Page 85 of Defiant
The two guys were sluggish in releasing me, and when they did, I remained where I was, rooted firmly between them. “What happens when Ryan wakes up?”
“Don’t worry about that,” Vaughn stated, looking to Dante. “I’ll handle him.”
I wasn’t sure if that was a relief or not. Not at this rate. At this rate…I didn’t know what I should feel, what was right and what was wrong. Not anymore.
These two…they’d be the death of me, I think.
The end of the day came in a rush. I’d texted my mom and told her I was going over to Bobbi’s house after school, to which she was more than happy about. She really liked Bobbi, and she was thrilled to see me making a friend here.
I wasn’t going over Bobbi’s, though. I needed someone else after this crazy day. I needed to sweat—and I meant that in the workout sense, not the bend me over and fuck me from behind sense.
As I shoved shit into my backpack, I heard the clicking of heels in the hall. I couldn’t help but pause and throw a look over my shoulder, finding that it was indeed the one girl I didn’t want to see. Not today, not ever.
Brittany.
She looked just as pretty as ever, her blonde hair cascading over her shoulders, her amber eyes narrowed at me. She must’ve been on her way to her own locker, for she still carried a few notebooks. Her head was cocked at me, and she sized me up with a pout of her full lips. “Touché,” she whispered.
My eyebrows came together. “What?”
“It’s impressive, what you did.” Brittany took a step toward me, whispering, “Just know that any misstep you or your tattooed friends make will be your last. I’m not the only one watching you now.” She straightened her back, gave me a smile, and turned on her heels and walked away.
I watched her leave, frowning to myself. That bitch…she thought I told Dante to hurt Ryan and his crew. I didn’t, but the more I thought about it, the more I was okay with it.
Did that make me a bad person? Did it make me a monster? I was no good at wrestling with this shit. Morals, ethics…all mumbo-jumbo to me.
Hell, maybe we were all wrong here. Maybe none of us had halos and we were all destined to go to hell, none of our hearts or souls clean. I never thought myself a bad person, the worst I’d done was sneak around behind my mom’s back and see a few boys here and there, but that’s it. I’d never openly wished anyone harm.
But Ryan and his friends? The more I thought about it, the more I knew Dante was right. The world would not miss Ryan or his friends. They’d probably done more to girls at local parties, too. No, they deserved what they got, even if what they got was death at the hands of a switchblade-wielding psycho.
And technically Ryan wasn’t dead. He was still alive, but that glint in Vaughn’s eyes had told me he didn’t have much time left. Maybe he’d use his money, or his family connections. Maybe his family could pay off a doctor to make a mistake and accidentally kill him while he was out in that coma.
All I knew was I didn’t want to think about it.
I slammed my locker closed, tossing my bag over my shoulders as I hurried out of the school, past the whispering crowds. My destination was the car parked beside Dante’s bike, and thank God, Dante wasn’t out of the school yet, so he wasn’t standing there bugging Jacob like he had before.
Dante knew I was close to Jacob, but he had no idea how close that was. Jacob also had no idea how much time I’d been spending with Dante, either. He and I got together every few days to practice some self-defense, but I kept Dante to myself, not wanting to answer a thousand and a half questions. Jacob already knew about Vaughn; Dante just felt like too much.
Like I was somehow trying to juggle all these dicks, when in reality, that wasn’t how it was.
I mean, yes, I might have feelings for these guys. Both a physical connection and a deeper one. That much I could never deny; my body gave in to these guys so easily, it was like I couldn’t fight it, couldn’t fight them. Even with all the shit going on in my life, I found myself thinking about them more often than not.
Was it normal to like more than one guy at a time? Was it normal to want to keep every single one of them close?
Multiple boyfriends. I was basically talking about having multiple boyfriends.
I got in Jacob’s car without saying a word, meeting his hazel stare with a forced smile. Smiling was the last thing I wanted to do, and yet I had to put on a good front, otherwise he’d know something was wrong immediately. Hell, he was smart; maybe he already knew something was wrong. He’d undoubtedly heard about what happened in the park. Crime like that didn’t take place often in Midpark, and when it did, it shook the whole community.
After all, these rich, snobby folks were supposed to be a cut above the rest. They weren’t supposed to get into trouble, weren’t supposed to get into fights or meet up with strangers in the park to buy drugs. Everything in Midpark was supposed to be squeaky clean, and yet it wasn’t. It was the opposite of what it should be.
Bobbi had been right when she’d told me this place had a black underbelly. Midpark was not as shiny and nice as everyone pretended it was.
Even though I tried to pretend nothing was wrong, Jacob noticed instantly. He didn’t start the car or drive off straight away, instead studying me with a knowing expression. “What’s wrong?” he asked, his rough, scratchy voice low. One hand sat on the steering wheel, the other on the center console. It was as if he was trying desperately not to touch me, not while we were in public.
I shook my head. “Let’s just go.”
The muscles in his jaw clenched, but he said nothing else as he started his car and drove us away from Midpark High. He said nothing else, sticking to silence as he took me to his place. It was becoming a familiar location, the more I was there.
Hell, at this point I didn’t even want to learn any new moves or practice any old ones. I just wanted to get in that apartment, have him flick every single one of his locks, and have him hold me. Was that so wrong?
