Page 32 of The Worst Pucking Deal

I obediently pull the vibrator out and hold it up so he can see the glistening toy. Jesus, it’s almost dripping. “Can I put it back in my pussy?” I ask, already feeling the loss deep inside me.

He groans, sounding like he’s barely holding himself together. “Go ahead. But I want to watch you lick it clean when you’re done.”

Not needing to be told twice, I slide it back inside me, moaning as my pussy swallows it inch by inch. “Fuck,” I cry out. The vibrations take me right to the precipice, and it only takes a few more pumps before I’m free-falling over the edge. “God. I… fuck…”

I squeeze my eyes shut, basking in the after tingles as they course through my veins. Damn, I never thought phone sex could be that hot. But that orgasm I just had, epic. There’s no other way to describe it.

When my breathing slows down, I ease the vibrator out, wincing as my muscles protest. I’m definitely going to be sore tomorrow. “You better be watching,” I purr as I move the toy closer to my mouth and open up.

At first, I swirl my tongue around the tip, much like I did when sucking off Sawyer. I lick the length before returning to the rounded top and suck it into my mouth. Sawyer’s breathing deepens, making me wish I could see him. Are his eyes squeezed shut? His jaw clenched? Or is he barely into it? No, he’s definitely liking our little game. Otherwise, he would have hung up long ago.

“Fuck.” The deep and raspy tenor of his voice makes my cunt clench almost painfully. “I wonder what you taste like,” he muses out loud. “One day I’ll find out for myself.”

A not-so-happy memory from many years ago sneaks into my mind. Fabian wanted to reward me for being the perfect hostess during dinner with his friends. So he went down on me, intending to ‘Taste my dirty hole.’

I tried to tell him not to, but he wouldn’t listen. When he saw the white string from my tampon, he flew into a blind rage. Accusing me of trying to trick him. He was furious, and he… he… fuck. No. I’ll not go down that particular lane in my memories. This one will just open up to the others, and it’s best they all stay forgotten.

“I’ve got to go,” I croak out, emotions clogging my throat.

“What?” Ignoring Sawyer’s incredulous bark, I roll to my side and reach for my phone. In my haste to end the call, I accidentally angle the camera toward my face. Fuck. I look… as wrong as I feel. “Lucia?”

“I’m sorry. I can’t talk right now, Sawyer. I’ll have to owe you or something.”

His angry expression falters, making room for something I don’t ever want to see. Pity. “Do you need me to… umm—”

“I don’t need anything. Bye.” Then I end the call and pull my legs up under me.

Fuck.

Fuck.

I thought I’d successfully banished those memories for good. I can’t afford to have them stir now, preferably not ever.

When I move again, I feel like I haven’t slept at all, though the darkness falling in through my bedroom windows makes it clear hours have passed since I ended my call with Sawyer. It takes me a moment to realize what’s disturbed my comatose state; my phone. Picking it up, I see five missed calls from Sawyer and a text from Remus. Ignoring the former, I open my messages app.

Remus: I see you’re in a relationship now, Lucia. What an interesting development.

My stomach churns, and I leap off the bed and into the bathroom. Managing to get my head into the toilet bowl just in time for my stomach to expel everything I have in me. I dry-heave as snot, tears, and half-digested food fall from me in a steady stream. I shouldn’t have opened the text when I’m feeling like this. I should have left it, waited until I’d pulled myself together again.

At the thought of Remus keeping track of me, I retch again, but there’s nothing left to throw up except for disgusting bile. “Fuck!” I scream, punching the toilet bowl like it’s personally offended me. “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.”

I stay on the floor until tears are no longer distorting my vision and I can breathe without shuddering. Then I get up, and on autopilot I shower, brush my teeth, clean my face, and braid my hair. There, my reflection tells me I look good as new. Well, almost… but nothing a good night’s sleep won’t fix.

Locking eyes with my reflection, I vow to do better. I haven’t had a panic attack or any memories of those years in so long, I often forget they actually happened and aren’t just a cruel nightmare. That’s my mistake, one I can’t afford to repeat.

As I think back on what happened, I know exactly what triggered me. It was Sawyer asking how I taste, which was a normal question given our activities. Okay, so I need to… fuck, I don’t know what I can do. Time isn’t on my side, so I just have to keep on keeping on. Preferably without falling to pieces.

Returning to my bedroom, I pick my phone up from the bed and type a reply out to Remus.

Me: That’s hardly a congratulations.

Remus: I’m not sure there’s anything to congratulate you on just yet.

Me: There will be soon!

Remus: I can’t wait for the wedding invitation.

Me: I appreciate your latest gift, but please stop sending me wolf related presents. Stop destroying my things. And don’t mess with my shit at work again. Just stop.

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