Page 50 of Break You

I came hard and angry. My climax was unlike any I’d ever experienced. Furious blasts of arousal flooded my body, overwhelming my senses, and taking over my brain. There was so much happening that I couldn’t sort through the different feelings and emotions, the whole thing just felt like one big mess of rage, desire, tension, and need.

As my body bucked and spasmed into hers, and she clenched around me, tighter and tighter, milking me for what I was worth, I fell forward, my body slack, forehead resting on the back of the chair just next to her ear. We stayed that way for some time, breathing hard, panting away the dying embers of our orgasms. I felt as though I’d run a double marathon with a one-hundred-pound weight on my back. My whole body had been taken over by my release, even down to the tips of my hair.

Neither of us spoke for the longest time, the silence stretching out between us infinitely. I couldn’t see her face to get a read on what she was feeling, but given I could barely comprehend my own feelings, I didn’t hold out much hope of being able to decipher hers.

Without thinking, I slid my arm back behind her neck, and turned to look at her. I kissed slowly and gently down her neck from her earlobe to her clavicle, savoring the hot, salty taste of her skin against my lips, her unique scent as it encircled my nostrils, and the sight of her long slender neck, elongated as her head was tipped back, resting on the back of the seat.

I slid my thumb gently up her throat, stopping at the base of her neck, applying just enough pressure to make my presence felt. I marveled at the fact, that as much as she hated me, she also trusted me. At several points each time we’d screwed, I could have snapped her neck in half or choked her, yet she hadn’t even flinched—never hesitating to give me that power over her.

I kissed a trail across her throat, moving toward her mouth. As much as my lips were black and blue from our encounters, I loved the way we kiss-battled.

“Hey, what the fuck? What’s the time? I asked you to take me to the subway. Have we just been driving around in circles? We should have been there ages ago. I have to go, or I’ll be late.”

I didn’t even bother to pretend. “I told you I called the shots. I also told you I wasn’t going to hurry, and I’d fuck you in my own sweet time.” I reached for my pants and pulled out my cigarettes.

“Well, you’ve done your thing now, just let me out, so I can do what the hell I need to do.”

I pressed the intercom button. “You can go to the subway now, please Tony.” As the car lurched into traffic, I turned to Rocky. “You’d better get dressed, we’ll be there in two.” She glowered at me as though she’d happily feed my entrails to a pack of lions. I lit my cigarette and grinned, intentionally blowing the smoke her way. “Don’t be pissed, Angry Girl. I told you I was an asshole.”

Rocky

“I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that since you’ve wiped that same spot on the table about five hundred and fifty times, it’s probably good and clean now. Either that or you’ve worn the pattern off.”

“Hmmm?” I looked up absentmindedly, still deep in my thought.

“Seriously, Rock, what’s going on with you right now?” Kik frowned hard, nibbling on her bottom lip. “You’ve been kind of off this last couple of weeks, and I’m not buying the whole ‘I’m just tired and stressed with college and work’ bullshit you keep feeding me.

“First of all, stress isn’t really your vibe—I could imagine you walking calmly and coolly through a burning building as though it was a stroll in Central Park. Secondly, you don’t actually seem stressed, as such. Tense, yes. Preoccupied, for sure. Stressed, not so much. Thirdly, you’ve been so uncharacteristically cagey, while trying to give the appearance of being casual, I just know something’s eating you. Your game face really needs some work, FYI.”

Of course, she was right. “Off” was a tactful way of saying I’d been a fucking mess, and I had. My brain was fit to explode with everything that was going on—the fiasco with Mr. Cob at the Swan Club, the cars, the fact that someone was most likely following me, Pixie’s weird and cagey response when I told him what had happened, the assignment, Xavier. Xavier. Xavier.

Ridiculously, of all the truly crazy shit I was embroiled in, the business with Xavier troubled me the most, because it was the one thing that, in theory, I had control over, but in practice, couldn’t seem to get a handle on at all. Despite my feelings for him, whenever we were anywhere near each other, it was like my body had been taken over by aliens—Xavier Cross-craving, insane, alien beings, and nothing I did or said, or worse still, nothing he did or said, seemed to make a damned drop of difference.

“See! There you go again, drifting off while I’m in the middle of talking to you.”

Had she been talking? I really hoped not, as I couldn’t recall a single word she’d said.

“Ugh. I’m sorry. I’ve been a terrible friend.” And that was the tip of the iceberg.

I’d been a terrible employee, a terrible sister, a terrible roommate, and a terrible student. I’d gone from keeping all the balls in the air—no matter how hectic things got, or how many balls there were—to dropping them right, left and center. I was a walking train wreck, but I wasn’t too proud to admit that I wasn’t coping. On the other hand, asking for help, or trusting others to come to my aid just wasn’t in my DNA.

Growing up the way I had—treated like shit at home, and in and out of the system with alarming regularity—I’d learned pretty fast that there are precious few people I could truly rely on, or trust in this world. Just like Xavier had said, though his situation had been vastly different from mine. Up until a few days ago, Pixie was one of the few people I could rely on, but now I wasn’t so sure about him anymore. The way he’d been so cagey about the Swan Club issue had my Spidey senses going into overdrive

I even found myself giving Kik the side-eye, wondering if confiding in her would be a mistake. I decided I had no choice. It was her or nothing. In trying to make sense of everything that was going on by myself—which was starting to really hurt my head and affect my ability to function—something had to give.

“Umm... Yeah, I guess I have shit to tell you. I’m due a break pretty much now. Step outside with me a while?”

She looked uncertain for a moment, glancing down at the time on her phone, as though she had somewhere to go, which was kind of weird given that it was late already, heading for the end of the shift. Where would she need to be at this time of night?

“Sure. I can’t stay long, but I always have time for my girl when she needs me.”

I smiled, appreciating the fact that she always had my back.

We headed out into the little yard, which would forever be cemented in my mind as the place where Xavier finger-fucked me into oblivion in one of the hottest sexual experiences of my life. As soon as the door was closed behind her, she turned to me, her arms folded, telling me she meant business.

“Okay, so spill. What have you been keeping from me?”

I considered denying it, but given how much had gone on that I hadn’t told her about, there was really no point.

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