Page 49 of Save Me

“Very much so,” she said, and handed him his beer. “Now, tell me about your day.”

He began lightly rubbing the tops of her feet as he talked. “Both interviews were good. Both companies offer about the same package. I also checked into EMS pilots for hospitals. It’s three straight days of twelve-hour shifts, and then six days off. I have the hours, skill and experience to qualify.”

“You choose. This is home base. This is where you go when you’re not in the air. As long as I’m still Gator’s girl, all will be right in my world.”

“Gator’s wife,” he corrected.

She smiled. “Yes...that.”

He nodded. “I’m leaning toward the EMS thing. I’ll see what’s available, and go from there.”

“I have something to talk to you about, too,” Lainie said. “It’s about the baby’s ashes.”

His hands were still on her feet when he looked up. “What about them?”

“In the beginning, I kept them because of you. I always thought you’d come looking for me one day, and I wanted to give you that moment.”

His fingers swept across the tops of her feet and curled around them.

“You did, and I am so grateful.”

“But now, every time you see the little bear sitting in the rocker, does it make you feel sad? Is it a hard reminder of the loss, or does it give you comfort to keep it?”

He glanced at the rocker, and then back at her. “What are you asking, darlin’?”

She took a breath. “If you want to lay him to rest.”

“What do you want?”

“I don’t want to ever hurt you, but in my heart, I feel like keeping the ashes in view, even though we’re the only ones who know they’re there, isn’t fair. Every day we work on putting the past behind us, but it will always be with us, because it was part of our journey. I don’t have to hold ashes to remember I carried your child. And our baby was already in the arms of angels before they pulled me out of the wreck.”

“You want to scatter them?” he asked.

Lainie’s eyes welled. “No. I want to leave the ashes right where they are, and bury the teddy bear. I would like remembering him that way.”

Hunt took a deep breath, swallowing past the lump in his throat. “There are days when I think you couldn’t get any dearer to me, and then you up and say something like this. You break my heart...in a thousand little pieces. And I would have given anything if you’d never been hurt like this. But you are right. He’ll always be with us. We should do this.”

Lainie swung her legs off the sofa and then scooted up beside him. “But no funeral service. Just us and a preacher at the gravesite, okay?”

He hesitated. “With one request.”

“Name it,” she said.

“That I’m his pallbearer.”

She nodded. “It is your right.”

THAT NIGHT, Lainie was already in bed when Hunt came out of the bathroom. She could smell the scents of his shampoo and body wash as he crossed the room and slid into bed beside her. Her silence was telling, and he knew what it was about.

“I love you, lady, and there is no right or wrong decision here. It’s a choice, and if you haven’t changed your mind, then we’ll start the process tomorrow, okay?”

Her voice was shaking. “And some day, maybe we’ll make another baby?”

He kissed the back of her neck. “Well, we certainly know what makes babies, and we do love the practice of it, and I’m damn good at it, so I can’t imagine why we’d choose not to.”

She chuckled under her breath. “We’re going to have to do something about that inferiority complex.”

“Hush yourself, girl. You taught me everything I know.”

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