Page 65 of Luca

He looks at the picture, then to me. “This is your father.” It’s not a question.

“His name was Marco.”

Luca gathers me in his sturdy arms and holds me, letting me cry. Is this how he felt when Frank showed him a picture of his dead parents that he never had the chance to know? Completely devastated and missing something to the very marrow of your bones that you never really had? Because, it turns out, not only do I have more in common with my husband than I could have thought, I have more in common with my mother.

I’ve fallen wholly and completely in love with my bodyguard.

Chapter nineteen

Luca

When Maeve told me my wife needed me and where to find her, I was worried the woman had said something to upset her. Finn explained the situation I grew up in to my aunt, and to say she took it well would be a gross overstatement. I appreciated the fact he took it upon himself to tell her my story. I still have so many mixed emotions about Frank. I don’t know how I would have handled that conversation.

After walking into Maeve’s library and seeing Giada crying on the chair with a picture and a letter in her hand, I had no idea what to expect. Never in a million years did I think she’d be reading a note from her dead mother given to her by the wife of her father’s enemy. I can’t begin to know what her mother was thinking or why she thought Maeve would ever have the opportunity to give this to Giada. But desperate people do desperate things. If she was ready to risk her life and run with her daughter and son, I’d imagine that’s as desperate as it gets.

“This is crazy, right? It’s not just me?” Giada asks.

“What, sweetheart?”

“That my mother went to your aunt, knowing what she did about your disappearance when you were a baby. Why wouldn’t she have told your aunt about you? She felt comfortable enough to give her a letter like this, but she was never honest with her.”

“I think your mother hated what this life did to people, and maybe in some part of her mind, she thought she’d done the right thing. She knew Frank would keep me away from this world. Her trying to take you and Carlo proves she wanted no part in it. I didn’t know her, so I can’t say what was going through her mind when she delivered this to my aunt.”

I wish to hell I did though. But if Cormac and Maeve had found out that Frank had taken me to California, would they have come to take me back? The answer to that question is a resounding yes, and Cormac would have killed Frank in the process. Of that, I’m one one-hundred-percent sure.

“The truth is, we’ll never know,” Giada says, calmer than she was when I walked into the room. “I’m not going to allow the sins of our parents to affect me at this point. I’ve spent my entire life doing that. You’re right; we’re never going to know what my mother was thinking when she went to your aunt.” Giada holds up the picture of Marco and her. “I vaguely remember him,” she says with a small grin. “My mom was always happy when he was around.”

“You look a lot like him. I see him in your smile.”

“I wonder if he ever suspected he was my real father.”

I shake my head. “We’ll have to chalk it up to one of the things we’ll never know.”

That list seems to be getting longer and longer.

“I feel bad for saying this, but I’m glad she had him. At least for a little while, she had someone who loved her and made her happy.” Giada looks at me with an unsure smile mixed with a touch of guilt.

“You should never feel bad for being glad your mom had some happiness. It’s okay to separate the people we love from the mistakes they made, especially if they aren’t here to defend themselves.”

“You’re awfully calm about this. I would think, of anyone, you’d be the most upset about what my mother did, then her having the audacity to approach your aunt to ask her to give me this.” She holds the paper between us.

I lift my shoulder and blow out a breath. “I love my dad. Not Elio, but Frank. Do you think I should hate him or completely disregard the years spent thinking he was my father and loved me because I found out the truth?” She shakes her head. “I’ve just had more time than you to come to terms with people we love not always doing the right thing. Or at least the right thing in our eyes.” I kiss the top of her head. “I’m not saying it’s easy or that I got here overnight. There are days I still struggle, still feel like it’s a betrayal to my family that I love the man who stole me and lied to me. But I stopped letting it consume me a long time ago. I found peace with it, even if I don’t understand it.”

Giada gives me a watery smile. “You’re pretty amazing, Luca Bennetti.”

I kiss her sweet lips. “Right back at you, Mrs. Bennetti.”

The celebration continues with a birthday cake and more wine for my wife. When we came out of the room, Alessia looked between Giada and me and gave me a knowing smile. Who would have thought her advice about communication would be all it takes to find a deeper understanding and acceptance of both our pasts? It’s not like there’s some sort of guide for how to work through all this shit.

Giada is talking animatedly with Gemma and Alessia about some story involving her cousin and a trip they took to Spain a few years ago. I love how comfortable she’s become in the short time she’s known Alessia and Gemma. Though I rarely saw the charming side of my wife when she was a bratty teenager in high school, she’s shining tonight. Although, I suppose it could be the wine.

It strikes me that we’ve never talked about what’s going to happen after her brother is dealt with. The only time I mentioned anything about her being free after this was handled was the day of our wedding. So much has changed between us since then, but the fact still remains that Giada doesn't want any part of this life. I don’t know exactly what’s in store for me within the Monaghan organization after all is said and done, but it’s not like I have many options for future employment. I don’t think mole for the Irish mob is something you can put on a resumé.

While Finn and Eoghan discuss something or other about the next bar they want to organize a fight night at, I think about my future. Honestly, I never gave anything much thought as far as after. I wasn’t sure I’d make it out alive, so the idea of planning a future seemed a little far-fetched at the time. Will Finn want to put me on a crew? Where will I live? Will Giada be living with me? We haven’t discussed any of this.

“You ever thought about getting in the ring?” Eoghan asks. “I bet after a bit of training, you would be a hell of a fighter.”

I shoot him a half smile. “I’m more a lover than a fighter,” I reply as Giada walks up to me, and I wrap my arm around her shoulder.

---