Page 28 of Enjoying the Band in Lockdown

“Babe, I know you’re scared.” He held me close. Stroking my hair. If we’d been any two other people, I’d say we were in a relationship. A committed relationship. “Whoever is out there, you need to promise that you’ll let us know who they are and how we can protect you.”

“Jax won’t care.”

“Babe, Jax cares. If I’m scared of anything, it’s Jax.”

“Why?” My eyes crinkled in disbelief.

“Because before we all leave here, Jax is gonna ask you to choose. And I’m scared that you’ll choose him.”

“Xavier. Ask me what I want.”

“Tell me what you want.” Softly, gently, as if the world was his to deliver.

“You. Me. Devon. Bus. And don’t forget the leg ties.”

He pulled back, studying my face. “Are you sure?”

“It was only a question of trust. I trust you. I trust both of you.”

“Then hopefully you’ll trust us to protect you.”

Lunch was forgotten as the Xavier of old pressed me against the kitchen bench. I was falling in love with this man.

“Tell me what you want,” Xavier asked as playfully as he’d done the first night.

“I want you. To tie a strap around my ankle and spread my leg apart. I want you to tie a strap against my other ankle and spread my legs, so I can’t move. You know me, you know my limits.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Consider my body yours to play with. But, when we’re finished it’ll be my turn. I want to do some tying up of my own. You and Devon.”

“You are a fucking joy, you know that?”

“Does that mean I’m a fucking joy, or I’m a joy to fuck?”

“You keep me on my toes, that’s for sure. But truthfully, you’re a joy all around. The guys love having you around and they almost cut off my balls when you left.” He edged closer with a cheeky smile, “What do you think they’re going to do if you leave again, especially when we both know you’re not going to come back.”

“This competition, you keep asking me what I want.”

“I want you to be honest with me.”

“Fine, but I want you to be honest about us. What do you want? Do you want this competition, or do you want to call it off?”

“Sometimes I wish it wasn’t so damn complicated. I want you,” he said, so simply I almost cried. “I know it’s an asshole thing to say, but I want them to know you’re my girl. That it doesn’t matter what they do, you’re mine.”

“Xav, I don’t know what else I can say or do. It’s been you and me from the beginning. They are only in our lives because you invited them. You want them out, I’ll slam the door behind them.”

“I know. It’s crazy, but I need them to believe I know you better than they do.”

“And what’s the competition going to prove?”

“That’s easy. If I can make you come the quickest, they’ll stop giving me shit.”

“Xav,” I cried. Needing him to see him through my eyes. “You’ve already won me. I don’t need a stupid competition to prove that I’m your girl.”

“Well, if we’re gonna still have the competition, we need to sort out the order.”

“One date night per guy.”

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