Page 61 of Liar
I’d thought she was pulling away from me. I’d thought she was choosing someone else over me, and I…well, you knew what they said. It wasn’t when people were at their lowest that they tried to hurt themselves. It was when things started to look up, when people realized their life could get better—or it could get worse again.
I’d been depressed ever since Sabrina’s death, and I’d thought a lot about it, but never before did I pull the trigger. Not until Ash came into my life, showed me what I could have, what I could be. Not until I freaked out, spiraling out of control.
“I love you, and no one will take me from you,” she stated, trying to reassure me, assuage my fears.
“How?” I didn’t need to explain my question; she knew what I meant.
“I brought your attack up to Ray, and he said he never touched you. He said he attacked Will because Will made a move on me too fast.”
“All this time…why didn’t you ever say anything?” Man, I felt like an idiot. A world-class idiot. Someone needed to get me a flashing neon sign that said it, and I’d carry it with me wherever I went.
“Honestly, I didn’t know how to. I cared for you, Declan, but I was so…angry, and confused. I thought you were just as manipulating as Travis, as Sawyer, and I didn’t want that. I didn’t want anything to do with that, but it was impossible not to fall in love with you.”
My heart scarcely beat in my chest. I had no idea what to say, what I should tell her, how I could make this better. I didn’t want her thinking that I would go and do it again. I didn’t want her believing that I would nearly kill myself just to keep her close…
Even if, maybe, in a tiny way, that had been the case.
“It’s okay, Declan. You don’t have to worry. I just…I wanted you to know that I knew, and I’m not upset about it anymore. I’m not going to leave you, so if you’re carrying guilt over it…” Ash stepped closer to me, laying a hand on the side of my face, tilting my head towards hers. “Don’t.”
I let out a shaky breath. “I don’t deserve you.”
“Mmm. I don’t think any of you do, but then again, you know I’m not a sparkling angel myself. Most days I don’t think I deserve any of you.”
Yes, Ash made mistakes. Ash’s mistakes were just as bloody as mine, if not more. Everyone in this cabin was a herald of mistakes, and yet we were all here, trying to be better, trying to make it work.
And, by God, it would. We would be happy together. No more mistakes.
Chapter Twenty-Two – Sawyer
The first full day we were at Beacon Hills, of course, it was rainy. We were stuck inside the cabin, most of the day. Luckily, there was a television in the main living room, along with some old board games shoved into the closets in the bedrooms. We played Monopoly, and I got a firsthand look at just how ruthless Ash could be.
I mean, I’d figured she was the competitive sort, but when it came to games, she went all out. Flirted to get Will and Declan to give her some of their properties, stacked all she could with houses and hotels—and demanded we each fork over the cash when we landed on them. She was a monster.
A beautiful, blonde and pink haired monster.
It was after one particularly long and gruesome game when Travis got up to get something from the kitchen. We’d had to run to the nearby grocery store for some food for the week. Will and Declan were talking about something on the couch, while I sat on the floor, Ash beside me in the recliner, her legs tucked under her ass.
Cleanup duty for this game, apparently, was on me.
I gathered the money—though most of the fake cash was near Ash, since she’d won, yet again—and was content to clean up in silence. The TV was on, extra background noise, so I focused on that instead of whatever Declan and Will were talking about. Will still looked at me like he didn’t trust me, but he’d been playing nice.
If I had to guess, I’d say it was Will who left me the present. These past few weeks, there’d been nothing else, and I wondered if that was that. No more trying to sabotage me. Or, perhaps, he was just waiting until he had the perfect opportunity to push me off a cliff, so to speak.
At this point, I wasn’t even certain it was Will, though. It could be Travis, could be Declan. But, somehow, something in my gut told me it wasn’t one of my old friends.
I didn’t trust Will, probably because I knew he didn’t like me.
Ash slid off her chair, falling to her knees beside me. She helped gather the metal tokens we each used, putting them into the box on the ground between us. “Declan told me what you said yesterday,” she whispered, glancing at me with knowing eyes.
I met her stare. Shit. I’d told Declan a lot yesterday. What exactly did he tell her?
“You think you’re going to get lucky here, don’t you?” She spoke her question seriously, and yet a grin began to grow.
“Well, I did bring a copy of the results, and I even got them notarized—”
Ash gently hit my shoulder. “You didn’t.”
“Get them notarized? No, but I did bring them, in case…you know. You don’t trust me.” Fuck. Why’d I have to go and say it like that? Like some sniveling wimp who was so unsure of himself he didn’t know which way was up and which way was down?
