet.

Gail’s eyes widen. “That’s new, isn’t it? Last week, you told me how she looped you in on everything. Oh, my God!” She clasps her hand across her mouth, looking at me with concern in her blue eyes. “You don’t think you’re getting fired, do you?”

I bark out a laugh. “Why are you seeing firings everywhere? You know there can be other reasons, right? Like maybe whatever Jo’s focused on isn’t part of my job description. Or maybe it mainly revolves around the players whose social media accounts I don’t run. Or maybe, just maybe, she’s using one of the other account executives to give me a goddamn breather.”

“I suppose…” she trails off.

“Gail.” I say her name softly. “The Sabertooths have their first game in just four days. Everything is fucking crazy right now. So read nothing into it.”

I’m not saying it to calm her down, but because it’s true. With only four days left until we have our away game in Anaheim means it’s all hands on deck. So I’m not worried about Jo not keeping me in the loop. Especially not when I have more than enough to juggle already. But this is what we do. I bring reason to Gail’s brain that sees red flags and warnings everywhere. No, that’s not quite right. She’s extremely level-headed six days of the week, but Friday is the day she lets go and lets her thoughts and insecurities fly free.

“You’re probably right,” she mumbles as she tries to get up from the living room floor we’re camping out on. “We need more wine.”

I burst out laughing as she clumsily gets to her feet, only falling twice. “Yes we do,” I agree. “You’re almost walking in a straight line, so we need a lot more.”

While Gail goes to the bathroom and to get more wine from the kitchen, I reach for my phone. It’s tucked away under one of the couch cushions so it doesn’t interrupt our tradition. But now that Gail isn’t here to stop me, I don’t have enough self-control to ignore the device.

I huff with annoyance when I notice a text, and for a split second I consider ignoring it since I’m ninety-nine percent sure it’s from my boss. It wouldn’t be the first weekend I’ve lost before it could properly begin because the Sabertooths forward, Sawyer Perry, hockey God and playboy extraordinaire, can’t behave.

The text isn’t from Jo.

Remus: Long time no see, Lucia. Are you ready to come home yet?

Fuck.

My blood runs cold, and my palms become so clammy I can barely hold on to my phone.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

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