Page 8 of Defiant
Her lithe figure straddled me, and she ran her hands down my chest, biting her bottom lip to show how hungry she was for me. I wished I could’ve been as needy for her as I was for the girl who ran out of this house, but I wasn’t.
I also felt like passing out, but I’d fight that strange feeling for as long as I could, knowing if I passed out before the deed was done, Brittany would be pissed—and a pissed Brittany was not a Brittany anyone wanted to meet.
“Tell me,” Brittany purred against my lips, so close to kissing me but not quite, “did you even think of me when you were inside her? Did you hope I’d never find out? Archer, you should know by now that there is nothing in Midpark I don’t know. Haven’t I already proved that to you?”
Yes, that was why I was here, in the first place, doing everything I could to save the woman I loved most.
My mother.
Brittany helped my shirt off, bringing her lips to my neck. I closed my eyes, wishing for a different reality, wishing it was someone else on top of me—Jaz. Now, after tonight, Jaz would never be on top of me again.I didn’t deserve her, not after this.
“Do you have a—” My question was shushed by Brittany, whose mouth met mine to swallow my words up. I was always careful, especially considering what happened to get me into this situation to begin with.
As the seconds ticked by, I started to zone out, even though I could feel my body reacting to hers. It helped to imagine Brittany as some other dark-haired beauty, but soon enough my mind was a blank space.
I think I passed out.
When I woke up, Brittany was gone. I was alone in the bed, my clothes on the floor. Light shone in the windows, meaning I’d lost quite a few hours, as it was now early morning. I had to get home, not like my father cared where I went or what I did, as long as I was careful. I hoped, prayed that we’d been careful last night. We were thanks to me on a normal day, but it was impossible to remember.
As I hurriedly got dressed, I couldn’t help but think that, in the end, Brittany always got what she wanted.
The more I thought about what happened on Friday night, the more unsure about it all I became. As the day wore on, as I sat through class after class in silence, as I continued to not see Jaz once in the halls, I felt doubt and suspicion creeping up my spine, taking hold of me and refusing to let go.
What I did was really shitty.
Maybe, if I saw Jaz, I could pass her a note, talk to her somewhere private? Apologize and tell her…tell her what? Tell her the truth? No, I couldn’t risk it. If the truth got out, Brittany would make good on her word, and then everything I knew would be over.
No, I couldn’t do that, and knowing I couldn’t do it made me even more down in the dumps. It was times like these when I really hated myself, though it wasn’t like I’d ever done this to any other girl before. Just Jaz. Only Jaz.
Not sure if that made it better or worse.
The end of the day came, and it felt like it’d been Monday for years. Time crawled so slowly today, it was unbearable. I really hated it, how I felt, what I did, but I couldn’t change it. There was really no point in drowning myself in self-hatred when nothing would change.
I went to my locker, tuning out the world as I pulled my bag out and shoved the books I needed to do my homework in. It wasn’t like I wanted to be a good student, but putting my nose into my textbooks would at least get my mind off what happened, for a little while. I threw my bag over my shoulders, slamming my locker shut and turning to walk toward the exit of the school, but I found I wasn’t alone.
Brittany stood nearby, her arms folded over her chest, her blonde head cocked as she glared at me. “What’s wrong with you?” she asked, huffing. The other students who passed us threw us looks, but none were stupid enough to stop and listen to what would surely become an argument. Our relationship—if you could call it that—was always rocky.
Mostly because it was one-sided, totally forced.
“Nothing,” I said, sounding pretty emotionless. I didn’t like being a liar, but it wasn’t like I could tell Brittany the truth. She’d never let me go.
“You were quiet all day, hardly said a word to me,” she went on, cocking a single blonde brow. Most guys would love to have her as their girlfriend; she was gorgeous in the high-class way most Midpark trophy wives were, and she gave great blowjobs.
But even good sex wasn’t enough to make me fall for her. She was…she was a snake in the grass, and I hated that I’d been caught by her, forced to do her bidding, be her toy. I often wondered: why me?
The question of the year, one that would never get an answer.
I shrugged. “I didn’t really have anything to say.”
Brittany wasn’t happy with that. “If this is how you’re going to be, I don’t see why I shouldn’t tell the world what I know.” She took a step closer to me, whispering, “Is that what you want, Archer? Do you want me to tell everyone what the head of the Vega household gets up to when he’s not at home? What would happen to your poor mother when the police drag your sorry ass of a father away?”
I glanced all around, finding no one had stopped to listen. Everyone else just had leaving the school on their mind, though the crowd in the hall had thinned a bit. “Stop,” I said, moving a hand to her side, pulling her against me. I said nothing else as I lowered my mouth to hers, giving her a hard, fast kiss to shut her up.
When our lips parted, I watched her tongue snake out, running the length of her bottom lip. “That’s better,” Brittany purred, her hand finding mine as she pulled me away from my locker. She already had her bag around her shoulders, her coat on. I let her tug me out of the school, and as we crossed the parking lot with a small horde of students, I had the silly thought that I could do this.
I could keep lying. I could be Brittany’s perfect boyfriend for as long as I had to, no more slip-ups, until she grew tired of me. And if she never did, if she somehow forced me to stay with her forever over this…well, then I guessed that’s how it had to be for me. Some people weren’t able to live the lives they wanted.
But then, after we crossed the walkway before the line of fancy cars that were parked to pick up the students who couldn’t yet drive, my feet stopped when my eyes scanned the parking lot.
