Page 74 of It Never Was

I don't see him leave, but I hear his footsteps retreat to the door.

I hear the door swing shut behind him.

You stupid bitch. The voice echoes through the mist that is evading my brain.

I see both Paul and Willow swarm around me, everything seems to be happening in slow motion. The long looks they are giving me. Scanning me up and down as if they will find evidence of where Devon has been. The flare of Paul's nostrils catches my attention as I glance between them. The roaring white noise seeps in as the fog takes me over.

"No one will believe a little girl over me, you know?" The whiskey breathes hits me in the

face as he trails his finger tips up my neck. "Don't act like you don't enjoy these little games we play."

Little games? These are little?

His hands clasp around my small neck, driving a whimper out of me as I close my eyes. "Look at me girl!" I snap my eyes back open obeying his command, letting out a small cry.

I just want to sleep. I have school in the morning, and he has been sneaking into my room every night this week. It's been harder to stay awake in class.

"You make the most delicious sounds, sounds your mother just can't compete with." His mouth is right on my face now.

"Ryen, what was that?" The worry in Willow's voice pulls me back out of the hazy memories, "What was he doing?"

"We want to help you. If you can't talk about it yet, we get it." Paul gently nudges my chin to look straight at him, "But we are here for you when you are." His thumb softly caressed my cheek. I step back away from his tender touch, taking a deep breath in.

"I—I have to get to class." I breath out in a rush.

I stumble backwards to the kitchen where my locker is to grab my stuff. I eye the kitchen door to the lobby and the back entry to the parking lot, weighing my options. I know I shouldn't leave like this, leaving without a word. But I also know mentally I cannot face this. I have no idea how I am supposed to explain any of this to them. I have been hiding all these monsters for too long. Exposing them to the light will put me into more shock than my psyche can handle.

So, I take the back door, speed walk through the parking lot and make my way to class.

I know I can't hide from the truth, but I can prevent them from knowing it a day longer.

Partly, I don't want to see their faces when I tell them. The shift from worry to pity.

Another part is I don't want to keep reliving it.

Both parts are selfish, yes. But I don't care at this point.

43

Parker

"You didn't see how he was holding her, Paul." The concern in Willow's voice had me edging closer to the lockers on the other side of the kitchen wall. "She was not just scared. He was hurting her."

My blood boiled instantly.

She was talking about Ryen, and I knew there was only one other person that would fit the categories on "him" and "hurting her", Devon. He couldn't just fucking listen when I had him on the street floor to stay away from her. I step around the corner rapidly, seeing Willow jump at the sudden sight of me.

"He was here?" I hiss out, "He had the nerve to show up here, again?"

"Calm down, Parker." Paul puts his hands out in front of him. Like I was a wild animal off its leash.

"Yes." Willow shuts the silence first, "And he had his hands on her. He was grabbing her so hard I could see the pain on her face." Red starts to seep into the corners of my vision. "Paul and I got him to leave, but I don't trust him to listen."

"Now, Parker. If he didn't listen to the butt whooping, you gave him in the parking lot and still came—"

"Wait! What!?" Willow bellows between us, cutting Paul off, "You kicked his ass?" Her eyes just as wide as the smile spread on her face, "Did he cry?" She asks looking happy at the thought.

I had to admit I wanted to see the fucker crying too.

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