Page 20 of Doctor Daddy Dilemma

I hated even thinking it, but someone had to. Who was going to protect my heart if it wasn’t me?

14

LEX

Ileaned on the glass display case staring down at the sparkling jewels laid out beneath me. It had been nine weeks since I met Charlie, seven since we started seeing each other for unofficial purposes. Her story was almost finished, though her boss wasn’t altogether appeased by my “dirt” which I let her share. I’d considered giving her permission to talk about my childhood so long as she didn’t speak negatively about my parents, but she never asked again, and I didn’t offer.

It was moving to me the way she was so focused on our relationship that the story fell by the wayside. In the beginning, she was determined this story could make her career, get her some substantial job offer that she couldn’t refuse, which would allow her to get out of the crappy job at the Register. Now it seemed she didn’t care at all, as if she knew her future was bright even without the big break. I liked that, but I still wanted to champion her dream of speaking for minority groups.

“This one,” I told the saleswoman, pointing at the simple white gold band with a one-carat setting. Charlie would love it. It was simple and not flashy, but enough to demonstrate that I wasn’t cutting corners or taking the cheap route. But she was a simple sort of girl. I couldn’t imagine her wanting anything big and flashy or too expensive either.

“It’s a beautiful choice Dr. Hartman. I’ll get it ready for you.” The saleswoman didn’t even ask for a size, but I wouldn’t know what size to tell her anyway. I didn’t know if other men knew the ring size of the woman to whom they were planning to propose or if there was a standard size and it just fit everyone.

I watched her take the ring out, put it into a black velvet box, put that box into a cardboard box and then into a gift bag. She led me to the register where I pulled out my credit card to swipe. Twenty grand was pocket change to me, but to Charlie, it was a third of her salary. Not that I was going cheaper because she was a more basic girl, but I knew she would balk at anything too extravagant.

“Thank you,” I told the woman as I accepted my card back and my receipt. My intention was to surprise Charlie with a weekend on my yacht at sea, something special and out of the norm for our visit.

We’d been flying back and forth, spending hours commuting regularly just to see each other, and I wanted her to be with me. I wanted to spend forever with her. And I had it in my mind that the first time I told her I loved her would come in the same breath as the moment I proposed. I thought it was a deeply romantic gesture, and I couldn’t wait to lavish her in the love and affection she deserved.

I’d also been speaking with a friend who worked for the Miami Herald, trying to line up a job a little closer to home, somewhere she would feel comfortable going to work where she didn’t have to deal with the current negative climate under which she was unduly suffering. There was a good chance that I had an in for her, and that, too, was something I was eager to talk to her about. I wasn’t making plans for her, just a space she could move into if she wanted to.

Leaving the jewelry store, I climbed into the back seat of my car and waited for the driver to pull out. I hired a car today to facilitate a bit more work time while I ran all the errands for this weekend. But the ring was eating a hole in my pocket. I wasn’t nearly as productive as I hoped to be because every bump we went over made the little gift bag jostle around on the seat next to me, reminding me of how giddy I felt about this weekend.

Rather than continuing to fight through the distraction, I decided the best thing I could do was to put my plan into action. About this time of day, Charlie would be at her desk working on a draft, so I called her and waited for it to ring through.

“Hey, handsome…” Charlie’s voice was music to my ears. Her sweet, melodic tone both soothed my soul and worked me up all at once.

“Baby, I can’t wait for this weekend. I want you to spend the whole weekend with me on my yacht. I’ll book the flight for you, here on Friday afternoon, back on Monday morning before work. What do you think?” There was no way she’d say no. We’d spent every one of the past eight weekends together, and every time I asked, she excitedly said yes.

I had banked on this “yes” answer so much so that I booked a quartet, hired a caterer, paid my captain ahead of time, and even pushed off all of my appointments this Friday to have the day free to prepare. I wanted her to be speechless the minute she walked onto the deck of the boat.

“Oh, hon…” She sounded instantly disappointed. “I don’t think I can. I got waylaid with a few new stories all set to release on Monday, and I have to do all this work. In fact, my final installment of the exposé I’m doing on you and your practice got bumped to the following week.”

My heart sank. All that hard work poured into making this as special as I could and for nothing. But I wasn’t going to let that stop me. I understood her job was so very important to her—not just a job, a career. She deserved someone who would champion that even if it was less than pleasant for her sometimes. So I quickly thought up a new solution.

“Alright, then I’ll come to you. I’ll pamper you all weekend, cook your meals?—”

“Actually,” she said, cutting me off. “I’m going to have Amy with me all weekend. This article is a huge thing on the environmental impact of the post-nuclear-reactor incident in the Pacific. We’ll be so busy; I might even be staying at her house.”

I could hear the way she grimaced as she spoke, and I could picture her lower lip worried between her teeth as she said it. She was keeping me at arm’s length, pushing me away, and the only thing I could think was that I had failed somehow. Maybe I hadn’t made my intentions clear quickly enough, or maybe I had rushed into things. It felt like every other bad relationship, and I was in for heartbreak. I just knew it.

“But, baby, I had a whole thing planned.” And maybe I should have said right then that I loved her, that I wanted her to be my wife, but it didn’t feel right. I wanted her in my arms when I said those things.

“I know, Lex. How about the next weekend? I’ll take Friday off. Stay for three whole days, come on Thursday…” The tradeoff was that I had to wait for another whole week, and I didn’t know how my bursting heart could handle that. Charlie was everything I ever wanted and no one else would ever compare to that. I had to be patient and hope she was being honest with me that this really was just about the stories.

“Alright, baby. I don’t want to pressure you. Can we still video chat?” It wasn’t ideal, but at least we’d get time.

“Of course. I gotta run, okay? I’ll call you later.”

We said our goodbyes and hung up, and the excitement I’d been feeling for days waned. I had to keep reminding myself that this wasn’t a rejection; it was merely a delay. Unfortunately, given how poorly I’d performed in past relationships, it was difficult holding out hope that this time things would be different. Maybe I was a fool for falling so hard, or maybe I was just a fool.

15

CHARLIE

“Not smart…” Amy chided as I lied yet again and hung up the phone. My heart sank and I knew Lex would be upset with me. I felt so guilty, so wrong for pushing him back tonight yet again.

“How am I supposed to do this, Ames? I mean, seriously?” I stared at my hand where the small, white, plastic wand screamed an angry verdict at me. It both thrilled and terrified me, but after two weeks of constant nausea, I knew something was wrong. I made up a story about not being able to meet with him because I needed time to process what I thought.

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