Page 3 of Liar
Seriously, it was hard to keep my sex drive under control, now that I had so many fine-looking guys with me.
Someone stood behind me, clearly waiting for their turn with the worker. I paid no attention to him, my mind too far gone. But then he spoke.
“Look at you, getting your textbooks like a good girl. Tell me, Ash, do you actually plan on reading them?” A slightly mocking tone, one that I took instant issue with, as if it was wrong to actually read the chapters the professors assigned.
Grinding my teeth, I spun to face the guy. It didn’t even occur to me that he knew my name, or that I slightly recognized his voice.
My heart stopped the moment I saw the blondie standing behind me. Less than three feet from me, wearing a half-smirk that made my stomach erupt in a fit of butterflies and my lower gut warm for an entirely different reason. Green eyes that made emeralds jealous, a clean-cut jaw free of stubble, and a body that looked just as muscled as I remembered it being. Every bit of pink that had stained his hair before, from my stupid prank, was gone. His hair was even shorter now than it was last semester, the last time I’d seen him.
“Sawyer,” I spoke once I got my frantically racing mind under control.
I knew he’d be back, but I didn’t think…I never thought…
What the hell was I saying?
“Good to know you remember me,” he said. “Here I thought I’d have to jog your memory. Not going to lie—” He took a step closer to me, his head cocked as he checked me out. “—I was looking forward to the challenge.” His half-smirk grew into a full-blown smile that practically set my heart ablaze. He wore a zip-up jacket, dark, clean jeans, and not a hint of the angst or sorrow I remembered seeing on his face as he locked himself in that car and went off to rehab.
The confidence, the swagger…he was back, practically the same as he was before, but as I stared up at him, I couldn’t help but notice there were no bags beneath his eyes, that his smile no longer held any traces of mocking or animosity.
Sawyer Salvatore was back, and he looked good.
Chapter Two – Sawyer
For over a month, all I could think about was her. As I was stuck in an unfamiliar place with unfamiliar faces, I kept picturing her. Her stormy grey eyes, the pink tips of her blonde hair, the way she could frown just as easily as smile. Her defiance, her confidence, her temper. Everything about her. Ash was what got me through the nights I spent in that sterile white room, staring at the ceiling.
It was hard, of course. I wasn’t stupid enough to declare it wasn’t, but I did it for her. I did my best there, for Ash. I joined in the talking circles and the therapy and all the other shit they made us do, because…
I wanted to be better. I wanted to be better for her.
I realized now that if I couldn’t live for myself, I could live for someone else.
Her.
She was all I’d ever wanted, but I was too lost to realize it. I’d lost myself in my own grief for so long, lost my mind, my sense of self, even my personality. I’d become so dependent on the things I drowned myself in that I ceased to be a person, just a body flicking between vices. The booze. The sex. The drugs. Anything and everything I could get my hands on, anyone I could get my hands on…
Those were not times I ever wanted to relive, and they sure as shit weren’t times I wanted to remember. If I could blink and make all those mistakes disappear, I would in a heartbeat.
But that wasn’t how life worked. I learned that in the last month, and it was something I would have to keep reminding myself. My mistakes, everything I’d done, I had to own up to them. Pretending those things had never happened wouldn’t help me move on. I had to face them. I had to own up. Nut up or shut up.
I’d caught her so off-guard that when the cashier came with her order or textbooks, I took them with a smile and walked us to the cafeteria, where I set her books down, practically forcing us to sit together. To talk.
Hell, at this point, I didn’t know what we’d talk about, but we had to talk about something. Anything. I just wanted to be with her, to look at her, to hear her. Being away from her for so long had been awful, especially when the shit was hitting the fan because of her psycho ex.
She seemed relaxed, before she’d realized I was there. Her ex had to be out of the picture. So the Scooby-Doo gang had come to the rescue, huh? I wasn’t a part of the gang anymore, not after everything I’d done.
The sad thing was…I wanted to be. With Sabrina gone, with everything that had come to light, I was finally clear-minded enough to see the full picture.
I missed my friends. I missed Ash. I missed the life I could’ve had if I wasn’t the biggest dick around.
Yeah, there was a lot we needed to catch up on. But before I got to the drama I’d missed, I needed to just soak her in. To take every aspect of her and burn it in my memory. I honestly didn’t think I’d be where I was today without her. If Ash wasn’t here, I wouldn’t care less about being better. I wouldn’t care about reconnecting with Declan or Travis. I wouldn’t care about anything.
Ash didn’t sit beside me; she chose to sit across from me, her grey eyes showing her shock, her distrust. It was true I’d not done much to earn any ounce of trust from her, but I hoped this semester that would change.
I didn’t want to be Sawyer Salvatore, the local fuck-up party-boy who never knew when to stop; I wanted to be Sawyer Salvatore, a guy who was trying to do better, to be better, for the girl he cared about.
“So,” she started, eyeing me up, “you’re back.” Ash looked bundled-up and cozy in her hoodie and beanie, stray wisps of pink hair hanging out. I missed that pink hair, those beautiful grey eyes. Everything about her, really.
God, I’d been such an idiot.
