Page 53 of Enjoying the Band in Lockdown

For the second night in a row, Xavier and I didn’t sleep in the same bed. I slept in our bed, alone. I assumed he spent the night in the bus or the couch. Or somewhere else. It didn’t really make a difference where. The fact remained, he didn’t spend the night with me.

The next morning, Devon refused to meet my eyes when I crept downstairs and set up the pool table.

“Not today, sweetheart,” he spat.

“I don’t want to fuck, Devon, I just want a game.”

“Yeah? Well, I think I’m all out of games.”

How was it that me being with Devon and Chase and Xavier had made us all stronger? Even Trent had come around and was now more than a brother, but not quite in friends with benefits territory.

Jax.

Jax threatened to destroy everything.

“What happened last night?” I asked to silence.

Fuck.

I left Devon to make coffees, including one for Xavier. I dared to hope he’d hear the machine and his need for caffeine would exceed his need for space.

“What the fuck did you think was going to happen?” Devon at least accepted the coffee. “Syd? What the hell did you think?”

“I didn’t mean for it to be so quick.” I wasn’t going to confess all the head games that Jax had played.

“Jax’ an asshole. We all know that, but he’s also our brother.”

“How’s Xav? He didn’t come to bed last night.”

“We’ll look after him.”

Devon was casting me aside like an empty box of cereal. They’d all loved me when it was sweet and something to look forward to, but now—I was ready to be recycled.

Damn them.

“Dev, the point of this was to stop you guys from fighting. To make things fun and stop everyone from getting bored.”

“Congrats, I’ve never felt closer.”

“Bastard.”

“Calling it how I see it.”

“You and I, Xavier had already made us a threesome.”

“And when we agreed this stupid competition, none of us realized how much Xavier had invested in the two of you.”

“Neither did I.” My tears of shame needed to wait until I had answers. “Is he, was he okay?”

When Devon didn’t answer, I tried again, “Will he be okay?”

“Maybe, there’s enough distraction to keep him occupied. Look, we’ve got a concert to prepare for, and like it or not the concert’s a big deal.”

His anger had turned into nervous energy, something I could work with. Help. Support.

“Living from gig to gig isn’t as sexy as it sounds. You’re not gonna make a living without a huge fan base behind you. Most people download their music. At some point, the guys are gonna feel the pressure to give up the band and find a real job. Become voice actors, do session work, write advertising jingles.”

“But he has connections, through his brother.”

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