Page 26 of Enjoying the Band in Lockdown

“I’ve been working.”

“I know, and the album is coming together. A couple of hours. You, me and Devon.”

“Maybe later.”

I left Xavier in bed, feeling like we’d now hit peak relationship status. We’d become a routine without spontaneity. Even our sex life had become predictable. Still amazing, but predictable.

Instead of joining Devon, I crept outside and found my hidey hole in the beer garden. If I couldn’t win at love, perhaps I could win at cards. Keep building my stake. With news reports of easing lockdown restrictions, my time here could soon be over. I needed money to reinvent myself again. Find a new town, new name, and new life.

Eventually, my hunger pangs exceeded my phone battery and I headed inside.

“Hey guys, any special requests for lunch?” Five hungry men looked up from sheet music and instruments.

“What are you offering?” Chase looked up, he was always easy to feed.

“Your pussy, my tongue,” Jax said, predictably gross.

“As tempting as your offer is, I need a little more subtlety and flirting than that.”

“Maybe I should teach him how it’s done!” My Xavier had returned. Full of romance and kisses. The morning writing session must have gone well. “Groceries have arrived. We can probably find some fresh wraps for the left-over honey-soy chicken from last night.”

“Was that a Sydney can you make us some wraps?” I smiled, happy that Xavier seemed more himself.

“That was, how about I join you in the kitchen and cook up more than a storm.”

“TMI guys,” Devon pushed Xavier towards me. “Just sterilize the kitchen when you’re done.”

Working alongside Xavier had always come easily. The way we could work in silence, automatically handing each other utensils and ingredients.

“Are you happy with where things are?” Let him think I was talking about the album, the concert or us. I just wanted him to open up. Perhaps he could talk to me if he wasn’t focused on talking to me.

“Fine.”

“What could make it better?” Again, he could pick the subject.

“I’m fine.”

“Xav,” I drawled, giving him a beat of two before turning him towards me. “I’m on your side. I want this concert to be amazing, I want it to give The Flying Monkeys the exposure you deserve. I want you to be ready to follow up with official release of Dirty Blonde and the next Australian rock anthem album.”

“You don’t want much, do you.” Xavier finally gave me a genuine smile an pressing his labradorite and chain to my lips. “Wanna add world peace and eliminating childhood poverty to your list of wants?”

“Oh, babe, I wish they were as high on my list of wants as you.”

“Me?”

“Oh, Xav,” I cried into his shoulder. Now or never. Vulnerable or invincible. “What’s going on with you? You seem so angry with everyone, you’re like a powder keg ready to explode.”

“I’m fine.”

I slapped my palms against his chest, frustrated and ready to explode myself, if he didn’t. “Bullshit. I call bullshit. If you can’t be honest with me, how are you supposed to be honest in concert? Those people, your audience, they’ll smell a fake.”

“I’m not a fucking fake.”

“Then start being honest with me, with the guys. What’s with you?”

“I don’t know.”

“Do you want me to go? Because if you do, I’ll leave. Chase has all my social media marketing ideas and can take it from here. I’ve given Jax a couple of dozen photos of each of you that you can use in posts and—”

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