Page 68 of The Worst Pucking Deal

Her question makes me laugh bitterly. “Trust me, he was eager. I didn’t know it at the time, but Fabian prefers his women young, so he has time to shape them.”

“Well… fuck.” Fuck’s right. “Did he… Luce… did he… touch you?” Gail trails off, and when I look at her, tears stream down her face.

I want to scoff at the question because Fabian did a whole lot of touching. But since I get where Gail’s coming from, and know she’s asking out of concern, I force myself to take a moment to compose myself before answering.

While the age of consent is eighteen in the states, it’s sixteen where I come from. Though, since the laws of common people don’t matter to people like my family, that’s neither here nor there. The thing that’s making all this hard to explain is that I don’t want Gail to know about all the things Fabian has done to me. She doesn’t need those images in her head.

And… because I don’t really want to admit how spineless I was. Back then, I’d told myself it was fine, that my family wouldn’t force me to do it if it weren’t okay. So much fucking bullshit.

“He didn’t touch me until we were married and I was of age,” I say robotically, opting for the simple explanation instead of explaining how badly he’d hurt me the moment he had a ring on my finger. “But he also didn’t respect the word no.”

Gail lets out a guttural cry and practically throws herself at me. She holds me so tight it’s hard to breathe, but I don’t mind one bit. I let her cling to me while she cries. Through it all, I don’t shed a single tear. I’ve cried enough for the girl I once was, and for everything Fabian did and took from me. I’ll never cry because of him again. Never.

“I get it,” Gail hiccups. “Fuck. He broke you, didn’t he? Or… he tried because no one can truly destroy you, Luce. You’re too fucking strong.”

“Gail…” I stop talking as my voice cracks. Instead of looking for the perfect words, I hug her harder, using the embrace to tell her what I don’t have the words to express.

Once Gail’s all cried out, she returns to her chair and I quickly refill our glasses. As we drink in silence, I’m hit by a sudden need to have Sawyer near me. While he’s been gone, I haven’t let myself admit how much I miss him. But dammit, I do.

I don’t care how rude it is, I pull out my phone and activate it. To my surprise, there are missed calls and texts from Sawyer, demanding to know what I’m doing at O’Jackie’s. Gail distracts me when she stands up, and tells me she’s going to the bathroom. As soon as she’s gone, I hit the call button.

“Why the fuck didn’t you tell me you were going out?” Sawyer barks as a way of greeting.

“Hi to you too,” I chirp.

“You okay, bunny? Did something happen?” I’m stunned into silence. How the hell does he know? “Put your camera on,” he demands, and I do what he says.

Holding the phone at arm’s length, I wave awkwardly. “Hi there.”

Sawyer’s having none of it, and gets straight to the point. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m out with Gail,” I admit. “And it… uhh… got a bit heavy.”

His tone sounds relieved as he says, “Fucking hell, bunny. You had me worried.”

“Sorry,” I reply on a whisper. “I didn’t know…” Didn’t know what? That he’d be worried… that he’d care… the list goes on, but I don’t know how to put it into words.

Proving he knows me better than I know myself, at least right now, Sawyer finishes my sentence. “You didn’t think I’d care.” I nod, knowing he can see the bob of my head. “I care about everything you do, bunny. Did you have cereal for breakfast? You tell me. Did you touch yourself in the shower? Show me. No, better yet, call me. When I say all that you do interests me, I mean it. I’m a greedy fucker when it comes to you, baby. So I want to know it all.”

“O-okay,” I stutter. The sheer magnitude of his gaze is enough to make me feel the depth of his words in every fiber of my being. “I didn’t touch myself, by the way.”

His breath hitches. “No? So you’re telling me that you’ve only had the orgasms I’ve given you?”

I nod. Then a thought hits me. “Why? Have you been touching yourself?”

Sawyer’s low chuckle and mischievous smile makes my nipples pebble, and arousal spread through my core. “At least twice a day,” he confirms.

“Don’t,” I hiss, feeling irrationally annoyed. “I want all your orgasms, Sawyer. They belong to me.”

“Is that so?” he rasps, his eyes hooded.

“It’s only fair,” I say, trying to reason my way out of the ridiculous claim I’m… well, claiming.

Before he can answer, the door opens and Gail comes back into the room. I hold my finger up in her direction, and she grins, mouthing, “Sawyer?”

“I have to go,” I say, looking at the man who looks entirely too smug now that I’ve declared I want his cum. Or his orgasms… both.

“Okay,” he rasps. “I hope Jackie is looking after you two.”

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