Page 33 of Enjoying the Band in Lockdown

“Chase—” I should have pulled away. Run back to Xavier. But Chase felt safe. Safe arms, willing to protect me in a storm. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Just give me this one night. Even if everything goes back to normal tomorrow, it doesn’t always have to be that way. Don’t close your mind to the idea of what we could be.”

For the next five hours we danced.

And talked. Laughed and joked. We hung out and listened to more music and laughed more at the crazy shit people were doing on Tik Tok. Then talked more.

“I love that you’re loyal. I love your strong will, and sense of humor. I love how you keep us grounded, don’t let our egos get larger than our shoe size!” Chase laughed. I could have let him continue all night, but in my own head I created my own list.

I respected the man who put others ahead of himself. From the last of the milk, to using the washing machine and dryer. He was understated in his feline grace, not using his body to intimidate or to press home an advantage. In any other time or place, Chase would have been my only choice. If I’d met him a year ago, I’d never have found myself on a tour bus with the band.

We kissed until my lips were bruised.

I fell asleep in Chase’s arms still fully dressed. Only, as the sun started to break over the mountains, Chase’s waking kisses became stronger. He stopped pulling back at the point of no return.

When he made love to me, it was full of passion and emotion. There was none of the punishing physicality of Devon. Or even the fuck-fest that could be Xavier.

No.

With Chase, it was the poetic joining of two hearts, minds and bodies.

Yes. He knew my body. After so many full-body massages, he’d become the keeper of my body’s secrets.

But, even now, it wasn’t about the competition. He could have made me come at any time. Instead, he built me slowly until our first time together, was also our first time coming together. At least without Xavier involved.

“My dirty blonde.”

Yep. I was his. He was mine.

Whatever the fuck it all meant.

I was still the luckiest woman in the world.

The next day, I couldn’t face Chase, or Xavier. Or anyone else. Actually, I would have avoided myself if possible.

I couldn’t love more than one man. If I did, it couldn’t be love, and if it wasn’t love, then it wasn’t fair to give Chase false hope.

But even remembering our dance and his words were all it took for a stupid, crazy smile to take up permanent home. Something I didn’t want Xavier to see, or to have to explain.

So, I spent the day pottering around in the beer garden. Joining the occasional online poker game, smashing who I could, and walking away before I could get burnt. Building on my already impressive winnings. These weeks in lockdown were already enough to get me set up anywhere in Australia. I could find a normal job or keep going. Living here had given me the time and freedom to become a professional poker player.

Not exactly experience that could go on a resume.

“Are you ready for me?” Devon found me working on my tan without risking tan lines.

“I think so, how do you want me?” I didn’t bother grabbing a towel. Devon had seen and appreciated it all before.

“Babe, all I need is for you to be showered and ready.”

“Anything you want me to wear?” For Devon, I could change things up from last night.

“Sydney, my love,” he whispered. Shading me from the sun with his body clad in only black shorts. Glistening from a recent workout. “Wear whatever you’re gonna be out of in thirty seconds flat.”

I’d planned on having a nap in the afternoon, but I couldn’t relax. Jumping from one thing to another and not fooling anyone.

“Someone looks like she’s excited for tonight. We never see her like this before you take her upstairs,” Jax joked, only Xavier wasn’t biting. Xavier’s eyes followed, but he’d be rewarded for giving me space after this was over.

“Got some big moves planned?” Jax gave up on Xavier and tried to rile Devon, who had nothing to prove.

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