Page 13 of Worthy: Cassius and Faith

“I know.” Macy frowned. “I liked him a lot, and it was a very generous offer. But I said no.”

“How come?” I asked, genuinely curious.

“Because I’m twenty and not ready to settle down yet. Plus, I barely knew the guy.” She toyed with a bite of French toast. “But really, it was more because I feel like I’m just starting my life. I’m young. I just lost my virginity. I want to explore, you know? I want to have sex in the grotto with two guys at once. I want a billionaire to fly me to Paris for a sexy weekend tryst. I want to break hearts, and have my heart be broken, and live a little. I want my own house and a tiny dog I can carry around in a tote.”

She laughed.

“I want to figure out what I like and who I like. I want to get to know myself better before deciding who to marry. Plus,”she continued, “I didn’t exactly have a great upbringing. My father’s an alcoholic, and things always got really nasty between him and my mom. Like, bruises and stitches and broken bones nasty.”

“I’m so sorry,” I said.

Tate nodded. “Me too.”

“Thanks.” Macy took a deep breath. “But I’m not ready to jump into a marriage before I get my own shit figured out, you know? I don’t want history repeating itself.”

“Macy is wise,” Tate said, nodding. “It’s so smart to think about those things. How we grew up has such a huge impact on us. We have to deal with it.”

I stared at them both. I’d never had friends I could talk to about this kind of thing, who were open, and seemed emotionally intelligent.

“What about you?” I blurted out to Tate. “What’s your family like?”

“Oh, they’re fucked,” she said immediately. “Well, my mother’s fucked. I can’t say about my dad—he took off when I was little. Last I heard, he was living in the desert in a teepee. He stayed there after he went to Burning Man one year.”

She shrugged. “My mother’s a hoarder. Like, you can’t walk into her house because it’s so crowded with stuff. She won’t let you throw it out, either. She goes crazy if I ever ask, so I just stay away. But it wasn’t fun growing up like that. Our house was filthy—rats were nesting in her piles of crap. I think that’s why I’m a Dominatrix, you know? I like having control. I never had that as a kid.”

“Wow,” Macy said. “I didn’t know that about your mom. I’m sorry.”

“Me too,” I said. Sheesh, I thought I had it bad.

“What about you?” Macy asked me. “What’s your family like?”

I’d already told them about Lucas, but I never talked about my mom if I could help it. “My dad ghosted us when I was little, too,” I said. “And my mom’s an alcoholic. Like, a mean one.”

They nodded. They both got it.

Tate sighed. “Look at us, huh? Three screwed-up kids working at a sex club.”

Macy laughed. “It’s a pretty nice sex club, though.”

“True.” Tate looked thoughtful. “I’m grateful to be here. With the money I’m earning, I’m going to buy a house with a pool, too. Maybe I’ll be Cassius Blackwood’s neighbor someday!”

We all laughed and then chatted some more. It was wonderful to see my friends. I hated to be separated from Cassius, but being around Tate and Macy reminded me of how much I valued their friendship.

We sat by the pool, hanging our feet in the water. “Faith, what about you and the whole relationship thing?” Tate asked. “Macy said she wasn’t ready for that, but what about you?”

“Um…” I bit my lip. Macy’s words were still ringing in my ears. I don’t want history repeating itself. But I’d be lying if I told them I hadn’t imagined living happily ever after with a certain mercurial billionaire.

“I would like to be ready for that,” I admitted. Truth be told, I lacked Macy’s adventurous spirit. I didn’t want to have sex with two guys at once, fly to Paris for a tryst, or break hearts. The last few days I’d spent with Cassius represented my ideal existence. Being with a person I loved, living a simple life filled with safety and affection… That was what I craved.

I shrugged. “But I don’t think a relationship is an option, so I don’t need to think about it.”

“I respectfully disagree,” Tate said. “Because you’re already having a relationship.”

“Huh,” I said. I hadn’t really considered that.

“We support you no matter what,” Tate said, and Macy nodded. “But just because this guy’s a billionaire, and he’s older than you, doesn’t mean he’s got all the answers.”

“Or that it’s only his choice,” Macy added.

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