Page 20 of Liar
I knew there was a lot I didn’t know about Declan, a lot that had happened last semester I was too lost in my own world to see. He and I would never be best buddies again, but…maybe we could move forward. Take one step at a time, and all that.
“Would you be here if it wasn’t for Ash?” I turned the question back around on him, watching as he squirmed a bit. He might put up a front, might be more confident now, but he was still Declan. Straight up confrontation wasn’t his thing.
Eventually, he sighed and admitted, “No.”
We were both man enough to admit we were here only for Ash.
“It’s not wrong to want to be better for someone else,” I spoke, my green eyes falling to the empty space between us. I’d lived in my hatred for Declan for so long, I could feel my heart pounding away in my chest, my body not wanting to be here, not wanting to play nice. “If there’s one person I want to be better for, it’s Ash.”
“It’s not that I don’t believe you when you say you want to be better,” Declan spoke carefully. “It’s more like—”
“You don’t trust me.” I knew it before I said it. Declan might believe that I wanted to be better, but would I actually be better? Those were two very different things, after all. I was…I was a slave to my broken soul for so long, I didn’t know what to say at this point.
Declan nodded once. “And if I don’t trust you, then Ash—”
“I get it.” Oh, I got it all right. I understood more than I wanted to, and inside I fumed. If he didn’t trust me, Ash wouldn’t trust me…and if Ash didn’t trust me, what the fuck was the point of all of this?
He must’ve seen something in my face, or maybe he just felt bad, as Declan quickly said, “I’m not saying we can’t get there, but I can’t just accept your apology and move on. If you really want to…to be good with me, with Ash and us, then you need to work for it.”
Work for it.
The words sounded ridiculous, because I’d never worked for anything in my entire life, but he was right. I’d have to work for Ash, work to deserve her, work to be better.
I would do it.
“What do you think I should do?” I absolutely hated asking Declan for advice, but I’d never been in this predicament before. I’d never had to play nice and be a good man. There would definitely be a learning curve, but I’d manage. I had to.
“Have you talked to Ash since you cornered her at the bookstore?”
A pang of annoyance rose within me as I indignantly said, “I didn’t corner her.”
The look on Declan’s face told me that’s exactly what he thought I did, and it took every ounce of self-restraint in me to keep quiet as he said, “I think you need to talk to her. I’m not saying throw yourself at her, but try being friends first. Maybe you’ll realize you can’t handle it.”
I had no idea if Declan wished I couldn’t handle it, or if genuine concern sat behind his words. “I can handle it.”
“I guess we’ll see. Look, I’m okay with you talking to her, but if I hear you made a move—”
“I won’t,” I hissed out. “Friends, first.”
Being friends with Ash would be insanely difficult, considering how badly I wanted her, but I’d make do.
“My brother is going to be the one you need to work the hardest for,” Declan spoke, giving me advice I didn’t ask for, telling me shit I already knew. “And you know Ash would only be okay with you joining if she got our approval first.”
Oh, I hated the fact I had to get their approval, but it was a necessary evil in this case. On my quest to get Ash, to finally have her, hold her, tell her everything I felt in the deepest recesses of my heart, I’d have to face my old friends and the suspicious older brother. I never thought this would be easy, but Travis had given me a false hope.
Things were going to be tough for a while longer. Declan would only fully be accepting of my presence if he trusted that I wouldn’t hurt her. And Will—God fucking knew if that one would ever like me enough.
As Declan got up and walked away, I knew, without a single doubt in my mind, I was fucked.
And not in the good way.
Hadn’t gotten fucked in the good way in a long time, and it was hard to abstain, but it would be worth it. The only girl whose legs I wanted wrapped around me, the only girl whose lips I wanted around my cock, and the only girl whose moans of pleasure I wanted to hear was Ash’s.
I remained seated for a while, staring holes into the table near me before jerking to stand. Well, that had gone…I didn’t even know. Better or worse than I expected? Who fucking knew. Declan hadn’t freaked out at me, which made him a better man than I was. If I were him, I’d want to tear me a new one.
Not that I was going to complain. I wasn’t. Travis, Declan, Will, and Ash had been through a lot together. They’d bonded while I pushed everyone away. Of course, it wasn’t going to be easy to worm my way into their group.
I grabbed my bag and left the union, heading to my next class. I’d be over thirty minutes early, but who cared? It wasn’t like I had anything else to do right now besides think. What did friends do? Would Ash even want to be friends? When it came to her, I became a sniveling, hesitant wimp, and I hated it.
