Page 19 of It Never Was

"Sure, Ryen. Sure," he says as he shakes me a bit. "You want to lie about fucking another guy, fine. But don't expect me to believe it." My back hits the cold metal a little harder than it did before.

"I'm not lying, Devon. I would never do that to you." He looks away from me. "…I love you. I would never do that."

"Don't fucking tell me another lie like you love me." He spits the words in my face letting me go and pushing me away from his car door. I reach him before his hand meets the door handle.

"I don't understand what is going on, Devon. Why do you think this? What, because I didn't show up to my car at the shop at a time you thought I was gonna be there?" I pull his arm so he will face me as my voice gains its strength back.

"Don't touch me!" he hisses as he grabs my wrist from his arm. This time the pain is throbbing. I don't think he knows how hard he is grabbing me.

"Devon-n, m-my wrist…" I stutter.

I can't breathe.

Before I can finish my sentence, I feel him push me away and release my wrist. My ass hits the asphalt, and a pain starts in my hip. My elbow burns as it connects with the curb when I try to catch myself. I scramble backward as I watch him walk towards me. Loud music starts to fill the air and his footsteps stop, giving me time to get firmly on my feet again. A car full of his friends blasting music and laughing pulls up behind his car.

"You coming tonight or not, Devon?" his friend Chris calls from the driver's seat.

"Yeah, I am!" Devon calls back while his eyes still pierce me. He chuckles as he looks me over, one more time, then turns and walks towards his driver's door, the car full of guys all have their eyes on me. I am not sure how to react and am frozen in place watching him walk away.

My breath is labored as I try to stay as calm as I can in front of his friends.

"What about your lady? She's coming, too?" Chris asks as he nods my way.

Devon is already inside the car, not sparing me a glance. My eyes burn from the flood of tears I am trying to hold back.

"Fuck no," he says, and Chris shrugs then drives out of the parking lot. Devon slams his driver's door shut, starts his car and peels out to follow them.

Tears swell in my eyes as I let out a breath. My mind is swirling, trying to grasp what just happened. The pain in my wrist, hip, and elbow comes back and I rub them to ease the pulsing. How could he think that I was cheating on him, and how could I between classes and work right now? My head feels dizzy, and I try to catch my breath before I break down. All I can do is walk back to the shop for my car and hope Paul is too busy to walk me to my car or that he is already gone for the day. I start the walk back, wiping tears from my eyes and telling myself to stop, but the burning in my throat won't allow me.

Devon used to be so sweet and caring when we first started dating. I remember when we first met in my freshman year in high school, he made my whole-body melt.

I was walking into home economics class when the teacher told everyone that they were going to get a partner that they would need to work alongside for the rest of the class. I was still standing by the class entrance picking at my nails, avoiding eye contact with the whole class, when she started to call off the pairs and which stations they would be at. Willow said she would take this elective with me because it was an easy A, but her parents didn't like the idea of her conforming to the role of what society thought women should be. I mean, they aren't wrong, but come on, it was an easy 'A' elective. So, there I was alone with no friend in sight, dreading this semester without Willow.

"Ryen McKenny?" Mrs. Sullivan called out, looking around at the students.

"Here," I said half raising my hand, trying to not draw any more attention to myself.

"Station four…" She gestured to the station across the room, and I made my way over to claim one of the stools. "…and your class partner is…Devon Pierce."

My body tensed at the name. I had seen Devon in the hallways and in town but had never spoken to him. He was one of the hottest seniors in school, and every girl swooned over his guitar skills. When his band played at the local restaurant here in town, every girl was in the front row center. His musical skills were just a bonus. He looked like the definition of a model meets the boy next door. His toned arms and chest, his jawline that looked as if it was chiseled by Donatello himself. Not to mention his sandy blonde hair and hazel eyes that seemed to always be glowing against his ivory-smooth skin. There was no way Devon Pierce was going to be my class partner this whole semester. I stared at my feet resting on the stool as a pair of checkered vans came into view and took their place on the empty stool next to me. My eyes glided up from his slim black jeans to his jean jacket till I was met with a sideways grin and golden hues looking right at me.

"Ryen was it?" he said in a husky voice as he ran his hand through his messy blonde hair.

"Yes. Devon, was it?" I replied, trying to not let my voice sound small.

"Yes," he let out a low chuckle. "Never met a girl named Ryen before, kind of a boy name."

"Do I look like a boy?" I retorted, giving him a raised eyebrow.

"No…" his voice came out silkier than before as his eyes moved down my body, making the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. I tried not to let out a shiver. "…You definitely do not look like a boy, Ryen McKenny." The grin returned. I couldn't help but melt inside and return his grin.

The remainder of class time was silent, filled with moments of me staring at his side profile and him catching my glances as Mrs. Sullivan went over the class rules and the course material. Before I knew it, the bell rang for class to be over. I was already looking forward to tomorrow's class with Devon. I grabbed my bag and went to walk out the door when I hit a hard wall of warm muscles and the smell of sandalwood. Looking up to see Devon looking down at me, his hand pulled my bag back onto my shoulder. His fingertips tracing up my arm felt like fire even through my thick jacket. I brushed a strand of my hair out of my face, apologizing for running into him.

Moving to go around him, his hand reached softly and met my arm, halting me.

"I am looking forward to the next class with you, Ryen, who is definitely not a boy." His voice was just as silky as before. All I could do was give him a smile as my heart started to race.

I already knew I was his.

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