Page 179 of Bleeding Hearts Duet

I waited patiently for her to formulate the words. It always took Nicole a while. Something I’d come to know well.

“Matt and I have been seeing a lot of each other,” she said. “But we still haven’t… you know.”

“Really?” I asked. “I had no idea. You guys have been going pretty strong now for the last couple of months.”

“I know,” she whined. “Everything is so good. And I know he wants to, but he’s being patient with me. And I’m so nervous.”

“Why are you nervous?” I asked. “Haven’t you… er… haven’t..”

“Yes, Brighton.” She laughed. “My God, I’m not a virgin. But the only guy I’ve ever been with is Jackson, and that was so long ago. I’m just scared.”

I reached for her hand and gave it a squeeze. Something else Nicole was getting better at was allowing people to comfort her when she needed it.

“Tell me why you’re scared,” I suggested. “Is it because you’re afraid it’s going to feel wrong?”

“No.” She picked at her nail absently. “It’s not that. We’ve gotten past that I think, for the most part. But it’s just that Matt’s built me up to be this great thing inside of his head, and what if I’m not? What if this screws everything up somehow?”

My heart squeezed as I gave her a knowing smile. She and Ryland were so much more alike than they could ever know. They were both afraid of losing the people they loved again, and I didn’t blame them. But I also wasn’t certain how to reassure her. Regardless, I would do the best I could.

“Look, Nicole,” I said. “You can spend the rest of your life worrying about something potentially bad happening, or you can make the most of every moment you have together. I know that might be easier said than done, but none of us can ever know what’s in store for us. We just have to make the best of the situation we’re in and hope it works out.”

“I guess I never thought of it that way,” she admitted.

“But you love Matt, right?”

“I do,” she agreed.

“So you could be spending your time being happy with the man you love, or you can spend your time worrying about what the future holds. What sounds better?”

She grinned and gave me a playful shove on my shoulder. “Obviously the first one. You make it sound so easy.”

“I know,” I said. “It’s probably not that easy. But there are no guarantees for anybody. I worry every day that something bad is going to happen. Because I’m so ridiculously freaking happy with Ryland right now, it hurts. And I don’t ever want that to be taken away from me.”

“You are happy.” She smiled. “I love that. I love how happy both of you are. It inspires me to believe I can have it too.”

“You already do,” I assured her. “Matt is crazy about you. And taking things to the next level is only going to make him crazier. I’m sure of it.”

“Oh okay.” She bounced around on the couch and grinned. “Now you’re making me all giddy. I’m going to do this. You’re right, I don’t know what I’m so afraid of.”

“Good.” I grinned. “But I don’t want all the gory details when you do. I consider Matt to be like a brother.”

“Fair enough,” she agreed. “I already know way more about Ryland’s sex life than I ever wanted to.”

“You do?” I asked in confusion.

“Um, well yeah… that day you came home with marks all over your neck, I went and confronted him about it.”

“You did? I never knew that.”

“Yes.” She nodded. “And he tried to explain himself, but I did not want the visual.”

I laughed and hugged my knees to my chest, pouting. “I miss him already.”

“Is that why you’re so uptight?” she asked. “You promised to tell me yours.”

“No.” I frowned. “I’m just worried about Brayden. I don’t know what he’s doing or who he’s hanging out with… but I just have this horrible feeling in my stomach.”

“So why don’t you call him,” Nicole suggested.

---