Page 39 of Liar
Truthfully, it wasn’t a bad thing. I didn’t feel awful about it. In fact, I was so wound up in everyone around me that I couldn’t even stop to think about what I’d been mulling over before.
My phone buzzed, and I glanced down, seeing Will’s response: Not feeling good. I’m going home to sleep.
Want me to come over after? Need me to pick anything up for you? I sent back, instantly worried. It felt like Will had been pulling away lately, if I was honest, and I didn’t know if it was because of what happened with Dad or if it was because of Ash and Sawyer.
When Will said No, I texted him again and told him about how Sawyer wanted to ask Ash out. He came back with: I’ve been waiting for him to make a move.
That was…a strange response, wasn’t it? I mean, I was certain we were all waiting for Sawyer to make his move, but that just didn’t come across right. My eyebrows furrowed, and I said, If you don’t want him to, he won’t. I can tell him you’re not okay with it. I didn’t mind playing the bad guy if I had to; it wasn’t me, but I would do it for my brother.
Will and Ash…they were the two people on this earth I would do anything for, no joke.
It wasn’t long before my phone buzzed again, and I glanced down to see his response. No. It’s fine. Those three words made me feel like it wasn’t fine, but I let him be. He did say he wasn’t feeling well, so maybe he wasn’t fully himself.
Ash could go home with Travis tonight; after this little hangout, I’d take a visit to my brother.
“Earth to Declan,” Ash’s voice rang through my head, snapping me out of my thoughts. I tore my gaze away from my phone, turning to view Ash, and behind her, Travis and Sawyer. “You in there? Is Will coming?”
“Oh, he’s not feeling well. I actually think I’m going to head out a little early tonight to visit him,” I said.
“Is he sick?” Ash asked. “He seemed fine yesterday.”
“Let him go,” Travis spoke, reaching into his pocket and fingering his smokes. “It just means I get you to myself tonight.”
Sawyer had long gotten off the phone, having ordered the pizza while I was texting Will back and forth. He lifted a hand, suggesting, “Uh, I’m down for some sharing—” The look Ash gave him right then could kill, and he was smart enough not to say whatever else he was about to.
Travis got up, moving without a word to the back patio. He exited the house through the glass French doors and immediately lit one up. He didn’t bother to put on his coat or anything, too cool to feel the cold. It was as I returned my attention to Sawyer and Ash that Sawyer was busy telling her something vastly inappropriate.
“You know, Trav and I have shared before. It’s fun, but I’m betting with all the dick around you, you already know how fun it can be,” Sawyer spoke with a grin.
“I really am debating on strangling you right now,” Ash muttered.
I chuckled, but my mind was elsewhere. On Will. The next few hours passed slowly, and though I tried to stay in the moment with them, I failed. Something wasn’t right, but I couldn’t say what that was.
Night fell, most of the pizza was eaten, and Ash sat nestled between Sawyer and Travis, the latter of whom smelled like smoke since he’d just taken his third trip outside. He seemed to be smoking an awful lot tonight, but who was I to judge?
Working on packing up my stuff, I said, “Need me to help clean up before I go?” There wasn’t much, just the pizza boxes and a few plates, but I figured I’d offer.
Ash shook her head as she got to her feet, moving around the messy coffee table to walk me out. “Let me know how he’s doing,” she said, “or if I need to come over with some chicken soup.”
“I’ll give you some chicken soup,” Sawyer chimed in from the couch, trying and failing at a sexual innuendo, something he’d been doing all night.
She tossed him a glare. “That one doesn’t even make sense,” she said, letting out a sigh as we left the living room and headed to the front door. Her irritation toward Sawyer fell off her face the moment we were alone, and before I left she hugged me to her, laying a soft kiss on my lips. “Text me.”
“I will,” I assured her, placing another kiss onto her cheek. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
And if there was one thing true in this world, it was my love for Ash. She got me through the days when I thought I had nothing to live for. She reminded me there were other kinds of beauty in this world. Just because Sabrina had died…just because she’d been murdered by my own father didn’t mean the world was a black, barren place. Just because my father had betrayed me in more ways than one didn’t mean everyone would.
I’d come back together with my old friends for Ash, but right now I was worried about Will.
I didn’t even go back to the dorm. I took my bag and zipped up my coat, instead going to his apartment complex. Straight there, no other stops. No other distractions. I didn’t text him I was on my way, never told him I planned on checking in with him.
Will tried to act like everything was okay, but I knew he sometimes struggled to hold things together. He’d always hated Dad, it was true—and now, after his death, I hated him too—but killing him had to weigh heavily on him. Will had refused to talk about it after that night, even at the funeral.
My brother was good at avoiding things. I couldn’t remember when Mom died too well, but I knew Will didn’t like speaking of it. He didn’t like bringing it up, for good reason of course, considering how she died; he’d rather just push it to the back of his mind and try to forget about it.
That would not work here. Not anymore. Will and I would sit and talk. No more secrets, no more hiding. We would face the fact that our family had crumbled, that those we thought would love and protect us forever had betrayed us. We would be together, and I would do my best to be the strong one, to comfort my older brother where he normally comforted me.
