Page 51 of Defiant
It…was not a bad place to be.
Well, if he was going to curl his arm around my back, the least I could do was the same with my free arm and his neck.
My arm snaked around him slowly, bringing his head down to mine. He glared at me like he hated me, like he truly loathed me for somehow putting us in this position, and yet, the way he held onto me, his thumb digging into my wrist and his arm like iron behind me, told me he was not about to let me go.
“Are you going to finish that sentence, or should I guess where you were going with that?” I asked, my voice a bare whisper. It felt too good to be pressed against him, to feel his lungs expand and contract, to feel his rippling pectorals against my chest, his bicep curled around me like a firm hug. The fingers on the hand encircling my wrist loosened but did not let go entirely.
If I was honest, I’d say I didn’t want him to.
God, things were complicated with me and my feelings, huh? I had a whole list of guys I cared for, at this point.
“It was like you were put here to drive me crazy,” Jacob spoke, his forehead brushing against mine. “If I was a better man, I would let you go.”
There went Jacob again, saying he wasn’t a good man. For some reason, it annoyed me to no end when he said things like that.
“You are a good man,” I whispered, the arm around his neck loosening so that I could run my fingers through his hair. My entire body was flushed with heat, my inner core wanting. If Jacob threw me over his shoulder and took me into his room, I would have absolutely no willpower to say no.
“If you knew everything about me, you’d know you were wrong.” He let out a long breath. Our mouths were so close. All it would take was a small movement of my head, and I could kiss him, taste him. A tiny movement was all it would take for me to know what it felt like to give in utterly and completely.
Maybe he had some skeletons in his closet, or maybe he was trying to put distance between us because of what happened with Celeste three years ago. Either way, when I said what I said next, I meant it with all of my heart: “I don’t care.”
I didn’t care if he had skeletons. I didn’t care if we walked the line of inappropriateness. I just didn’t care.
Jacob released my wrist, and instantly my arm fell to my side. The hand that had been holding it moved to my chin, cupping my jaw, his fingers digging into the sides of my face a bit harder than I’d like, but nowhere near hard enough to hurt. His nose grazed mine, and my whole body ached with need. “You should,” he muttered.
His thumb grazed the corner of my mouth, and I swear to God, I’d never wanted someone so bad. Not in my entire life. My body was on fire, my nerves aching with a need to feel some kind of release. The mere feeling of his thumb on my mouth sent a wave of electricity zapping down my spine, making me arch my back and further press into him. He didn’t seem to mind too much.
The hand I had in his hair tightened, pulling gently on the short strands of brown hair I had ahold of. It took everything in my power to not kiss him right then, to simply breathe him in and let the passion between us spiral and multiply.
“God help me,” he murmured, his eyes closing slowly, a half-lidded look the last thing I saw before I closed my own. “I’m not this strong. I can’t…”
Can’t keep myself away from you? Can’t resist you? Can’t stop myself any longer?
Guess we’d never know what Jacob Hall was going to say, because it was that moment his lips crashed down upon mine, his thumb moving aside, his fingers still clamped around my jaw and forcing my face to remain still.
He tasted like heat and fire, his mouth rough on mine, taking what he wanted when he wanted. My body instantly responded to his, and I kissed him back with a passion I felt deep within my soul. All of my worries faded away, our little fight forgotten. He held onto me fiercely, as if he was afraid I’d try to pull away, like the back and forth between us before had been nothing more than a joke.
But it wasn’t. I wasn’t that cruel. I could do a lot of things, but I could never toy with someone’s feelings.
Not like Archer could.
It was an embrace I could lose myself in. Time itself ceased to matter, as long as that rough, demanding mouth was attached to mine. His stubble pricked my chin, but I didn’t care. I didn’t care if I’d come out of this kiss with stubble burn or bruises where his fingers had been along my jaw. I literally cared about nothing other than the taste of him on my tongue.
My free hand went to his side, fingers gripping the loose fabric of his shirt, pulling our lower halves together as much as I could. I wanted more. I wanted everything Jacob had, laid bare. I wanted it all, and I wasn’t afraid of it. Maybe I should’ve been. Maybe I should’ve taken a step back and looked at the bigger picture here.
I didn’t, though. I couldn’t. All logical thoughts had flown out of my brain the moment those lips found mine.
He was the one who pulled his mouth off me first, not entirely, but just enough to whisper, “Fuck.” A one-word statement that actually said quite a lot. Never had the word fuck been so expressive—unless you were Geralt of Rivia, in which case I thought Jacob came to a close second in his muttering of it.
“For once,” I whispered, “I agree with you.” I was left bereft when Jacob pulled away from me, his arms dropping to his sides. The loss of his heat made me feel unbearably cold, and I instantly wanted to pull him back to me, wrap those arms around me, and lose myself in him again. Now that I knew how easy it was, it would be hard to not constantly think about it when I was with him.
Jacob ran a hand along his cheek, his hazel stare on the floor near my feet. “I should take you home.”
What? No, that’s not—
But my stupid, stupid mouth could only say “Okay.” I probably shouldn’t push Jacob too much in one day, anyway. I’d give him some space before I spoke with him again, before I tried for some non-professional time alone with him.
I ended up thinking about his kiss all the way home, and all night.
