Page 5 of It Never Was

As she looks at me her expression changes, reading my face so easily.

"He came in, didn't he?" she says, trying to change the subject and tapping my hip with hers.

I nod, feeling like she is already disappointed in me.

Willow has always been there for me, ever since her family moved here from California in the third grade.

Our class was at lunch and Kyle Springer was bullying me into giving him my cookie from my lunch tray. I was trying to get him to leave but failing miserably because of my timid voice. Out of nowhere Willow came up from behind Kyle and used all her force to shove him away from me, making him fall right on his ass. "Leave her alone, you thumb sucker!" she yelled at him as she looked down at him lying on the ground.

Kyle was in shock that he was knocked down by a petite copper-headed girl. I was in shock too. He ran off embarrassed, and Willow sat across from me murmuring, "You can't let them win. If you let them win, they will do it over and over again to you. You gotta show 'em who's alpha! That's what my dad says! But don't worry, I got you." I opened my cookie, breaking it into two pieces and giving her the bigger half since she stood up for me and all. We have been connected at the hip ever since that day. She has been the only one who has been a constant in my life, besides Paul.

"And you let it go, didn't you?" she says as if she has a bad taste in her mouth.

"It really wasn't that big of a deal. I think I was being a little dramatic," I lie, not only to her but myself as well.

"UGH! No, you know damn well you were not being dramatic. He made you uncomfortable and he should know you have boundaries, Rye!" she says as she jumps to sit on the counter, gripping her hands along the edge.

"I let him know and now if he does it again, I'll put my foot down…firmer." I don't sound convincing at all as I hear myself.

"Rye," Willow's voice softens with concern. "You promise? Don't cave in, okay? I don't like him as it is. I tolerate him because I love you. The least he can do is respect your boundaries."

She shares a similarity to Paul in the dislike of my boyfriend, but unlike Paul, she vocalizes it. She says he acts too entitled and possessive of me.

If she only knew.

Devon, he just loves me. I mean, we say I love you and I get all flustered when he's near. I've never felt so captivated by a guy as I am with Devon. It's as if he pulls me in with his presence.

He has his own way of loving me.

I know she is right about needing to get Devon to know my boundaries. I tell myself the very same thing. I feel so confident when I am rehearsing it in my head or in the bathroom mirror, but when I see him in person, I can't remember a single fucking word. I just get lost in his brown eyes and his beautiful smile. Or I get halted at the tone change, or the roughness of a touch so I know how serious he is about something. I want to always make sure he is happy and in a good mood. 'Cause all I want is for him to touch me, speak to me so I can hear his voice, and full-on consume me.

I'm weak, I know, and he knows.

"Promise, Willow." I try to sound strong.

"Rye…"

"Jeez!" I jumped, not knowing Paul came up front from his office and was now standing right behind me.

Everyone is just calling my name today!

"Jumpy this morning, are we?" I can see the faint smirk of amusement on his face.

"Considering my morning, yes. I'm coming down from my adrenaline rush," I say, reminding him that I had to deal with the no-show pastry cook this morning.

"Thanks for that, Rye. Really appreciate it," he says as he pats me on the shoulder. "Now when you're done wiping things down, come to my office. I want to talk to you about something."

Shit!

This is either about me giving Devon freebies when he comes in or me giving Willow a pass on every late or no-show shift.

"Oooooooh, Rye is in trouble with the big boss!" Willow taunts our way.

"And you!" he scolds, pointing at Willow. Her eyes grew wide from Paul's deep voice now aimed at her. "Get off the counter. I'll talk to you about all your late clock-ins later."

"Awh come on, Paul." She says playfully, trying to defuse his annoyance.

Rolling his eyes, Paul looks back at me waiting for a response.

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